summer curfews
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summer curfews
| Fri, 06-30-2006 - 12:56am |
Hi, I haven't posted in awhile, just been lurking, but since I'm up waiting on DD 16 to come in I thought I'd see what others do about curfews in the summer. Hubby and I are getting pretty exhausted. I can't go to bed at night till I know everyone is in so here we are waiting up till midnight on alot of weeknights and of course the kids all sleep in till noon. I, on the other hand am up by seven each morning, so after awhile it wears on you. Even if she doesn't go out, it seems like there are kids over here or things are just going on in the house like watching movies, computer use, talking on the phone, etc. What do you do at your house with teenagers in the summer except get happy when its time for school to start again. I also have a 20 yr old at home from college in the summer who doesn't go out everynight but when she does it is often very late, like twoish when she comes in.....I guess these kids just don't realize that parents live in the real world and have to keep different hours..... UGH

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Call me an old lady, but I need some sleep in order to function in the morning...I can't sleep at my desk. We're flexible with curfews for the most part, but basically they remain the same year round...
During the week, my house needs to be vacated by 10PM. My house seems to be a teen magnet and I have kids here all the time, but I kick them at 10 Sun-Thurs. As far as being in, DD18 needs to be in by 11PM and DD16 doesn't really go out much but when she does she has to be in by about 10PM.
Fri/Sat is a little different. DD18 has a curfew of about 1:30 AM, but since she's usually home (with BF or friends) everyone has to vacate around 12:30AM. DD16, when she goes out on a Friday/Saturday needs to be in by Midnight.
We've never had much of an issue with curfews, surprisingly....very much unlike me when I was thier ages! ☺
I find it interesting that you mention this. I was picking up another boy (age 15) for a sleepover last night and got a real good look at a family that works and their curfew rules. The parents were going away for a couple of days and they had assembled the children in the living room to give them the house rules. Grammy and Grampy were staying with the kids. (yes they are well old enough to stay on their own, but still instist on adult supervision for overnights). There are 8 children in this blended family. Four are hers, four are his.
20, 16,16,15,14,13,13, and 11
All of them must be in the house by the time the street lights come on. Those who have jobs, must be in no later than one half hour + travel time, after they punch out. All children in bed by 11:00 pm. The 20 year old can stay up till 12:30 am. Computer time is assigned and must be over with by 7:30 pm every night. Spending time over at a friends' requires that you be home by 8:30 pm and that an adult transport you should that time be after dark. All chores must be done before the kids can go anywhere or do anything.(friends,tv, computer, etc..)
It may seem strict, but with 8 children, 7 of them teenagers, they need to be organized. It was so awesome to see how smoothly that family worked.
stacy
I was going to ask the same question. My ds16 has to attend summer school until July 14th from 8:30 to 1:00 but most of his friends do not, and apparently do not have jobs yet, either. On the weekends, his curfew has been 11:30 and during the school year he is not usually out late anyway, but naturally, summer is in full force and kids are meeting at houses to watch movies late, etc. Exactly what you're describing. My ds has to be home by 10:00 during the week, but this is not working well for us for another reason: he doesn't drive yet so we must often pick him up. As I've mentioned before, this is one of the pains also of the new license requirements - his friends who do drive cannot bring him home, either! I had a talk with him to make him understand how inconvenient this is for his dad and I - and that it would be a little different if he were driving himself, but...these 10:00 nights have got to stop. I'm too tired. He's bummed, but understands. Last night he got a ride home from his girlfriend's mother.
Curfew or not, I also just don't like him being out every single night of the week, summer or not. I'd be curious what other parents do about this.
Is it that same group of kids all the time? Can you call the other parents and set up some way to share transport? Or are most of them driving with the only themselves rule now?
Set up a schedule with one day being family day(let HIM choose which since it will be a fate worse than death)and 1-2 days being at your home with all parties out at 10?
Just suggestions...my kids arent that social. DH really laments that;perhaps I should have him read this thread and see what he is 'missing'-LOL
I agree that w/ so many kids, they must have to run their house like the Von Trapp family, but their rules are a little overboard. I can't see telling a 20 yr. old what time to go to bed. I didn't even do that last year w/ my 17 y.o. When she had to take the school bus, I used to try to make her go to bed by 10:00 on a school night in case she missed the bus which came at 6:50! but last year even before she got her license, she had a friend who was driving her. She has a lot of homework and finally I figured, if she was up too late, she would be the one who would be tired in the a.m., not me. Plus if she goes away to college, she will have to learn how to manage her time. There will be noone telling her when to go to bed and get up. Plus, not using the computer at night? My kids (even the 4th grader) have to use the computer sometimes to do their homework.
As far as curfews, my DD can't drive after 12:00, so that is her curfew, even on weekends. They have only been out of school 2 weeks, so I haven't had that much of her going out during the week, plus some nights she works til 10:00, then comes home and some nights she is visiting her father, so it's not every night. I do understand not being able to go to sleep when they are out, though. Sometimes I will fall asleep and if I wake up, I will get up and check to make sure she is home safely. We also generally don't have a lot of kids over. If she only has one friend over, and they are driving, they have to be home by midnight too.
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Yeah see, they have the rule that homework must be completed when the children get home from school. Not at 7 pm at night. My son is going into 8th grade and I expect him to have his homework completed before he does anything else as well.
stacy
It's not always the same group all the time, although some of the kids are in both groups. Now he has a girlfriend too, and it seems she is yet in another "group" and some of the boys don't particularly like her....sigh. Occasionally he will get a ride from one of the other parents, but in the summer things are more complicated. Almost none of his friends are in summer school and their curfews are later. Some kids will walk home and while I have occasionally let him walk home, I have to confess that my own worries of him out late at night (even though we are in a small town, but still) will make me go out of my way to pick him up if he's walking. Some of the parents don't give their kids any curfew at all...and yeah, we have a town curfew of 11 pm and some of these parents tell their kids, "just don't get caught." Nice, huh. As it is high school I don't even know most of these parents, anyway. It's really different than it used to be...
As for your suggetion, Sundays is usually family day although I have not made it officially so, I think it's time that I do so....thanks for the suggestions.
I only have 1 kid left with a curfew - DD 15.
I'm in this line too - after being in school for 7 hours and staying for an after-school activity or to study with friends, ds needs some decompression time before he'd just jump in and do homework; otherwise usually he'd get home about 1.5 hours before I did and he'd spend about 30 minutes or so and then start the 'easy stuff', we'd eat, and he'd do the harder stuff after dinner. I would much rather have him have time to decompress than force the issue to do the work immediately after getting home from doing all that in-class work. Maybe that's a personality thing, but I know he does much better on the work with that down time first.
Sue
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