Sneaky Smoking

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Sneaky Smoking
15
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 2:28pm
I will try to make this quick. My DSD 16 is in town (lives with BM in another state) for 3 weeks. My DH and I both Smoke (yucky). Tofay I left the house with my DS to take him to my mothers while I went to work. I got halfway there and forgot something, so i had to turn around. I came back home and immediately smelled (newely put out) ciggarette somke in the garage. I didn't say anything, I just went back out to the garage and found that she (DSD) had taken 2 cigs (about 3/4 of the way smoked) out of the ashtray and put them 'aside' (prob. for later). I put the cigs back in the ashtray and dumped it into the outside garbage cans. I called my DH on the way to work and told him. We both agreed that although we both smoke, that we do not condone this behavior in our home. My dh said that he thought that DSD's bm lets her smoke. My dh also said that he would speak to her when he got home from work today. My other issue is that I have a DSS 14 (DSD's brother) who lives with us full time, to our knowledge he does not smoke, but now I am begining to wonder. If he see's his big sister doing it then why wouldn't he? (he is easily persuaded!) So In your honest opinion what would you do/ say to DSD?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 12:51pm

Two Examples:
In Mississippi where I live, we have:
Title 97, Chapter 32, Article 9
“Juvenile purchase, possession and consumption of tobacco.”

In Tennessee there is:
Title 39, Chapter 17, Part 1505
“Prohibited purchases or possession by minors”

The penalties can be anywhere from a fine to seeing a judge in juvenile court. Arrest? No, probably not.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 1:42pm
Same here in Texas. I couldn't find it exactly, but I'm pretty sure a minor can have their driving lisence suspended for awhile if caught with tobacco.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 4:49pm

In Texas the Law is:
Health and Safety Code, Chapter 161, Sections 161.252-161.254
"Possession by a Minor/Awareness Class"

161.252 crime "possesses, purchases, consumes, or accepts a cigarette or tobacco product" and punishment "An offense under this section is punishable by a fine not to exceed $250."

161.253 Requires the minor and in some cases parents to attend a tobacco awareness class.

161.254 Requires drivers license suspension if class is not completed (up to 180 days)

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 5:03pm

Ah. :) I knew it was something like that.

Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 6:57pm

A few thoughts jump out at me.

First, you both smoke so going to be kind of hypocritical to tell her she can't smoke because its bad for her.

Now, I know that the arguement could be made that as adults you make your own decisions in these matters but she's too young to do so. You also, as adults, have sex, drive and take the occasional drink. Telling your kids they can't do the same things is about asking them to be older and more aware of the full responsibility of those actions before engaging in them. Its not hypocritical -- its protecting them from stuff they may not be ready to deal with yet.

But with smoking there's a further complication. All legal issues aside, smoking is dangerous to her health and YOUR health. And even if she doesn't smoke, I hope that you aren't smoking around her and exposing her to second hand smoke. Because then any arguement about health consequences and how it might stunt her growth go out the window. And given that I saw my father in law who smoked for 40 years have a lung removed due to cancer and watched his kids worried sick about him, for her sake as well I hope you quit. So that you can continue to be around to be good parents for her.

But now I want to inject a little reality...when I was a teen I smoked. I smoked until I was 18 and met by boyfriend and we both decided we hated kissing each other when we tasted like ashtrays so we stopped smoking. My dad smoked at the time so sneaking a smoke was pretty easy when the whole house reaked of cigarette smoke. It was something I experimented with for a few years. If my parents would have found out they would have FREAKED OUT... and I knew that ... and yet I regularly did it even when they were home sneaking up to upstairs bathrooms and opening the window to let the smoke out...

If she's smoking forbidding her won't be enough regardless of whether or not you smoke. Like all smokers she'd have to be motivated on her own to quit. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't forbid her from smoking in your home...as long as you realize that with you both smoking its going to be hard to find a good argument.

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