senior with bad grades
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| Tue, 09-26-2006 - 3:42pm |
I was wondering if anyone has this issue currently. My 17yr. old daughter has just gotten her 1st progress report for the year and out of 5 classes she has 2F's and 1-D!! I almost hit the roof! Her other 2 grades were an A + B, but I couldn't believe it! My husband and I of course were lecturing her about not making it in any college, how immature of her to let it get to this point, etc. She just started to shed a tear. I feel she is just being lazy. She has a job (part time) , a boyfriend. She is not allowed to go out during the week and we often do see her do her homework. I said "why did you let it get to this point?" She just said that its only a progress report, I have time to make up that grade. Its just on tests or quizzes that she did poorly on, I found out that ALL her homework is up to date.
Our issue is this,1.) I am wondering (since this has happened before) does this child possibly have a learning disability that has "shorted" her out during testing? Teachers just don't get it either because all her homework is up to date. 2.) I feel so upset with her but does anybody think grounding her for this until her grades get up is appropriate? She currently is pretty limited school and back, thats it.
The reason I inquire is that she is 17, and we are trying to get her to mature and take care of things on her own. She is currently on "lock down" with us, and her Homecoming Dance is 2 weeks away, so of course I sorta "threatened her that she may not be attending! We have 3 teenagers (all girls) and I must say this one gives us the most trouble. Anyone out there please advise me on dealing with a senior . (letting her sink vs. monitoring her every move)

Since your DD has had this problem before, and does all her HW, it doesn't sound like she is just slacking off. Some people really have no idea how to study for tests. Have you looked at her notebooks to see if she takes notes? I also think some people don't know what is important.
I think you might have to help her out. For ex, if she has a subject like a foreign language, could you go over the words w/ her the night before to see if she knows them? If she knows them at home, but doesn't pass the test, she might have some kind of test anxiety. How did she do on the SATs?
Again, if she's trying to do her work, I don't think keeping her home from the dance is going to help her get better grades. I believe in matching punishment to the offense. I think not letting her go out on school nights is good but it's not like she's failing tests on purpose is it? You should talk to her and come up w/ a plan that she can bring up the grades by report card time. Do any teachers allow re-tests or extra work for extra credit? Is there a subject she can't understand and could she get a friend or a tutor to help her?
I am just worried that whether she even gets in a college, (she did score low on the ACT), or community college, we just worry ,how the heck is she gonna do it? At college level there is no babysitting, you are on your own. It is weird though, she knew exactly why I was upset before I even approached her about the progress report.
I do agree with you about the dance. I guess I am just using that "trump" card over her to give her incentive to get going!
Many a night I stayed up very late to make sure mine knew the material as well as possible. Some kids just need to be taught how to properly study and to find which study process works best for them. Some, like one of mine needed the one on one drill. Watch her progress closely and for goodness sake why would the teacher not have contacted you weeks ago if your daughter was doing F work? Does the district have a website to track a students progress? I found that extremely handy. Good luck.
This is so frustrating for parents. Make sure that DD understands that just completing assignments does not mean that she is studying and understanding the material. Does she actually read her assignments and then answer the questions or does she read the question and hunt and pick through the material to find the answers? Does she take notes while she is reading or during class? DD and myself both find it easier to take notes while we are reading at home and then, sort of highlighting what the teacher says in class. Does she study those notes? Try having her put separate facts on index cards. Sometimes too much info on one piece of paper just turns into a bunch of mush. The actual writing process also helps facts to make it into the brain. Then you or someone else can easily use those cards to quiz her. Also you might consider having DD ask the teachers to tutor DD in the classes she is not doing well in. My DD started this when she was in 11th grade and it made a huge difference for her. Most teachers are willing to meet either before or after school if the student is really willing. At DD's school all teachers were to either come in early or stay 1 hr late at least once a week for tutoring but most were willing to tutor other times the students needed it.
I personally wouldn't make her skip the dance. She is a senior and those moments are so precious to them. Plus I really don't see that that will help the situation any. It sounds to me like your DD needs to be taught how to actually study versus doing homework.
Good Luck!!
Okay now that I've read some of the other responses I thought I would add a little more. You are concerned about college. Colleges usually have free tutors available to students. Teachers are almost always willing to schedule time to meet individually with students. My college freshman calls me every week while she is walking from Calculus tutoring to Chemistry tutoring.
Someone mentioned that a learning disability would have shown up by now - usually yes, however, not always. I teach at a community college and often refer students for testing. They've always gotten by either b/c their high school teachers didn't require much of them or b/c the student is so bright that it hasn't become a problem until the work becomes more difficult. My DD has ADD and it wasn't diagnosed until the end of her sophmore year. She had always made A's in honor classes until that year. That year her mid-term progress reports often showed C's so I knew it was time to teach her how to study and to monitor her work and her grades very closely. Doing that brought those C's up to B's but DD still felt something wasn't right and asked to be tested. She graded last last year with almost a 4.0 average and an honors diploma. By the way, DD did very poor on her ACT - she just doesn't do standardized tests well. Learning disabilities can show up at any point in your life.
Someone else asked why didn't the teachers contact you sooner. She is a senior in high school and contacting parents is usually not done over grades. The student knows what their grades are and it is the student's responsibility to communicate this with the parents. After all when they are in college, there are no grades at all - not even final grades given directly to the parents (even if the parents are footing the bills). If the parent wants to know, it is their responsibility to ask the student.
I think maybe that might cover some of my additional thoughts.
Thanks and good luck!
I would find out your schools grading policy-it may be specific to each class and teacher
The area we have lived in for 4 years bases a lot of the grade on participation and homework. My youngest has severe LDs and it has been a blessing! He has poor retention and does poorly on tests. HOmework and taking advantage of EC are how he is getting through school. Teachers often give 5 points for bringing in a box of kleenex, for example. Be sure dd is taking advantage of all those opportunities
If you have ANY suspicion she has LDs, insist the school test her-do this in writing and be sure it is dated. After all, this may be end of high school but it is also the beginning of whatever her next step is. Take advantage of the free testing your taxes have entitled you to(assuming you are in the states)
Obviously, math and science are not her strength. Put some thought into that when you look at colleges. She might not want to choose a math/science heavy curriculum or she might want to take math at the community college this summer before she goes to college.
Unless her ACTs were really, really low-dont worry! Unless you had your heart set on certain schools, there are plenty of schools that will take her. The media blitzes us with the top requirements-they truly do!
And, no, I wouldnt take away the dance. This seems so important now but in 5 years I bet you would look back and regret it
Got a new idea for you to add into the rest. I've recently learned about how difficult it is for 'visual spatial learners' to take detailed tests, etc. My ds14 has had a test taking issue since he was 9, at the end of 4th grade. Take a look at the book Upside Down Brilliance by Linda Silverman and see if there's anything there that might click. Or you can start at this website: http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/Visual_Spatial_Learner/vsl.htm For me, it's like it was that aha moment - so for us I spend lots of time with ds to pick up the pieces where teachers in HS just don't seem to have time to do differentiated instruction any more (he had much better luck in MS).
In the case of his HS, his biology teacher bases half the grade on quizzes and tests. He has a 95 on homework and labs and in-class work, but a 75 on quizzes and tests, so he's got a B in there. He loves the class, but just doesn't test well. Yes, he reviews. Yes, he studies. Yes, he really knows it. But when it comes to tests...and no, it's not anxiety.
Anyway, take a look at the link and the book. HTH.
Sue