Sex and Harry Potter (warning - graphic)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sex and Harry Potter (warning - graphic)
4
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 4:53pm

Yesterday I had a day from H-E-double hockey sticks - a long day at work, not enough accomplished, then rushed home to pick up DS, grab two sandwiches and run out to three consecutive PA meetings (executive board, general PA meeting, planning meeting for next year). These in the non-air conditioned school cafeteria. Then DD called me to ask if I could pick up a few things at the store.

In the end, I got home near 10pm - hot, tired beyond belief, and sticky. I took a cool shower, got into my nightgown, kissed my DH, and climbed into bed - looking forward to reading HP #6 (re-reading to get ready for #7!!). BUT... this was not in the stars.

DD came in to chat - and share the AC for a few minutes. I held onto the hope I might still get some reading done...but that hope evaporated quickly as DD started talking to me about sex (who's done it with whom), BJs (which seem to be the behavior of choice among sexually adventurous kids in her class), the seriousness of "going below the waist" (I almost stopped breathing!), why waiting to be in a relationship is good, and reputations (how they get formed and how exaggerated they become). Oh, also, a little on secrets, and on how if someone does a BJ, only two people know it....until one of them tells...and what would motivate someone to tell....and sometimes it's the girl who tells and sometimes it's the boy.

Two of her close friends are among the more sexually experimenting - she's dismayed at this -partly on how it affects them and their reputations - partly on how it reflects badly on her.

She was in a very chatty mood, so I just listened. I tried to be non-judgmental. I resisted the urge to ask "and how far have you gone?". I shared my opinion that waiting until you're with someone you trust and care about is better. And wondered, with her, how rumors get started and by whom (back to if only two people know, how does it get around the whole grade?). I almost fell into the "kids these days" trap, but remembered that similar things were occurring in my school in 10th/11th grade - making out in parent's basements, some kids going further, and lots of rumors!

And, I totally resisted the urge to say "but all I wanted was to read a few pages of "The Half-Blood Prince"!

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:00pm
Sounds like a great chat, sue - sorry you missed out on your R&R with Harry but it sounds like your dd had a lot on her mind.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 5:13pm
I really admire the way your daughter feels comfortable coming to talk to you about this. I've only had one such conversation with my DD, and it also occurred at a most unexpected time. I believe I was folding the laundry, and of course I dropped everything to sit down with her! Good for you for remaining in "listening mode" and not asking about her own experience. That must have been really hard. OTOH, I think I'd refrain from asking too, just because part of me just doesn't want to know!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:27am

Ya gotta take those heartfelt conversations when they come, and not when they're convenient to you. :D

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 11:01am
Wowie, Sue! My hat's off to you for handling that so well. I probably would have swallowed my teeth. I thinks it's awesome that L can come and talk to you so easily, it speaks volumes of her relationship with you.