Shouldn't there be some punishment?
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 06-08-2003 - 8:03pm|
To keep from being too long, I'm going to dive right in. :) Thanks in advance for listening and any advice. A few months ago (around 3rd quarter report card time), I (and I swear - completely by accident) came across an online journal my sister kept. In it, I read about how she had made up a fake report card, failed two classes, been drinking, and going to co-ed slumber parties, among other things. She's 14, by the by, and just finished her freshman year in high school.
Anyway, I told my mom about the report card - nothing else - and not how I had found out, just that it may be a good idea to call the school and have another one sent - and sure enough, 2 Fs, and just barely passed her other classes. She was grounded for the rest of the school year (no phone, computer, or going out and had to do chores around the house) and the extension of her grounding would depend on her report card at the end of the year. (Keep in mind by time they actually found out about the report card, there was only about 3 weeks left of school.) So she got her final report card two weeks ago - still failed two classes, technically didn't get promoted to 10th grade, and just barely raised some of her other grades. She's a very smart girl - and the fact that one of the classes she failed was GYM says a lot (she won't change for class, pure laziness, nothing else).
Which brings me up to present (sorry this is so long, there's just a lot that needs to be added). Since there is no summer school program down here, she can't make up the classes and has to do it at some point over the next 3 years, but the thing I don't understand is - my parents don't care. They've made no attempt to continue her punishment, she gets on the computer and phone whenever she wants. Now, my father thinks she's still punished (but he works 60+ hours a week and we really only see him for late dinners and a few hours on his days off). But my mother has been letting her go out all day, every day, with her boyfriend and other friends, and is keeping that information from my dad.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not "jealous" of this (my parents were beyond strict with me - no dating until 16 (and even then I think I only ever went on ONE date until I was a senior), if I got lower than a B on any report card, I was grounded for weeks, etc, etc. I have TONS of resentment - I'm the first to admit that - and because of the way I was raised have serious emotional, mental, and relationship issues (most of which they have no clue about). Yes I am the oldest, and she is the youngest and I know that works much differently.
So I guess my question is really this - aren't they just teaching her that it really doesn't matter what she does because obviously they aren't going to enforce anything? They don't know she's been drinking, out all night with boys unsupervised, and probably having sex. I am currently living with them and I see all that is going on, and anytime I comment, my mom basically just tells me to shut up and mind my own business. I don't really have a good relationship with any of them, so I'm kind of stuck in the middle - I know that being as strict as they were with me was a mistake - but I'm thinking this looseness is even worse. Any help or suggestions? Thanks!