Stressed Out 16 year old

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Stressed Out 16 year old
26
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 9:57am

My daughter has been SO stressed out lately and I honestly don't know how to help her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 10:32am

Hi there,


I know this year is tough and sometimes they get so worked up that it makes it worse for themselves :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 1:45pm

It sure does sound like your DD is running herself ragged; I'd be concerned too.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 6:42pm


Since grade 11 marks are so very important where we live for university acceptance and given what you had said previously about your finances...

I suggest you sit down with your DD and have a serious chat. It's time to focus on her future and university. If her dance activities are hurting her marks and are exhausting her, she has to cut down. It's as simple as that. Dance may be fun but she doesn't need to spend so much time at the studio. 9 hours is excessive, IMHO,unless she is planning a career in dance. Remember, scholarships here are based on marks ONLY.

I would not cut down on family time because that is how she will stay grounded.

I remember what her course load is and, to be honest, if she is having trouble with what she is taking, she will drown next year in Grade 12. You should think about getting her help in how to study more effectively.

Believe me, I know what I am talking about. Be there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 8:00pm

When I saw the title of your post, I thought someone had read my mind. Last night, DD and I were parked in the car for 30 minutes while she had a total breakdown....letting out all the stress that's been building up.

It's not for nothing that everyone says that Junior year is the most stressful. The classes are harder, and there's this sense that they "count" for college more. The PSATs and SATs are looming out there, and then *C*O*L*L*E*G*E. And my DD is trying to keep up extracurricular activities, too.

We don't have family close by, but I do try to keep non-essential stuff to a minimum. And I did let her go home early from a BAr Mitzvah party that she and I were invited to, because I could see a breakdown coming.

One thing you could do to help is coach her on how and when to say "no". This is a powerful self-management tool that will serve her well in HS and afterwards. She can be a bit more assertive in choosing - like with family functions - and if you back her up (letting her off the hook once in a while), she'll learn how to take some control over how her time gets eaten up.

HTH

((HUGS)) from a BTDoingThat momma

Sue, mom to Leah and Seth


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Thu, 10-11-2007 - 10:25pm

I

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 9:00am

I too think she needs to back off on the dance classes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 10:29am

Cheryl,


Good for you for letting her sleep all day :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 10:59am

Honestly Cheryl, I never saw her as a professional dancer.

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 1:42pm

In our home we have the rule of


1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 10-12-2007 - 2:50pm

The thing is you can't assume that for her dance is a "want to do" vs a "need to do".

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