Should we let him fail? (Long)
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| Wed, 09-13-2006 - 12:23pm |
My 14 yr old stepson's mom signed over custody to my husband and I because she said they were not getting along. He has been with us since the end of July. He has NEVER had rules in her house. We have some issues with everything, but school is one of the major ones. He has never been made to do his homework/school work in his mom's house. The schools "gave" him grades. He has turned in Science Fair projects a couple of weeks late and still gets a C. He took home a English test and returned it the next week and received a B. At any given time, he would have 30 missing assignments. However, he always passed classes (and grades) because he turned in the work the day of the ending of the grade periods. We took these concerns to the teachers/counselors. We were told that sometimes they are generous with the grades and that as long as the students does some of the work, they will give them credit. We have been trying him to make him do his homework. All we suceed in doing is becoming very frustrated. He did okay the first week of school. But now (school has been in about 5 weeks), he doesn't do the work. He recieved a worksheet (exercising and checking pulse), he has to fill his pulse in at weekly intervals for 4 weeks. He did week one after 2 weeks of getting and hasn't worked on it since. He has had it for 3 1/2 weeks. We kept asking and he said "later". Last nite, he was supposed to type a paper summarizing his exercise/food intake. He never started it. When we do get him to do his work, it takes him forever (i.e. 3 hours to copy an one page assignment) We keep telling him that he has to do the work or he will fail. He doesn't believe us. Not only is he in a different school, but also a different district. Should we quit trying to make him do his work(and hopefully this school will not let him slide) and let him fail?
Thanks...
P.S. He does not have any type of learning disabilities. He has been tested. He has also seen a few therapists (in the past). The results: Lack of Discipline in his household.

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I have never been in these shoes and can only imagine what you are dealing with but here's my 2 cents: Peers can have an enormous impact on teens. I'm thinking how my DS is very influenced by older guys on his sports team; he sees them taking the harder classes and talking about college and that has had more of an impact on him that anything we could have said at home. Very hard, I'm sure to try to arrange something like this but maybe if you could encourage him to join the right group it would help turn things around.
I don't think I would let him fail - he's too young and has had too much going on.
Good luck!
I live in Kentucky too....it must be a Kentucky thing.
I lurk here and live in KY also. My oldest DD is 14, just started high school. Starting in middle school last year they changed their policy. If you didn't turn in homework you got a progressively lowered grade but they kept on you to get it turned in. High school this year, they'll take it a day or two late, after that you get detention. This district is apparently pretty heavy on detention for high and middle schools.
Sallie
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