So when they turn 18??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
So when they turn 18??
26
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 10:55am

Can someone please clarify me on what suddenly happens when your kids turn 18? It seems from different threads I've read over the past few months that the kids then have rights that their parents have no control over. I never went through that rebellious stage unfortunately, so I continued to defer to my parents at least until I was through college (and I started college well before I turned 18). I know kids can't legally drink until they're 21. Are they legally allowed to do everything else when they're 18? Even if they're still in high school and financially dependent on their parents?


I'm not being argumentative--I just want to know because I have less than 2 years till my oldest turns 18!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:18pm
As a high school teacher, I OFTEN hear 18 year old students saying "You can't tell my parents if I'm skipping (not doing my homework...getting suspended...or whatever) because I'm an adult". Guess what? In most cases, the parents are the ones supporting the kid and paying for their education - so they absolutely do have a right to know all that stuff. I haven't yet met too many kids willing to move out and lose all that support (especially when they are still in high school) in order to assert their legal independence. I even have one student who currently IS living on his own, but his mom is paying for school so she still gets the regular updates!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:57pm
Thanks to everyone who replied! I love this board--where else can you get such a fast answer to a question like that?! I guess it just points out the importance of nurturing a good relationship w/ your children all along, so hopefully they don't play that "I'm an adult" card the minute they turn 18. Of course, there are situations beyond our control that can make that difficult sometimes. Gee, I had no idea I had all those rights when I turned 18! I wonder what could have happened had I known! LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 2:08pm

Hey Lisa,


I think you said it even better because you added the fact of letting them begin to spread their wings :)

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 2:42pm

I won't go into all the legalities of a kid turning 18.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 3:09pm

Like you, I had a pretty strong rebellious streak in me when I was a teen - but it was pretty deeply buried by fear of my dad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 5:38pm

They can here. They have to give their parents permission to see their report cards.
They can sign themselves out of classes. Parents no longer sign permission slips.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 5:53pm


If, by 18, the student still has to be monitored to do their homework then IT IS TOO LATE.
If, at 18, the kid is being suspended then there is much more going wrong here. If the kid is not attending classes, THEY FAIL. PERIOD.

Here, kids are in the last few months of their high school career at 18. If they haven't learned that fact of life, by 18, no amount of parental hand holding or micro-managing will make any difference. That should have happened years earlier.

You have to start treating them like adults sometime. The safety net of childhood has to pulled sometime.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 6:17pm
You make a good point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 9:00pm

My poor kids....lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 9:22pm



"If, by 18, the student still has to be monitored to do their homework then IT IS TOO LATE.
If, at 18, the kid is being suspended then there is much more going wrong here. If the kid is not attending classes, THEY FAIL. PERIOD.


Here, kids are in the last few months of their high school career at 18. If they haven't learned that fact of life, by 18, no amount of parental hand holding or micro-managing will make any difference. That should have happened years earlier.


You have to start treating them like adults sometime. The safety net of childhood has to pulled sometime. "