Son and grade 12 graduation
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Son and grade 12 graduation
| Fri, 02-03-2006 - 12:27pm |
My son, who will be graduting this year, does not want to go to his graduation ceremonies. He is a bit of a loner and although he does have a girlfriend (she's not in the same grade) he doesnt want to go. I think its because most of the kids are going in groups with friends, renting limos etc. and he is feeling quite left out. I have tried explaining to him that this is a very important time in his life and he would regret it in the future if he didnt go. I told him that even if he just went to the ceremony, he doesnt have to go to the party after - we can do something on our own (dinner, whatever...). He is still firm on not going. He still has time to change his mind but in the interim do I just leave it be and accept whatever his decision is? From the "mom" perspective, I would be so disappointed not to see him on the stage with the rest of his class.

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I see I'm in the minority here, but I think you have every right to expect him to go to his graduation ceremony. It's not only "his" ceremony, it's the family's also.
How hard did you work to get him to this point? Let him know that going is for you and his family.
My family forced me to go to my college graduation (by guilt, but still...). Would I trade in my grandmother's face afterwards for anything in the world? No. And now I realize my parents were right and I did owe those who helped me get there, to show up on that stage and let them be happy for me.
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I agree!
I think it is perfectly acceptable to state that this isnt just about him, its about parents and extended family
I also suspect there will be some gifting going on? I hate to make it materialistic but hey, if grandma is looking forward to this day and planning on a nice gift, he has an obligation to do his part IMO
Point out this is the likely the LAST time he HAS to do something(I wouldnt feel this way about college myself) and he should attend with that realization
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Yeah, I understand that mostly... but my parents paid for every dime spent for my college... I mean every thing... so I think I was acting somewhat like a spoiled brat when I told them I wasn't going.
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Just as an aside, without getting into all the sordid details, it is EXACTLY this type of "duties owing to family" that has landed me into a pretty miserable state for quite a while. I was raised to always consider my family and others often at the expense of my own feelings and, quite often, at the expense of what was good for me personally. Not saying this is the situation here, just that guilting people into doing things that really have no real value to them personally can create some pretty harmful behaviours in people over the long run.
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