sticky situation, should I tell my friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
sticky situation, should I tell my friend?
25
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 4:26pm

Hello, I'm wondering if I could get some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 6:03pm

O.K., I really am having trouble with these new boards.

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 10:07pm

If it was a school trip, tell the girl who told you she should have told the chaperones THEN.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 10:21pm

O.K., so you're calling my other friend's daughter a liar?

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 10:45pm

What are you talking about???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

The majority of the time someone tells a parent about something a child has done, the parent resents the messenger, often enough to end the friendship. People believe their kids and kids lie. Pretty simple, really.

Is this information important enough to share that you will be okay losing the friendship of the mom?

If you feel the answer is yes, certainly go ahead.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007

Knowing the type of person this friend is, I don't think she would be mad at me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

From a mom who chaperoned several band trips back in the day - many kids do find a way to 'bend the rules' and unless you have enough chaperones to keep an eye on every single teen 24x7 there are always going to be some that are going to push the limits. Yes, there are those that toe the line very well and you're lucky to have kids like that. My older ds was like that for the most part but during his senior year from he** I got more than an earful about he and his then-gf and inappropriate PDA on the bus, etc. And believe me that was the LEAST of our worries that year! We talked to him/disciplined/etc. Even though I wasn't sure that we'd make it through that year - he's now almost 24, graduated top of his class from college, and is headed to med school in July. Just saying that even teens that go through a phase where they 'push the envelope' can still grow up to be productive human beings! As far as the girl being a 'slut' and the boy being a 'nice boy' - if that's really the case and she was the instigator - very few 16 year old boys are going to have the willpower to turn it down. They are close to their sexual peak at that age and pretty much ANYTHING gets them going.

I hope you don't feel slammed here; none of us were there, none of us know anyone that was involved. I think you've just gotten some opinions and feedback from moms that have been through this stage. You've got to do what you feel is right. Let us know what you decide and how it turns out!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I just wonder why this girl told you this info--I could see her telling her own mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007

People have different views of they think are inappropriate dress.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999

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