To stay up for curfew or going to bed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2001
To stay up for curfew or going to bed
8
Sat, 02-18-2006 - 6:21pm

I was wondering how you all handle curfew. Do you stay up or go to bed. I for one have always stayed up waiting for the kids to get home. In my house for my son who is a senior and works almost a full time job during the week the curfew is 9:30 and on weekend 11:30My daughter who is a sophmore her bf leaves at the same times. There are nights that I am so tired and would like to go to bed but then I think I won't here the phone. And probably wouldn't here what time kids got in. So do you stay up or go to bed?

melisd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Sat, 02-18-2006 - 6:35pm

Depends on which kid is out and where they are.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sat, 02-18-2006 - 7:07pm

If I was asleep when dd came in she had to come wake me up. Not just call "I'm home" from the bedroom door but come next to me, shake my shoulder if necessary, until I was awake enough to make some conversation. Then I could look at the time, and smell her breath if I thought she sounded like she had been drinking.

I heard of someone who would set an alarm clock with the curfew time. If the teen got home before curfew he would turn off the alarm; if the alarm went off then mom knew that the teen wasn't home on time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 02-18-2006 - 8:57pm
We've never really had a curfew per se and at this point Justin is still pretty much at our mercy as far as getting to and from places.
Pam
Avatar for momtb4
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 1:34am

I stay up, I can't sleep anyway, I just worry myself sick, so I wait.

I know a lady that handles it in a very unusual way that is very effective. Her kids have an 11pm curfew. They know the rules, they know the consequences. Mom sets an alarm on her side of the bed for curfew at 11. The kid has to be in the house and have the alarm turned off before it rings, or she imposes whatever the preagreed on punishment. She said she had 1 that had her hand on the clock and it went off in her hand! Still, the punishment stands. That puts all the pressure on the kid to not only be home, but by a set time and a bit before. None of this "it was close" stuff. It's all or nothing. It's terrificly effective.

This will the the technique I use when my DD (she's 11) is going out, but since I only learned about it a year ago, I felt it was pretty late in the game to start it with my oldest.

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 1:37pm
When my older ds started driving, I would stay up until he came home. Not so much waiting to see if he broke curfew or not (he really didn't have one) but because I couldn't sleep until he was home safe and sound. By the time he was a Sr, I was a little more relaxed and could actually fall asleep, but would usually wake during the night, so I could check on him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 9:15pm
Dd, 14, is still pretty young so it's less of an issue with us. One of us always waits up when she's babysitting (sometimes pretty late) and I'm pretty sure we will continue that into the older-teen-zone. My niece, who has older kids, ususally dozes on the couch waiting - her oldes is an HS senior. I'm pretty sure we'll do the same.
jt
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:12am
When DD first starting going out without us, I sat the alarm clock for about five minutes before she was due in. This worked except that I wasn't wide awake when she got in and once didn't notice she was drunk until she starting throwing up a couple hours later. After that I started staying up and I insisted that her b/f literally come in and carry on a conversation with me before leaving. This way he wouldn't drink and drive with my DD in the car. This was a few years ago and for the most part I go to bed now and set the clock. She's driving herself now so I don't worry about him drinking and she's grown up and matured quite a bit so I don't worry about her drinking either.
Avatar for heartsandroses2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-21-2006 - 11:56am
It's not that I actually wait up for my dd to be home, but I can't fully rest or sleep well until I hear that garage door open and close, assuring me that dd is home safe and sound.