summer school blues

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
summer school blues
22
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:06pm

DH got the news that his DD, who just finished 11th grade, failed 2 major subjects this year (English & Math) and so won't be promoted. Accd. to her, it would still be possible to graduate next year if she takes 7 classes, which is the max. number of periods per day, meaning no study period. The other option would be to do summer school (july 9-Aug 9). Of course, DSD doesn't want to do that cause it means (1) she will have to study and (2) it will probably mean she can't do the babysitting for her aunt that was going to be her summer job, cause I don't think she could make it there on time for her aunt to leave for work. Of course, DH is usually not very good at handling these types of things. This is after last week's drama of DSD charging an extra $80 on the cell phone from text messaging, he got mad at her for various things and she snuck out of the house late and night to go to a friend's.

First, DH starts the conversation by saying "You have a choice of either going to summer school or taking extra classes next year or staying back." so she says take extra next year. Then he says "No, you can't do that cause I don't believe you can handle it. You have to go to summer school." Well, if he was going to decide that himself, and I think he is probably right about that, cause this isn't the first failing grade, then why even say you have a choice. Just say "I'm the father and I have to decide this cause you haven't been responsible." He says summer school will cost us $300 and if you don't pass, you will have to pay for it. ok. Then he starts saying that she won't be able to use the car until the classes are over and she passes. Now we are getting into overkill, in my opinion. How is she supposed to get to school to go to summer school? There is no public bus, no school bus and we both work. He goes to work at 6:00 a.m. I can't remember exactly when the 1st class starts, I am thinking 8:30. Is she supposed to sit on the lawn in front of the school for that time or hang out in Dunkin Donuts? and then how will she get home? He says "I will take my lunch hour and go pick her up." Yeah, that's realistic. He works in a hardware type store. Half the time, he doesn't even get to take a lunch hour if they are busy, so now he is going to leave every day and take about an hour w/o pay to do this. His reasoning is that she will go out w/ her friends every day after school and not study. Well, I'm sure she isn't going to be studying 8 hrs. a day anyway, even if she's home. My idea would be to say "you have to take the courses, it's your responsibility to do the homework and pass and if you don't, then you'll have to pay back the $300 and THEN you can't use the car for the rest of the summer." That sounds like a good incentive to me.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 1:58pm

There are some college kids who work in DH's store in the summer. I guess one of them was getting his tuition paid at college by his parents, but he did too much partying and not enough studying, so the next year, his parents made him take out loans to pay for some of the tuition, thereby making him more responsible (they hope). I agree w/ that. I wouldn't waste my money paying for college for someone who is barely going to get by.

It's tough to know when it's time to let the child grow up and be responsible for their mistakes. By the time they are 17, you would think they would have a little understanding that if they fail, it won't be good. DH asked her what would make us think that she could handle 7 classes next year and pass. Her answer was "I want to graduate w/ my friend." well, maybe that would work. I know he could keep on her, keep checking w/ the teachers to make sure her hw is done, etc. but we're not going to do that in college. They can't even give parents that info, so at some point she has to be responsible for herself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 11:10am

DH talked to a counsellor at school, who also thought it was unrealistic for DSD to take 7 classes next year, so he went to sign her up today for summer school. She will def. take English but if they don't have enough students for Science, they won't be able to offer the course. Even if she just takes English, I think she could still graduate on time next year.

I do think the friend influence is big here. She has been hanging around w/ one girl I have never met this summer (although DH has met her). Her 2 best friends she hasn't seen as much. ONe girl is working every day and her mother is also overly strict and hardly ever lets her go out, so DSD gets tired of waiting for her to be able to do something. The other girl has a BF and it seems that he takes priority. I don't blame DSD for not wanting to be 2nd choice only if the BF can't do something.

so I don't know what this other girl is like, but it seems like her family isn't much of a good influence. I guess they got a lot of fireworks over the weekend, which are illegal to have for private use. The police will look the other way if you just have a few sparklers or small stuff, esp. when it's near July 4, but they must have had a whole bunch, cause the police came by once to give them a warning, then when they didn't stop, they were arrested later, plus they were drunk. Now being drunk and setting off fireworks aren't a really good combination. DSD also says these parents let their DD do anything she wants, which is why she was allowed to drive over to our house 2 days after she got her license to pick up DSD when she was sneaking out of the house. I guess we are the only ones who care about obeying the law.

Pages