Suspicious Behaviour
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| Mon, 09-18-2006 - 1:53pm |
DD's 'bad influence' friend H. showed up yesterday, quite unexpectedly in the afternoon (walking by herself) and dh told her dd was out shopping with me. Later, she came by again. She has not been over in months, but they see each other at school when H. bothers to attend. DD told me that H. had spent the night at L.'s house (who lives down the street from us) and could she hang out for a while? Well, of course y'all would have been proud of me as I acted as though H. were a very nice girl whom I can't wait for my dd to spend time with! :(
She stayed around for a while, but as it grew later, she left and said, "thank you for having me over." DD said she was going back to L.'s house (huh?) because she forgot something.
My mom insticts are telling me that something is up here - I think H. has run away again (she did so once before and was only gone a few hours). I fully would expect her parents to call me if they were looking for her, otoh, they haven't seen dd and her together in months so may assume she would not go to our house? I could be way off base, but her behaviour was definitely suspicious, as 1) she doesn't even like L. 2) her parents have always picked her up and she doesn't live near us. I didn't call the parents b/c as far as I know nothing is going on,and also b/c I haven't talked to them in months. Her parents have a tendency to be very inconsistent with the discipline and they may have told her (like they did last time) that they are sending her away to "boot camp".

If you aren't sure what's going on, then you are probably best to not contact her parents. You did the right thing by allowing her to visit. She probably needs the emotional security and stability that your home offers.
About a year ago, one of DD's friends (that she hadn't seen in a long-time) called out of the blue and wanted DD to come get her. She and her mom had gotten into an argument. Her mom hit her and left with the girls keys. DD and her b/f (big, big guy) arranged to meet the girl somewhere other than her home and went and got her. I let her spend the night on the condition that she let her mom know she was okay. She called her boss and asked him to call her. Since she was 18, I really couldn't involve DCS but I put some ice on the bruise and gave her a hug and a place to sleep. The next morning she was ready to go home although she knew she was welcome as long as needed. I've only seen her in passing here at school a few times since. Neither of us have mentioned that night but I would hope that if my DD ever felt unsafe in our home, someone would provide her with a safety net. This is probably what your home feels like to her.
I certainly hope so. If H. ever asks my help I'd be willing to offer it to her, but so far she doesn't trust adults enough to ask for their help.