some semi-good news about my son...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
some semi-good news about my son...
14
Sun, 04-30-2006 - 10:45am

well i have 'talked' here about my ds (almost 20...) and his issues. he has been out of a 'normal' framework for about 6 months - no school or work, he has been seeing a therapist and we are in touch with a psychologist (who isn't so great), he was on meds but is off them now, he has been exercising and generally 'getting better',but it really bothered me that he doesn't have some kind of normative life, friends, framework - some 'reason' to get up and out of the house in the morning.

anyway, we have been having several discussions, and i also met with his therapist - because i felt that he was 'stuck and needed help to move on. and i told him that he needs to do "something" - either get a job, or volunteer, or take some kind of classes (or a combination). anyway, this morning he went to his library (the library where he takes out books, ) and 'volunteered' to help them (they are renovating), and at first they said that they were set up, but then they agreed. i was so excited ----- it doesn't matter really how much he will do this, but i was so excited that he did this, did it on his own, and will actually start to get back to life.

I must admit that i was in the mall when he called me, and tears just sprung to my eyes. its been so long since he has done "anything".

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Sun, 04-30-2006 - 12:05pm

I am so happy for you and your son! Nice to see he did this on his own.

I happened to read one of my son's emails by accident to the ex-girlfriend that brought him down to such a depression. Yes, unfortuantely they are still keeping in touch by the looks of things. DOesnt impress me but what can I do. Anyway, in the email he said to her how "easy" he had it at home, that he didnt have to work, go to school or anything, just do what he wants. And then on his My Space profile he puts in the description "I hate to work". Well, you can imagine how that made me feel! Now, I'm thinking he's definitely playing me and taking advantage. Things are going to change big time as soon as he turns 18 in 2 months. No more free ride.

I also realized he was in bad need of socks so I went out and bought him a 3 pack at our local supermarket. Well, when I brought them home he looks at them and says sarcastially, Oh, great, crappy generic socks. I was really hurt and told him until he's working and buying his own, I wouldnt complain.

Anyway, enough of my ongoing saga. I am thrilled that your son is making progress! The fact that he loves to read is fantastic!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Sun, 04-30-2006 - 4:36pm

That is great news - it's been a long road, and maybe he's inching his way out of the rut. And he did it on his own - not somethign that someone else found for him!

(((HUGS)))

Sue

Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 8:37am

sk, that is so awesome! I'm so happy he's making decisions on his own in a positive way.

yeah!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 10:01am

Congratulations! I wonder what made him decide to choose the library - was it convenient, does he like books, does he have a friend there, does he like the construction, etc. I think that might be the key to getting him out more. Without pushing, try to get him to talk to you about what he did during the time he was there, did he enjoy it, what didn't he like, etc.

Good Luck and I hope he had a good day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 12:37pm

thanks everyone.

I am trying to just take this one step at a time. I am happy that he is doing this on his own and I hope this will be the first step for HIM. the reason he chose the library is because he loves reading and libraries - he always has.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 2:05am

wellllll

DS went off for his first day of volunteering. he was excited about it, although he wouldn't admit it. came into my room last night for a 'chat', trying to figure out what time he needs to get up in order to be there on time.

needless to say that i barely slept last night.....

then i woke up early, and decided to make him a stack of pancakes (remember that scene in pleasantville??). and he comes into the kitchen with an empty plate and laughed - he had gotten up early and had breakfast (a breakfast that only a teen/young adult male could have ----- rice and oven-fried chicken)

and he was off.... i don't know how long this 'project' will last, i imagine its just a few days, but its "something".

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 12:58pm

That is sooo awesome and hey, thats a nutitious breakfast if not a typical one-beats a candy bar!

I know what it feels like to see those genuine smiles too! Priceless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sun, 05-07-2006 - 1:45pm

If you're crying happy tears over this in the mall, you aren't "semi-happy" sk, you is jumpin for joy!! This might not seem like a big thing to a lot of people, but when the kid has been pretty much been a mushroom for months, the fact that he's making a step forward is a GREAT thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:14am

of course you are right, rose - i think what i mean is that this IS great news because it IS a giant step for HIM. but i am looking at the 'big picture' also, and he is almost 20, and has no life. and i know ---- it is enormous for him to do THIS and he did it on his own and i am bursting with pride and happiness ....


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 7:16am

thanks for the good words...


as for the breakfast - he always says to me that its a protein and carbs and its no different than eating a cheese sandwich. can't argue with that....

Pages