Should you say NO to having druggie BF?
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Should you say NO to having druggie BF?
| Wed, 10-11-2006 - 2:27pm |
Okay, I know that when you tell a teen they SHOULDN"T do something, they will often turn right around and do it? But can you draw the line when there is danger of being arrested? What if your DD wants to date a BF who is a known drug dealer in town? Can you just put your foot down and say No you are not going out with him?
Deb
Deb

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Alot of this would depend on DD's age and the amount of freedom that she has. If she's 18, you can strongly suggest and explain to her all the what could happens. If she's 15, by all means, you can say no. She'll hate you for a while but she'll probably eventually see it was for the best. If you were to say no, then be prepared to face that rebellion that might come. Explain to her in advance what the consequences will be if she sees him. Then be sure to follow through on them.
Good Luck!!
I think you say your dd is 17? While of course you can say no I do think it might backfire. I haven't had any btdt experience, but how about saying she can see him only at your house? That she can't drive with him, or hang out anywhere unsupervised by you or someone you trust - that you care too much about her well being, and that as she has clearly seen, associations do matter. Make certain that you separate the behaviour from the person. I did this once: I told my dd that I don't hate kids who do drugs, I hate the drugs. For once she was silent. I think she really absorbed that.
I really think the counseling is going to do wonders for her. Make sure of course, that she likes she counselor. As others have said, you may have to go through a few. I can only speak from experience and what wonders counseling (even just group counseling) has done for my own dd. She loves her dr. and got to know and like the girls in the group. She can hardly wait for every Tuesday when she goes. I can only imagine the response she would get in group if she were to complain, "My mom won't let me hang out with my bf just because he's a drug dealer." Does that statement sound ridiculous or what? The girls would set her straight in no time. Don't lose hope, perhaps a turn around is right around the corner. I think your dd has just had a "significant emotional event". {{{HUGS}}}
Deb
Deb
Drug dealers are dangerous. I wouldn't even want a known drug dealer in my home. And I wouldn't want my dd dating one and it made known or public that she was his girlfriend.
What if he transacts a deal while she is there and gets arrested? Do you not think she'd be arrested as well as an accessory?
What if he has some difficulty that leads to violence and she is around?
And this is over and above the moral and ethical issues with dealing drugs and making money off of someone else's pain and suffering.
I'm sure you know all this stuff but has your daughter considered these things? If she really likes this guy and he feels the same way she should tell him she can't handle his illegal activities and see if he likes her well enough to give them up. If he doesn't then she should take that as a sign that he's not the one for her.
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