SIGH - is anyone still here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
SIGH - is anyone still here?
23
Sat, 12-14-2013 - 4:59pm

I still check this board faithfully a few times a day even though my youngest will be 24 in March. Just far enough away from today's teens that I'm having a hard time trying to come up with new topics. Even though I gave up the CL position 3 years ago when Justin turned 20 - this board is still near and dear to my heart. As far as I can tell the 'enhancements' they made a year or more ago have pretty much closed the boards down. I've been on Ivillage for probably 15 years (before it was Ivillage) and made many cyber friends here. If any of you want to keep in touch in other ways send me a PM either with your email or Facebook link (I'm a huge FB gal). My email should be in my profile. I'll still continue to check the board til the bitter end but just in case....

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 12-16-2013 - 2:25pm

I started posting when it was still ParentsPlace and I needed pregnancy advice. I think a lot of people have either aged out or they find it too difficult to log in and navigate the site. And to be honest, I've also noticed a lot more trashy boards with explicit stuff that I find useless, so maybe that's how iVillage is chasing us "mature" moms away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Mon, 12-16-2013 - 10:18pm

Mom_UK2social, this is just a guess, so I could be totally incorrect. Part of the posting problem may be that the system limits the number of characters that you can dump into the QUICK REPLY button posting; whereas the REPLY button allows for longer texts with more characters. If this is the correct reason it is just an accident that I am correct. LOL

WOW Threebigboyz1lilgal, 11 pounds 3 ounces. BIG BOY!!!! C-section birth? Very common with babies that size.

The bald headed ones are the best!!!!

Fatherhood has an effect on the young man—a good effect.

I saw a bumper snicker the other day, “Grandchildren are GOD’S reward for not killing your kids.” Another is, “Great mom’s get promoted to grandma.” Congratulations to you Grandma. LOL

I hope you got video of Chris changing diapers the first time. LOL We have them of both SILs the first time with our oldest grandson. What a hoot!!!! A priceless video that gets better every year and keeps giving.

(Another hoot this year was the call I got for dad after this buck wondered in front of our deer hunters with youngest SIL being the shooter. He and oldest SIL had a long discussion before the buck figured things out and took off. Dad said it was like a death penalty case being argued before the Supreme Court. “Kimmy, your family will be starving to death before either of these guys will pull the trigger.” That’s my boys! LOL Our guys go for male bonding and to play cards at the Resident Inn after dark.)

If I recall correctly, the law school where our youngest SIL was considering taking the couples to, and where he sent two students to last year, is currently merging with Western Michigan University. That merging into a state university system seems to be a trend in the law school business.

After reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book, David and Goliath, not getting into your first pick can be a really lucky break. (Especially if Greg finds the “love of his life” at one of the other picks.) A chapter in the book is about the mismatch of some students that crushes them. NOT GOOD!

Another section in Gladwell’s book is about the “advantages of disadvantages” and the “disadvantages of advantages.” Part of that is about the struggles toughening up the kid for future successes. All those painful years for my SILs, when one was struggling with mild Dyslexia and the other with mild Asperger’s Syndrome, worked to their advantage. This somewhat jived with what Dr. Mel Levine said in his book, A Mind at a Time, where he talked about the early struggles working to the kid’s advantage in those out years. This is somewhat like hatching chicks in that the struggle of the chick in getting out of the shell is very important to their ultimate survival.

Well SuzyK2118, your son’s “love of his life” might be 14 now and he will be most glad that he waited for her. This gives him time for grad work, getting his career going, doing some things he could not do otherwise, etcetera. We have friends within our circle who have that age spread, youngest SILs parents for one couple. Or he may marry a gal 6 years older, and we know a couple of those who are most happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Mon, 12-16-2013 - 10:31pm
Thanks for the suggestion Kimmy - ironically I chose the regular reply over the quick reply specifically because I know I tend to ramble lol

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Mon, 12-16-2013 - 10:35pm
Elizabeth - had to lol when I read this because I could say the exact same about both my boys! 19 and 22yo - especially the 19, the older one just got rehired after being let go after 1.5 years - we will see how long that lasts 'I'm trying to be supportive, but he has no ambition and no discernible goals'

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 12-17-2013 - 1:47am

Since they are closing Ivillage after the first of the year, it seems somewhat pointless, but I do meander over occasionally.  And, as Ash mentioned, the sleaziness of the posts that IV chooses to flag is off-putting.  Ivillage was for WOMEN when it started.  That, along with a whole lot else, got lost along the way.

Anyway, KIMMY, Rae is not due till 4/11.  We found out we are getting another granddaughter!!  And according to her mother, who seems to have exploded in the bump department, she is a champion swimmer.  Left to right, right to left, doing a few frog squats...  Perhaps trying to communicate via morse code, on her mother's bladder. 

They are getting married in a small civil ceremony on Valentine's Day.  They still have the deposit down on the Morton Arboretum for next October, and have whittled the guest list from 180 to 140--40 of which are ours.  Rae does agree with us that it's an unnecessary expense, but so far, Ant is adamant.  We shall see how he feels once the baby is born, especially if Rae does not find a new job.  Their dime, their decision.  A destination wedding is out of the question, because the whole point is that he wants his extended family and friends to participate in a beautiful wedding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 12-17-2013 - 8:34am
They're closing Ivillage after the first of the year? That means the boards won't even be here anymore? If that's the case - anyone that wants to stay in touch please send me a pm with your email address or Facebook info. I'd hate to just wake up one morning and not have a way to communicate with you guys!
Pam
Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 12-17-2013 - 10:04am
I'm around, but I've been extremely busy with work, the kids and the holidays. I do check the boards at least once most days, but if its a really busy day, I don't.
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Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 12-17-2013 - 2:49pm

https://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser/ivillage-to-be-shuttered-as-standalone-site-folded-into-today-com_b204887

http://www.mediapost.com/publications/article/214159/nbcu-to-fold-ivillage-into-todaycom.html

Don't know how you missed this, Pam. Since the existing Today.com website looks like an on-line People magazine, and there are NO other forums, I can't see how the IV message boards would fit. I suspect they will disappear once the IV segment shows up on Today.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 12-18-2013 - 9:41am

Hi ladies,

We haven't been told that the boards will be closing after the first of the year.  We are operating as business as usual and will be sure to update you all as soon as we hear anything.   I hope you all have a good Christmas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Thu, 12-19-2013 - 11:40pm

Sabrtooth, I had to chuckle about the bump and swimmer. When daughter was in a family way, I recall calling a wedding dress shop asking, “How long can you fit a pregnant bride into a wedding dress, without it showing.” “If it’s the first pregnancy, almost all of the brides under three months will not show. It gets iffier during the fourth month, especially with the form fitting dresses. Gets more challenging with each week after that forth month, but we have some dresses for those in the last trimester that flair out. Second child is a little more difficult after three months. And if it’s your daughter, relax mom; it’s almost respectable nowadays.” I asked how she knew and with a chuckle she said “BTDT with a daughter and we get calls like this from mothers several times a week.”

I hear you on that cost of wedding issue. We got off extremely easy by doing a “destination wedding” and the six parents and two couples had a mostly stress free vacation, with a total cost not much more than the cost of a vacation. However, this is not always doable when the bride or the other family wants the traditional wedding and reception. And a wedding is a merger of families, so you try to accommodate where possible. In some faiths it’s important for it to be done in the faith. I went to the wedding of a coworker who had been married for years, whose kids were teens, when she and hubby married with a Catholic priest. It was important to them and their family to do so.

This wedding a couple of weeks ago that the SILs were groomsmen in was one of those “shotgun weddings” between the daughter and the son of two major partners where they work part time. The groom was one of those students that our youngest SIL had suggested going to a lesser law school when he was rejected by the better schools. He passed on that idea the first year after college, but ended up joining our couples the next year. He is 25 with the bride being 18. It seems that the two had been secretly dating for several months. Our couples knew nothing about the dating until the guy shared the situation with them and they suggested that they speak to the parents quickly. When the parents found out, they also found out that our couples knew. The phones were a ringing down at the Residence Inn that November evening while the guys were at the annual deer hunt. LOL

After getting all the facts, when emotions had had time to subside, Butch’s dad explained to both fathers that our couples did not know they were dating until the guy was asking how to tell the parents, with Butch being an expert on that subject having done it once. Having had time to think with his wife, listen to the couple wanting to get married, the father of the girl shared the impossibility of putting together a large wedding prior to Christmas, while the girl would still look good in a wedding dress, the desire of the parents and the girl to have a traditional wedding, etcetera. All the nonsense that is a part of humanity.

The following Monday, Butch’s dad was speaking with a client whose daughter had been in a major fender bender and sustained broken bones in both legs that would leave her in a wheel chair for several months, which would force the postponement of her wedding with lots of nonrefundable fees gone, but the dad was grateful for the situation as it was. Butch’s dad told him that he might know of some parents that would be very interested in buying that wedding package—venue, cake, bride and groom on top of the cake, catering, musicians, flowers, photographer, videographer, everything, except for the groom, invitations, dresses, and the minister, priest, or rabbi. This wedding had been put together by people with money to spend and picked up by people with money to spend. Two sets of WINNERS in that business transaction and I have been told a very beautiful wedding.

One thing these two have going for them is that they come from financially well off households which can insulate them from the financial stresses that most young couples have to face. But, like all couples they will have to make it last.

Sabrtooth, when that grandbaby gets here, be sure to have the video running when the new father changes the first diaper. Priceless!!!