Sometimes I hate teenagers!!!!

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sometimes I hate teenagers!!!!
8
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 9:20pm
At least it isn' my own teen that I am so mad at!!!
Here's the story. Kelsie has (had now) a friend Amy who was dating E, she broke up with him to date another guy, the other guy went off to college and broke up with him, Amy and E get back together and so on and so on....over and over the same thing. Finally when the guy comes home this summer and she breaks up with E again he says that's it, no more Amy. Kelsie had become good friends with E and they both kind of liked each other and flirted with going out with one another. Well to make a long story short, E ended up back with Amy and Kelsie was hurt. She and E were talking but lately they have only been arguing with one another.
The other evening Amy calls Kelsie and asks her where E is. Kelsie told her she didn't know and actually doesn't really care where he is.
Last night we had friends and family over for cake for Jaryd's birthday. Almost everyone was gone, when Kelsie came out and told us that Amy has been spreading rumors about her. When everyone was gone I spoke with Kelsie and Amy has been telling people that Kelsie has been sleeping around this summer and has infact had sex with several different guys. She hasn't had sex with anyone yet! 4 different friends called and texted her to tell her that this was being said and that they knew it wasn't true, but others wouldn't. Kelsie was so upset, as you can well imagine. She was in tears and doesn't know what to do. She just told me, yes her friends know who she is and know it isn't true, but she doesn't want the reputation that she is a slut!
The one gal that called her is a girl that she doesn't hardly talk to anymore, she sleeps around, drinks, smokes the whole 9 yards. She just said "Kelsie you don't have to tell me anything, but Amy is telling everyone that you have been sleeping around with a lot of guys this summer. It doesn't sound like something you would do and I thought you should know." Kelsie told her it wasn't true and this girl seemed relieved.
I don't know what to tell her. She isn't sure what to do, does she tell Amy that she heard what she is doing and she needs to stop? Or does she just ignore it and know that the ones who really count know better? Will saying something to Amy just give her what she wants and end up in an argument? Will it really make a difference if she says anything, or will it just fuel the fire and keep it alive?
She is much better today and I think she is just hoping that it will go away. But now she is aftaid that when she goes back to school, and someone asks her out that it will be because they heard that she "puts out"
The thing is that Amy ended up with E anyway, why is he doing this?
This is just the kind of stuff that Kelsie is so sick of in high school!
That is why I just hate teenagers sometimes?
Thanks for listening to my rant,
Kristie
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Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 11:53pm

My dd had a 'friend' K

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Registered: 08-26-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 7:43am

Same 'ol tactics and rumors, different generation :( I'm so sorry for your DD and I am right with you there on "hating teenagers" sometimes. I don't know about you, but some of the things that go on take me back and I almost feel the same as I did when I was 16/17 and I think to myself....I don't want to do this all over again, I already went through it :( Nothing to add for your DD except that what Cheryl said is so true, its just hard to think of it that way when you're going through it.

((((((Hugs to you and dd))))))))

Julie

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Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 7:51am

All the drama - hated it when i was in hs, still hate it now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 1:29pm

First off {{{hugs}}} to you and your DD. As the mother of a DD who had her fair share of drama and mean girl issues, I know how frustrating this is.

The people that truly know your DD will know that there is nothing behind the rumors being spread about her. It does seem that with no facts or details to back up this sort of rot, it does die out pretty quickly.

When my DD found herself on the receiving end (8th grade, so a while ago) somehow she managed to walk into school with her head held high. (I still don't know how she did that, but I am so proud of her that she could.) When she was bombarded with people wanting to hear 'her side', she cut them off quick with a 'sorry, it's not open for discussion', or 'I'm through talking about this ... it's over'. It wasn't long before the unfueled fire died out. She has since taken great pains to avoid high-drama kids at all cost and has become quite adept at identifying them pretty quickly.

I hope this helps just a little! Let us know how things go ...

Julie

 

 

 

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:16am
Here's a little update on what has been happening.
Today Kelsie told me she found out where the whole thing started. She had told her friend, S, about the guy she met this summer while visiting a friend in Ohio and that they had spent time together. They did "make out" but did not have sex. S told Amy that Kelsie had met this guy and from there Amy took it to a whole other level. She has also been telling people that Kelsie wants to be just like her. Well, doesn't that say something about her? She says Kelsie is sleeping around then says she is trying to be like her. Well you know what I think about her! She is the one who vascilates between two guys and has sex with them both and she is also the one who got somewhat drunk earlier in the summer and slept with one of the biggest creeps I know to get back at E for not going back with her. Now you tell me, who is the S*#*?!?!
Kelsie is doing fine now, the shock of the whole thing has worn off and she is just going to let it die. By the time they get back to school next week no one will probably remember any of it.
At least we are hoping so.
Thanks for all the support ladies!
Kristie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 7:54am

Glad to hear that things are settling down some.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:48am
I was so touched by your post. It's the middle of the night here. So for now, I want to say I care about the situation and will get back to you with a thoughtful response...I just wanted you to know that...
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:04am
I am sorry. I think the most important thing to do when this stuff is going on is not add fuel to the fire. Just tell people that these are unfounded rumors if some one asks at school, and tellher to remember that actions speak louder than words.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!