Man....I'd feel the same way you and your DH do. It's different if a child is struggling with academics, but when you know they've got the brains to do more, it's tough to watch them settle for less. He could always go back to school later if he wants more--to become an engineer, chemist or physicist. It's just that, unless he is a genius, it would be very hard to go back and pick up on the math and science, and he'd probably waste at least a semester relearning what he's had so far.
I did not realize at age 17 when I started college that I'd be craving to learn more, and understand the reasoning behind everything I encounter the rest of my life. But I do think college gave me the confidence to pursue that knowledge. With computers controlling so much of a car's workings these days, it could get to be quite boring for someone who has an inquisitive mind. (I got bored with med tech cuz of the automation in labs, and the need to work fast without giving much thought as to what we were doing.) Choosing to become an auto mechanic over college would limit his opportunities, or at least delay them.
If you haven't already discussed with him the points I've made in this post, you can try it, but in the end he's got to make the choice. (You can tell him that I, too, wanted to become an auto mechanic, cuz I got so pissed off every time I had to take the car in and it cost tons of money and I didn't understand why. I was all ready to register for classes and DH said, "Don't you think you should just use get a job where you can use your degree?" I admitted he was right, and settled for work in hospital finance.)
In what state are you allowed to go to a "tech center" for the final two years of high school? At 15, he should be mastering his basic educational requirements, not learning to fix cars. It's too soon for him to lock into a career path with a narrow educational focus.
My dd when she ws upset about something said she wanted to go to a school--high school--that would have been a real step down and totally unchallenging for her.
I can understand your disappointment, but I also think you may need to step back and have some perspective. If your son goes for a more technical HS completion, and then hates it, what's the worst thing that could happen? He might need to make up some classes, might take time off before more education. OTOH, he might find something he really loves, something he's good at.
My brother hated HS - barely finished requirements to graduate, and only with my mother pushing and encouraging. THEN, said "that's it!" and started to work. After two years, he looked for a college, and ended up at Antioch, where you alternate work and school semesters for 5 years. It took him another 5 years or so to figure out exactly what career he wanted....and ended up being an absolutely GREAT and successful Realtor. My DH went to college when he probalby should have taken some time off after HS, and then took 6+ years to finish college (dropped out a few times).
My point is that, like you, I'd be disappointed if my kids chose something that I thought was "less" than they were capable of, but I'd try to support them no matter what, and try to help them find something that made them happy in the long run. The story doesn't end at 17 or 18 or 21 - it's a lifelong journey that we're trying to help our kids with.
I would propose you tell him that he needs to finish 'regular' high school and then can go to GMI or other certified auto maintenance school if he still wants to at that point. DH did that, as well as taking some 'real' college classes - he's 3rd of 8 and his parents couldn't afford to send him so he did what he could when he could. At any rate, once he finished GMI he worked at Sears, only to find that because he went to GMI they put him to work on the more difficult jobs, but he got paid the same low wage as most of the workers who just changed oil or rotated tires. Just a bit disillusioning to dh. That's not to say being a mechanic is a bad thing by any means; he has a friend who is the shop steward at our local Porsche dealer, and he does quite well.
Personally, coming from a family of moms and dads and uncles and aunts who were truck drivers, factory workers, seamstresses, ditch diggers and labourers we would have all been immensely proud of any of our cousins or sons who might have gone on to something as substantial as being an auto mechanic.
This is my take on your problem. First, if he is seriously interested in becoming a car mechanic then he should first finished his high school diploma with a good background in science and math. An understanding of business economics would also be good.
These days and in the years to come a car mechanic will have to have a very good undertanding of very complex systems. The days of a car mechanic being a "grease monkey" are long gone.
Your country and mine will be facing a serious shortage of qualified, trained technologists (which a car mechanic is) in the years to come. Some one will have to fix the cars of all those under employed BAs and BScs and BCom. Your son could very well end up being a business owner or race car mechanic (now that is a cool job) and do very well for himself.
Both myself and my husband have multiple degrees so I can understand your disappointment. But, from that vantage point, I know that a university degree is not a ticket to success. I know MANY people with BAs, BSc and BCom that, now in their 50s, are still making under $60K a year. I also know people without degrees that are making well over $100K a year.
The other point I would like to make that, in the long run, it is his life and must be his choice. If, after high school, he wants to pursue a specific career, let him. He is the one who is going to have to live that life, not you. It is better that he has a passion and interest in his life work then do something just because of `misplaced sense of status` or it is what his parents think he should do.
He can always go to college at any time. You know, the days of one career over one`s lifetime is gone. With e-learning courses and other sources of `help`, he could (after high school) brush up on the basics, if he decides to go to college as a mature adult. Lots of people are doing it now.
Pages
Man....I'd feel the same way you and your DH do. It's different if a child is struggling with academics, but when you know they've got the brains to do more, it's tough to watch them settle for less. He could always go back to school later if he wants more--to become an engineer, chemist or physicist. It's just that, unless he is a genius, it would be very hard to go back and pick up on the math and science, and he'd probably waste at least a semester relearning what he's had so far.
I did not realize at age 17 when I started college that I'd be craving to learn more, and understand the reasoning behind everything I encounter the rest of my life. But I do think college gave me the confidence to pursue that knowledge. With computers controlling so much of a car's workings these days, it could get to be quite boring for someone who has an inquisitive mind. (I got bored with med tech cuz of the automation in labs, and the need to work fast without giving much thought as to what we were doing.) Choosing to become an auto mechanic over college would limit his opportunities, or at least delay them.
If you haven't already discussed with him the points I've made in this post, you can try it, but in the end he's got to make the choice. (You can tell him that I, too, wanted to become an auto mechanic, cuz I got so pissed off every time I had to take the car in and it cost tons of money and I didn't understand why. I was all ready to register for classes and DH said, "Don't you think you should just use get a job where you can use your degree?" I admitted he was right, and settled for work in hospital finance.)
-----------------------------------------------
http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
In what state are you allowed to go to a "tech center" for the final two years of high school? At 15, he should be mastering his basic educational requirements, not learning to fix cars. It's too soon for him to lock into a career path with a narrow educational focus.
I can understand your disappointment, but I also think you may need to step back and have some perspective. If your son goes for a more technical HS completion, and then hates it, what's the worst thing that could happen? He might need to make up some classes, might take time off before more education. OTOH, he might find something he really loves, something he's good at.
My brother hated HS - barely finished requirements to graduate, and only with my mother pushing and encouraging. THEN, said "that's it!" and started to work. After two years, he looked for a college, and ended up at Antioch, where you alternate work and school semesters for 5 years. It took him another 5 years or so to figure out exactly what career he wanted....and ended up being an absolutely GREAT and successful Realtor. My DH went to college when he probalby should have taken some time off after HS, and then took 6+ years to finish college (dropped out a few times).
My point is that, like you, I'd be disappointed if my kids chose something that I thought was "less" than they were capable of, but I'd try to support them no matter what, and try to help them find something that made them happy in the long run. The story doesn't end at 17 or 18 or 21 - it's a lifelong journey that we're trying to help our kids with.
Sue, mom to Leah and Seth
My dd(16) is considering doing the same thing.
I would propose you tell him that he needs to finish 'regular' high school and then can go to GMI or other certified auto maintenance school if he still wants to at that point. DH did that, as well as taking some 'real' college classes - he's 3rd of 8 and his parents couldn't afford to send him so he did what he could when he could. At any rate, once he finished GMI he worked at Sears, only to find that because he went to GMI they put him to work on the more difficult jobs, but he got paid the same low wage as most of the workers who just changed oil or rotated tires. Just a bit disillusioning to dh. That's not to say being a mechanic is a bad thing by any means; he has a friend who is the shop steward at our local Porsche dealer, and he does quite well.
Best of luck.
Sue
Edited 12/14/2007 8:46 pm ET by suzyk2118
Is college his dream, or yours?
Personally, coming from a family of moms and dads and uncles and aunts who were truck drivers, factory workers, seamstresses, ditch diggers and labourers we would have all been immensely proud of any of our cousins or sons who might have gone on to something as substantial as being an auto mechanic.
In fact,
Why not let him go?
This is my take on your problem. First, if he is seriously interested in becoming a car mechanic then he should first finished his high school diploma with a good background in science and math. An understanding of business economics would also be good.
These days and in the years to come a car mechanic will have to have a very good undertanding of very complex systems. The days of a car mechanic being a "grease monkey" are long gone.
Your country and mine will be facing a serious shortage of qualified, trained technologists (which a car mechanic is) in the years to come. Some one will have to fix the cars of all those under employed BAs and BScs and BCom. Your son could very well end up being a business owner or race car mechanic (now that is a cool job) and do very well for himself.
Both myself and my husband have multiple degrees so I can understand your disappointment.
But, from that vantage point, I know that a university degree is not a ticket to success. I know MANY people with BAs, BSc and BCom that, now in their 50s, are still making under $60K a year. I also know people without degrees that are making well over $100K a year.
The other point I would like to make that, in the long run, it is his life and must be his choice. If, after high school, he wants to pursue a specific career, let him. He is the one who is going to have to live that life, not you. It is better that he has a passion and interest in his life work then do something just because of `misplaced sense of status` or it is what his parents think he should do.
He can always go to college at any time. You know, the days of one career over one`s lifetime is gone. With e-learning courses and other sources of `help`, he could (after high school) brush up on the basics, if he decides to go to college as a mature adult.
Lots of people are doing it now.
Pages