Son's G/F Wants to Live With Us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Son's G/F Wants to Live With Us!
7
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 10:52pm
I am a single mom of a 19 year old son, who is going to school and working full time. His g/f, also 19, hates living at her home but will not discuss why. She has stayed at my house, against my wishes. I recently told my son I don't want her staying over or being here when he is not home. I work full time and go to school at night and recently found out she had friends over when neither my son nor myself were home. I blew up! He had given her a key so today I had a locksmith change the locks. Now she is IMing me asking me why I hate her and why she is out of my house, blaming me for everything that has gone wrong with her life. She is lying to my son so I printed out her IMs so he could see what she is saying to me. She is trying to make me into the bad guy here but all I did was take back my house. I know I am right but I am guess I am just looking for some reassurance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 7:07am
Its sad that you think you need reassurance. Of course you are right to protect your own home from this woman. What a sense of entitlement she has! What a leech!
Let her (and your son) know that if she enters your home again without permission, that the police will be called. Be prepared to follow through with your promise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 7:53am
At 19 she is certainly old enough to leave her home and get her own place - but one does not just move in with someone against their wishes! It would be interesting to find out just what is so horrible about her home that she doesn't want to live there - like maybe she's expected to help out around the house some?? What's your son's take on all of this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 9:19am
Stand firm - we made the mistake of letting our 19yo ds's gf stay with us last year for a few months.
Pam
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 9:48am
I agree, I think you did the right thing. This young woman sounds troubled and disillusioned about what a family is and what it means to be part of one. She was rude and disrespectful of you, your son and your home. I wouldn't even respond to her IM's, etc., and if your son insists on seeing her, I'd make him do it outside the home. She's harrassing you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 1:41pm
You are absolutely right. That is your house, and you need to be comfortable in it. I think it's particularly disrespectful for the girlfriend to have others in your home when you are not there. Why would she think that was okay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 1:46pm

Adding my 2 cents for what it's worth I agree you absolutely did the right thing, and there must be something wrong with this young lady!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 9:15pm

I know I did the right thing. She does have a family and a home. I have blocked her
from my emails since she has been clogging my emails with questions as to why I don't
like her, why I changed the locks, etc. My son is being supportive of our home and not giving me a hard time about this at all. There has to be a lot going on with that family. They buy her a car when she wants one (used), pay for her car insurance and all of her bills. Must be nice to have your bills paid and live somewhere for free! I can't and won't support someone else's child, even if she is 19. I just can't imagine ever
questioning an adult about a decision like she is doing. I usually go with the flow
and have never had a confrontation like this before. Thanks for the encouragement!

Sue