STAY CONNECTED DURING TEEN YEARS

Avatar for jupiterfit
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
STAY CONNECTED DURING TEEN YEARS
2
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 12:35pm
I am reading a good book called "Positive Discipline for Teenagers" by Nelson and Lott. Here is some good advice from the book. I hope it helps many of you!

KIND AND FIRM PARENTING TOOLS

1. When it's the hardest to spend time with your teen, it's very important that the time you do spend is quality, lecture-free time.

2. Don't expect your teens to be open with you if you don't have a good relationship first. Get to know them instead of telling them how you want them to be.

3. Just hanging out, available, and without an agenda, seems the best way to start spending time with your teen.

FUN THINGS TO DO

If you did nothing more than remember to have fun with your teen on a regular basis, you would be surprised how much your relationship would improve.

Listen withoug judging

Hang out with them

Validate their feelings

Work less, play more, be available

Stop nagging

Go to concerts or ball games

Take extended trips

Go to flea markets

Go on day trips

Work on creative projects

Take walks

Ask for their opinions

Do activities planned by them

Cook together

Tell stories about your own childhood

Make home a comfortable place for friends

Watch their shows

Keep a sense of humor

Look at photo albums

Remember differences are ok

Avoid overreaction

Take care of yourself & own issues

Work on mutual respect

Learn what's normal. Don't take it personally

Include them in discussion

Eat together

Work on joint problem solving

Play games

Ask for their help

Plan a vacation with their input

Allow them to make their mistakes

Have faith

Show interest in their world

Have trust

Laugh a lot

Debbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 12:40pm
Never had to read the book as that is basically how I have interacted with my teens from their baby years to now. ;-) Great tips for those who need some direction though!

Just like this weekend, my daughter and I are hanging loose while my son and hubby are off on the annual guys/kids fishing/camping trip. Great for the souls and relationships ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 2:32pm
Those are all great tips. The one about looking at photo albums caught my eye. Last Sunday as part of my Mother's day gift I asked dh and the boys (13 and 15) to sit with me for awhile to watch some old home movies. We had SUCH fun and laughed so hard! DS15 commented a couple times 'I can't believe how goofy I was back then'.

Pam



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