Speaking of bullies...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Speaking of bullies...
1
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 1:02pm
I think I did a good thing yesterday, although it remains to be seen! My foster son is always the target of bullies (he brings a lot of it on himself - big, fresh mouth - not that that's an excuse!) Anyway, it was really escalating with one boy this summer - and then continuing on into school. I know the kid because I taught him last year, so I pulled him aside yesterday and said "B - I know what is been going on, and I want to appeal to you on two levels. First, I want to appeal to your basic human compassion because I know what a GREAT kid you are (gag)...you know A.'s been having a really tough time with all the changes in his life...." so I went on that way and had him nodding, and then I said 'But the bottom line is I need to protect this kid - and you know that I have enough witnesses and documented incidents to go to the police under the town's "anti-bullying" bylaw." WELL...the response I got from him was "I totally see what you're saying - and I'll talk so some of the other guys too." I feel like there was some sincerity there, since he offered more than I expected - I didn't think he'd offer to rein in his friends. So I'm cautiously optimistic and somewhat proud of myself!
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 2:53pm

I hope it works out for you (and your foster son). I once found myself in a similar situation with a bully-girl that taunted a teased and basically ruined my 16dd's then later elemntary school days. I said something and felt so confident that it had worked, only to learn later that it backfired and the teasing got worse. I felt like turning back the hand of time and taking back everything I had said and instead given my dd the words and confidence to empower herself. Then, I turned to my favorite method of handling situations like this: Role playing. I role played with my dd until she understood and learned how to land on her own two feet, think fast and have some good comebacks ready for this little twerpy girl and her toadies.

This girl even crashed my dd's 10th birthday! I had to call her mother to come pick her up and when her mother asked why she couldn't stay I told her: Because your dd is rude, mean and a liar. She was never invited and crashed the party...you need to come get her ASAP." When the girl left, she had stashed two of dd's gifts in her jacket!! I was appalled. Eventually, she grew bored after dd finally grew a backbone and told her where to stick her BS and hasn't bothered her since.

Anyway, I didn't want to put GIANT doubts in your head, but be wary - it may not be over just yet.