Short teenage son

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Short teenage son
34
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 11:13am

I'm concerned for my son. He's 16, went through puberty early (6th grade or so it began). He hasn't grown at all in the last couple of years. He's only 5'6" or MAYBE 5'7". His body is filling out, etc and he's lean and muscular, but he's self consious of his height. Weight 140 or so.

Is he destined to be a short individual (I am 5'3", but his dad is 6'3") or is there the chance he'll grow more later on....my husband says he grew another inch when he was 19 or 20......I think he's fine. He's extrememly handsome (even from a mom's perspective) he's athletic and popular, but I know his height worries him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 7:38pm

I am NOT complaining. As I mentioned, I think my son is wonderful. HE is self consious, HE seems very uptight, and all I was doing was looking for others w/ this experience. My MIL was possibly visiting today (which she did not) and it was on my mind. That is all.

Why is it a big deal to be concerned for my son who is worried?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 9:05pm

From someone who's only 5'1", he's tall. My oldest DD is taller than me and she's not quite 15. Second DD, 12, is only about an inch shorter than me. Their dad was only 5'8. My dad was 5'10, mom 5'0.

Best thing is to get him a good physical, let him speak with a physician who can reassure him about his height and that he's healthy. A doc can speak with him about the supplements he is wanting you to buy. They are most probably not necessary. Just try to gently remind him that he will be what he will be. Height is NOT everything. There are many young ladies who will be shorter than him. And, if he has a taller girl fall for him, jokingly remind him he can enjoy the view. Many women also like facial and body hair. My DH had a beard when I met him, he shaves it off about twice a year. I worked today and he'd shaved it while I was gone. I much prefer him to have it and will be glad when it regrows. I love playing with the bit of chest hair that he has. It may make him feel uncomfortable, as it's probably all new to him, being young. As he gets a little older, he'll likely grow mentally into his new body image. Best thing is to continue to be supportive. And, tell MIL to MYOB! If she can't say anything positive, don't say anything at ALL.

Sallie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 10:04pm

My understanding is that boys continue to grow even until they are 18. And if your husband is 6'3" chances are your son may do some more growing.

However, the issue shouldn't be about how tall he is or will be but that it doesn't really matter. If he is handsome and popular, it doesn't matter. Plenty of admired and successful men are not very tall. A few: Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter films), Tom Cruise, Michael J. Fox, Tobey McGuire (Spiderman films)...I could go on and on.

I saw a formula once that says doctors predict height, for boys, by taking the parents combined heights plus 5 inches and then dividing that total by 2. With that formula it would say your son should be about 5'11" at full maturity but again this is just predictive and I'm sure there are other factors involved as it would mean all siblings would grow up to be the same height and I know that isn't the case.

Anyway, the focus right now should be on ensuring he stays healthy and happy and not worry too much abut his weight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 11:18pm
I think it's natural for our sons to worry when a younger brother surpasses them in height. DS17 recently surpassed DS24, and I know it bothered the older one. But DS24 is doing just fine, has a nice gf, likes his job and has his stuff together, for the most part. We do need to remind them that we all have shortfalls, and if being short is the worst of your son's, then he's in good shape. As OPs have mentioned, many successful men don't hit 5'8" or 5'10". And if any woman says she could never date/marry someone under a certain height, then that is one woman who is not good enough for your DS--it's an easy way to screen out the loser women!!

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 7:43am
My dh was the same way - always the shortest kid in his class. I think it was the summer between JR. & SR. year... he grew! Then he was one of the TALLEST in his class @ 6'2"! 6-7" of vertical grown in one summer gave him kind of a stork-like appearance for a while. (c: He had the longest legs w/ knobby knees... (excuse me while I reminisce - I'm typing here & smiling!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 8:34am

There's every chance your DS may put on a few inches yet, but it's hard to say for sure. J was 17 1/2 when he enlisted in the army, and his height on his first enlistment papers was 5'11". He's now 22 and is 6'2". He had enough body hair and facial hair at 16 that S (who was later to enter puberty and at 22 remains relatively hairless) would call him "the hairy ape" in that roughly affectionate way teenage boys have with their best friends. My DH is 6'2" now, but when we met when he was 20, he was just slightly over 6' - so a lot of guys put on an inch or so after turning 18.

And like others have said, height isn't everything.
Rose

ETA: If he's worried that being short will limit his choice of girls - when he finds the right one, it really isn't going to matter. My DD was always attracted to boys who were a couple of inches taller than she is - which is tough, at 16 she's 5'8". And then she met T... he's MAYBE 1/2 inch taller than she is on a good day, and also self conscious about his lack of height. DD's attitude? "Heels make my feet sore, and are a neck breaking risk anyway!" For the first time in a long time, she's wearing a lot of flat shoes, and is wearing ballet slippers to prom next week - and doesn't mind in the least. She wouldn't have a problem wearing heels around him - she's accomodating his insecurity by wearing flats, even though she likes the look of heels a lot better.




Edited 4/28/2007 8:42 am ET by bunnierose
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 12:18pm

Because worries and concerns about his height translate to your son, even if nothing is "said". Placing importance on a physical attribute that your son cannot change, that you have no control of is not worth the energy. That's why. And your son needs to truly feel that he is perfect just the way he is.

So what if he is 5ft7 or even 5ft5? Many very successful men in this world are under 5ft10. The very fact that it is concern to those around him (tell your MIL to stuff it), the very fact that it is a "question", I find rather strange. As long as he is healthy, eats well and gets enough sleep, that's all you can do. Tall is not better. It is just tall.

Tell you MIL to watch that show on the learning channel about the family of little people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Sat, 04-28-2007 - 2:20pm

Mil has a good heart, but she's one of those people who can be rude with the "I just call it like I see it" type of "honesty". Her adult boys (this is DH stepmother)) are quite short themselves......although I really never paid any attention until someone else brought that up to me.......height makes NO difference to me. I don't think of my son as short (he's taller than me) and I don't even really THINK about it until it is brought up by my son himself or my MIL......we've talked to the doctor, he is within the 'normal' range for his age---although the small end of normal....there is nothing to worry about as far as the doctor says.

I just think it is a SHAME that he worries and that height seems to hold enough importance that it draws the attention of others.....ie MIL......but when I hear my own son who is normally confident and even cocky sometimes show his concern over height to me, it makes me sad......I hate it when others judge on appearance. I'm fat...I worry about how others percieve me ALL THE TIME and it isn't a fun way to live.......I want him to be happy emotionally--

But. crisis was averted when MIL and FIL didn't come for the kids' trackmeets, so my fear of her ONCE AGAIN commenting on it were for naught.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:39am

http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1651/113/640/264706/DSC08207.jpg

here's a link to a photo of the fam....if anyone is interested. DS 16 is in blue, DS 13 is in white. As you can see, DS 16 is taller than me, and his brother (since then, his brother has grown some). He mentioned Saturday that an incident in grade school 'stunted' his growth (he COVERED his pizza one day at a party w/ the hot chili flakes....made him sick as a dog, but I told him it DID NOT stunt his growth). Another example of his concern over this issue. He said he was told he should model but he's too short.....I told him to heck w/ that, that if he's interested in it to pursue it.......I am leery of this practice, though......agencies coming to small communities like ours to see if you child would be good for modeling/acting/catalogs, etc...but YOU have to foot the bill....seems like a scam to me.....

It isn't a very flattering photo of me, (my hair is blowing), but it is good of everyone else--my DH sets up his tripod for our annual Christmas photo of the family----With the exception of my hair (and DS 13 looking sullen) it is my FAVORITE pose we took....I liked the background of the river in our town behind us......

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:54am
Thanks for sharing, shels.
Pam