Stressed Out 16 year old
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Stressed Out 16 year old
| Thu, 10-11-2007 - 9:57am |
My daughter has been SO stressed out lately and I honestly don't know how to help her.
| Thu, 10-11-2007 - 9:57am |
My daughter has been SO stressed out lately and I honestly don't know how to help her.
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Perhaps, as I suggested, you should look into getting her a tutor on how to study. There is a way to study and once the kid gets the knack of it, they are more efficient.
As for the Chemistry, remember that in our province, all the subjects are standardized. It doesn't matter where you go, Grade 11 Chem is the same. So, I know the Grade 11 Chem course (having had 2 kids go through it) and it really is not that hard. It's basic stuff but it does require that the students think with precision. For many of the kids in Grade 11, it is the first time they had to deal with a full science coarse with exacting lab reports. In an average academic class, I would expect that the tests averages would be in the 60s. That is, after all, a C average here in Ontario. And there are a good percentage of the kids who are truly not "science kids" plus kids who are skating by... Tell her she will do better in the next quiz, now that she has an idea of what to expect.
And anyway, if she finds chem is not her thing, all is not lost. Sure, Grade 11 marks are important but only if you gearing for a scholarship and early acceptance to a "second tier" university and you haven't taken the Grade 12 level course yet when you apply. For the "first tier" universities such as Queen's & U of T, they look at the Grade 12 marks. Earlier acceptances for those come out only after the midterm marks in second term are posted (in April). But if you decides not to go into science, her chem mark will mean nothing.
For example, say the kid wants to apply to an Arts program. They are required to have Grade 12 English + 5 other Grade 12 academic-level courses. When the kid applies in December, universities like York, Ottawa U, Carleton, Trent, Guelph... take the first term marks and make up the remaining 6 courses (the two or three missing) with Grade 11 courses. If they are only taking Grade 12 English second term, the university uses the Grade 11 English mark. If the average is above the cutoff for early acceptance that year, the kid gets a conditional acceptance and till May to decide. If the mark of above the threshold for entrance scholarships (when DD applied it was 85% at Carleton & Ottawa U & York), they get a small scholarship. You have to have over 98%-99% for the big ones. When their final marks come in, their offers of acceptance are confirmed. They may be offered more $$ if their averages have gone up.
There is really no need to be that stressed out here in Ontario in Grade 11. It is important but not the end of the world. If her Grade 12 marks are in the 80s, she will get into a university, especially York with no problems. And she has till next May to decide where she wants to go. She can even stay in high school for another term or year. Lots of kids are doing that. And if she goes into Arts, the tuition is really not that high. I think it is only about $5K. Science is about $6K.
You know, I have a kid in Grade 12 and he isn't stressed out. And here, it is Grade 12 that really counts,not grade 11.
However, I still think she should scale down her dancing and concentrate on her future plus also take "time to smell the roses".
We value the participation to a point. As long as the young man is getting other things done in his life and doing well, it is fine. But when the sports take first place over all other things, there is a problem.
Moreover, most boys I know DON'T spend nine hours a week playing a competitive sport.
For example, they might have a practice (about 1 to 2 hrs a week ) plus a game once or twice a week. That's it. And when they start to do more than that, their marks can and do suffer. Unless the kid is extremely gifted, something has to give and something does. So, the same applies to the sports kids as to the music kids and to the dance kids. If your extra-activities is getting in the way of your school work and is causing health problems, you have to make a choice. The universities in Canada look at marks; they don't care if you were some "hot shot" soccer player or you can "dance on point" unless those skills are specifically required for your chosen program.
No one said that the Arts are not important but I would be very careful about assuming that those who are engaged in the Arts are "better than" those who do not.
There are many activities kids can engage in and still develop discipline. (And, by the way, scoring high on high school standard testing means nothing, especially in Canada. The standard testing here is only Grade 9 Math (easy as pie) and passing a very easy literacy test in Grade 10.) And, you don't have to be involved in a "competitive" activity to enjoy the activity and develop discipline.
You know, there are "pros" and "cons" to every activity,including dance and music. Some of the lessons learned in these activities are not transferable to every walk of life. Just because a kid was into competitive dance or would place in piano competitions or was the top hockey player does not mean those skills will help them become a scientist, engineer, a doctor, a author..... There is much more to it than that.
So, if your DD can handle 9-hours of dance a week plus her school work,fine. But if she is too stressed out...
This is a very minor point, but I thought I would address it anyway...
Iteadrinker thank you for that information on how the Universities in Ontario look at grades in grade 11 and 12.
You echoed my thoughts when it comes to boys and sports.
That's good. Tell her for me that just do her best in Chemistry and then forget about it.
It will not count towards her acceptance to university. Don't worry. She will be fine. She will get into York or U of T no problem.
There is nothing wrong with dance; my kid also did Royal Academy Ballet up to age 11 or 12. I have a relative who is a real ballerina (a graduate of Royal Ballet of Canada school in TO). Personal, I am not a fan of some of these competitive activities because they don't always encourage balance. I've seen too many kids (boys and girls) end up not going onto "meaty" university programs because their marks were not good enough. I've seen too many kids get overwhelm with the competition and forget the fun they are suppose to be having.
You know, my DD told me that she worked harder in high school then she does in university.
Her marks have not gone down because she said she has learned the "tricks".
Perhaps in the US but not here in Canada. The coaches are just teachers; it's all about physical activity and having fun. Academics come first. No school would spend that much time on one sport because,unless the kid is extremely gifted, they would fail high school. The kids need time to do their homework.
I am sure there are kids here that spend 9 hours and even more on "outside" school sports and dance.. But, these kids tend to be doing at the best just OK, in Grade 11 & 12.
They either have to scale their extra-activities down (which most of my kids' friends did) or take the hit to their marks.
Our hs coaches are just teachers too, and in fact, the coaches Z had pushed the guys to excell academically, when it looked like they were slacking it could mean more bench time for them.
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