Something about teen son bothers me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Something about teen son bothers me
9
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 5:38pm

I am new to this board. We have a teen son who is 17 to be turning 18 the end of March. Oh we have had some issues with him over the years. To start he is ADD and currently on the meds for that. Then it would of been a year in late September 2006 when our son got all our computers taken away by the feds. We really never found out exactly what he did. Although he was not prosecuted for anything. They said as long as nothing on his computer showed he done wrong things. He had been online chatting with people. They'd instant message each other. Like many teens do with their buddies. I'd ask who these online buddies were. He'd say oh just a few he met online. Someone was showing him some new programming skills. How to program in some other something language. I let it be. Figuring ok I guess it's ok to be learning some new computer skills. Our son is a genious on the computer. Can repair and build computers. Knows a lot about how they work, programming and all that. Our son had his own computer that was built with parts that my bil either gave us when he upgraded his computer or were left after dh upgraded our computer. I even got our son his own printer. Then he could do his homework in his room uninterupted.

Then that day late September 2005. I had off of work. I went out shopping. Came home in the afternoon. Went in our room to watch tv. Dh was on his computer putzing around. I hear someone knocking loudly on the door. I got up. Go to the living room. Yell across the room I'm coming Whoes there. The feds then barreled in quickly. Held assault riffles on me. I stood there scared unable to move. They yell put your arms out. Then sit down. Ah ah what did we do. Why are you here. I'm crying in fear. They said we can't tell you yet. Get some shoes on and lets go outside. I walk over to my desk in the living room. Was going to bend down for a pair of flip flops that were underneath a bag on the floor. They thought I was reaching for a gun or weapon. I said my sandles are under this bag. They move the bag over and let me slip them on. They find dh in the back room on his computer. He was sitting there in his bathrobe. Dh is disabled with MS. He does not work now due to the MS. They told dh to get up and go outside. Dh had a hard time standing up. So the feds yanked him out of his chair. Rushing him out on to the porch. The made him sit in a chair there. Then had me sit in the back of a squad car. I asked this woman cop. What we did. She says Oh we can't say. But we're here for your son. I said what did he do. They said we can't tell you all of it. But he was online with some people. And a crime was comitted that was world wide. Huh? I see them haul our son out the back door in cuffs. To this day I never found out what our son did online. Oh dh got his computer back and I my palm pilot and other stuff of ours they took. Dh also got back some DVDs of stuff he downloaded. Our son did not get his computer back. They tell us dh and I did not comitt any crime. But have to investigate our son for his involment if any in this crime. To this date we have not heard anything. Just an officer from our city police did say based on what our son told them during the interrogation. He may not of known a crime was being comitted. That the people he was online with used his computer to secretely send stuff back and forth from. This programming stuff our son was supposedly learning from his online buddies.

I asked our son what he did. He wouldn't say much. I think the feds told him if he tells us or anyone he'd be in hot water. But from bits and pieces he did say. Someone or someones was doing identity theft. They must of stole credit cards or something. When they took our computer stuff from the house. I told the feds. I found a 60 gig IPOD with our sons things. It has his first name engraved on it. That when I went to the online IPOD store. It did not list a 40 gig IPOD. It listed a 20 gig for like 200 and something and a 60 gig one for 400 and something. So this one cost somewhere in between. I said I confiscated it from our son. He does not know I have it. They ask where it is. Said I can get it for you. They said no. I said well it's in the right pocket of a cream color winter coat hanging in the front hallway. That's where it's been for a couple months now. They get it. I said I or dh did not buy it for him. We can't afford things like that for him. They take it with the other stuff. Said they'd see where it came from. But when dh and I got our stuff back. They gave back the IPOD. I didn't know they did. It was in one of the boxes of dh's and my stuff. Of course I did not tell our son. I put it back in the same pocket of the same jacket I had it in before.

Our son has had impulsive behavior. That is probably the ADD. He has had issue in 9th and 10th grade. Was suspended a few times. 11th grade he started chaping up behavior wise in class. He is a senior now. To graduate in June. He is very smart. Could be a straight A student if he applied himself. But at least is not failing anything. He has had nothing lower than a C. so far this year.

Today I went up to our sons room. I had gone shopping earlier. I bought him some t shirts. I go up to lay them on the chair in his room. I see his wallet on the floor. I open it. Wondering if it was the same wallet he kept his temps driver lisence in. It was. Then sticking up I see a bus or train card pass for the Chicogo. It said CTA Transit Chicogo on it. Said pass was good till May 15 of 2008. I don't know if that pass still has money value on it for rides. how did he get it. Who paid for it. How much money in rides was on that card. I go to the web site listed on the card. There was no way of finding out what value that card has. I put his wallet back on his desk where he could see it. I took the CTA transit card. I was hoping to find out about it. If there is money on it for rides. I don't know how I can ask our son about it. What was he thinking on doing in Chicogo. Who was he going to see there. Or how did he get that card. There is a 800 number on back. I think I will call it later. See if it is like a gift card to a store. Where you can call the 800 number. Punch in the numbers on back. It tells you how much is on the card. Dh and I do not know anyone who lives in Chicogo or any part of Illinois for that fact. I haven't even told dh I found that card. Dh would think it's nothing to worry about. That why did I take it. Well our son has done things before that were decieving to me. I just don't trust him as much as I'd like to. I just worry he could be doing things that are not ok to do. I don't want to see him getting into trouble he can't get out of. He's very smart almost to the gifted point according to the psychologist who he seen a while for his ADD. He could be doing all these good things with his life. Why ruine it by getting in trouble.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2008
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 10:48pm
You might want to check out the ADHD board also.
When the "feds" came into your home did yu see ID? Or a warrant? I would contact an attorney about that.
As far as your child, I would call the number on the card, find out what it is for, and confront him about it. Oh, I would also make sure he was NEVER online in my home again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 10:18am
Yeah they flashed ID and all that. Of course our son will be 18 in March. At that point there won't be a lot we can do. Anyways he could go online and other places for free. No one would know that. If dh and I had to leave the house. There is no knowing if he went on the computer or not. He is smart enough to delete the histories and all that. So there would be no traces of where he went if he did. Dh does not feel a security password is needed to get on his computer. On my lap top I have it securited up. You need to know the password etc. to get in. And it is password protected when the computer goes into screen saver. So he'd need to know the password if my computer is on and in screen save. I contacted the number on the card. I got a voicemail. I left a message for them to get back to me about this card. When they call back. And I get my information I was looking for. I will then confront our son. Saying what do you think you have to do in Chicogo. Not even mentioning the card first. If he plays dumb like what are you talking about. I will tell him I found a CTA card for the Chicogo trains and bus system. That I already contacted them to find out if that pass had any value and when it was purchased and possibly by who. So you can be honest and upfront now. Or when CTA contacts me back with my info. I will know what was up. And I know he was not going down there to look at colleges. He's got his heart set on staying near home for college. I looked at all out going and in coming phone calls to our house. There were none from anywhere in Illinois. We have Vonage for phone. So I go to their web site and look up my account. It tells me all calls placed and recieved for any given time frame I tell it to look up. The same goes with our cell phones. I can get a print out of all calls in or out in any given time frame. Also will give a print out of all text messages in or out for either phone. The phones are in my name. So anything with the account has to go through me. Our son cannot change nothing on his phone. It's more of something for him to call home from a school event saying he needs a ride home. Or if he is out with his buddies. I can check up on him at anytime. Dh doesn't think this is a big issue. I'm like he got feds to take the computers. So now what is he up to. Dh will not question our son. So I guess I have to be the one to do it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 10:20am

This all sounds a bit odd to me. Last I looked we don't live in a military state so how could ANYONE even if they claim to be federal agents come into your home, not provide you any details, warrants or information and take away property where a minor was involved and you still know nothing about it?!

Something tells me you know more than you are writing but choose not to tell us...that's okay...I can understand that. But I'd get a lawyer if you don't already have one...

You ask how could someone with so much apparent skills choose to turn their expertise towards something criminal instead of something more worthwhile? Gosh...if we could answer that question we would be able to figure out all the world's problems eh?

Why does ANYONE turn to crime when they could do something honestly?

For the challenge perhaps? Because they like the rush of doing something wrong? Because they are lazy and want to get rich quick? Because they are just plain bad and there's no real explanation? You know, sometimes we look for alot of reasons but there are none.

If he's been doing something illegal, do not support him. Do not give him another computer. Do not trust him with ANYTHING. If this is true obviously the boy has poor judgement. Don't be one of those parents where a kid is taken away for doing something horrible and everyone asks "Where were his parents? How could they not know what he was up to?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 11:22am
I have the warrent copy. It does not go into details of the crime comitted. It is all legal all that. Oh the CTA in chicogo just emailed me. Said if I give them the numbers on that card. They'd look it up for me. See what info they could find. I explained to them I was a concerned parent worried our son could be planning something that could get him in trouble or be dangerous. That email came 10 minutes ago. I immediately replied back with the info on back of the card. So I sit on my computer waiting for a second response. Hopefully it comes soon and before our son gets home from school. Then I will be able to decide how to confront our son based on what CTA tells me. If the card has no value. Then who knows why our son had it in the first place. But if it shows any value. Then I got to come right out and ask him why he was planning to go to Chicogo. If he says he wasn't. I'll tell him I found the card. That they say it's worth this much is fares. And this is who purchased it with this method of payment. Was purchased on this date etc. etc. So tell me what is up. See what he says. Our son has been pretty good at school since the conmputer incident and the feds. His grades are ok. He could do more but doesn't put enough effort in it. But he has gotten nothing lower than a C this year. A couple A's B's and C's. He is in AP classes mostly this year. The ones that earn you college credit if you pass the test. He does not go out much in the evenings. He hangs in his room. At least I know where he is at. He goes out when it's pep band night or he has a music lesson. But has not been hanging at friends houses lately. He talks on the phone to them that is it. No our son does not have my full trust yet again. He gets mad at me about that. I said well this computer incident is a major thing. It will take me a long time to get over this. Although he has had some calls about college. One college he is seriously thinking about has been calling him regular to get him to submitt his application etc. They must see a potential in him for their university. He's talked about Engineering and doing Air Force ROTC. Then when college is done. He hopes to join the Air Force. After college you can join up as a officer of some sort. The pay is better etc. etc. So maybe he is changing his life around. Then again maybe not totally.


Edited 1/19/2007 11:33 am ET by carolwood

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:05pm
This whole story just makes me thankful that I have monitoring software on all of our computers so I can see exactly what my kids do on the computer. I'd put monitoring software on your computers so you can see all. Your password lock outs are easily circumvented.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:41pm

Certainly you have discovered enough things that are suspicious and cause for concern. It does seem likely that your DS is participating in illegal activity over the web.

I find it odd that the 'feds' -- as you call them, I'm assuming they were the local police? if they put you in a squad car? -- aren't being more forthcoming with you on why they raided your home, took your personal possessions, plus took your DS away in handcuffs. Even though he is very close to turning 18, he still is not, nor was he when this event took place. He is still a minor and you, as his mother are entitled to know what he is suspected of.

Like other have said, I feel you need to be consulting an attorney.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 4:30pm

doing Air Force ROTC. Then when college is done. He hopes to join the Air Force. After college you can join up as a officer of some sort. The pay is better etc.

I'm in agreement with other posters, first off I'd recommend getting a good attorney. If something actually comes from the warrant, (and it can as various illegal activities have different statutes of limitations, some even for years) he can kiss any hope of federal clearance good-bye. If he's doing illegal activity, you can pretty well bet that the military is going to be seeing his records. And, they aren't probably going to want someone who's been previously engaged in illegal activities safeguarding or using important information. A good attorney would at least help you determine just WHAT it was all about.

Good luck!!

Sallie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 12:56am

You didn't mention how your son reacted to the Feds showing up. I'm sure if you call up the Feds they will be more than happy to give you a copy of their policies and procedures.

If the govnt has reason to believe that there is illegal activity occuring in your home, the Patriot Act gives them the right to enter your home with or without your permission, whether you are home or not. This is how America protects its nation. Guilty until proven innocent.

I am glad that you are cooperating with the feds. They'll get to the bottom of it.
An attourney??? What for?
Have you had your son tested for Aspergers? Many are being misdiagnosed with ADD when they really have something else. Symptoms are very simillar to ADD. These kids range from genius to average, that's why it is so hard to diagnose. By 2010 1 in 6 children will be diagnosed with some sort of Autism. There is help out there for him. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 7:14am
Oh he was scared. I could see the look in his face when they took him out the back door.