Sweet 16
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| Tue, 03-06-2007 - 7:47pm |
Another Sweet 16 - this one is at a rented hall - and the invites went out on Facebook. DH and I decided that L can go, but I want to call the parents first - just to make sure they'll be there, and to hear them tell me how they're going to keep alchohol and drugs (and univited people)out of the party. L is totally humiliated that I would do this (and will be very PO'd when her dad tells her he's going to pick her up BEFORE midnight). I told her I understand why my calling the parents would be embarrassing, but I still think it's reasonable to do (and I totally question the judgement/intelligence of ANYONE who allows their child to post a party on a web site!).
My DD is such a good kid basically - she really doesn't challenge us on very much - but the party thing is one she really tries to push.
Also, I think this bugs me more because (unlike elementary school), I don't know any of the parents. This is a city-wide HS, and other than PTA meetings there are few opportunities to meet and gain comfort with other parents. I miss this connection that I had when she was younger!

I'm in total agreement with you on this, Sue! Allowing their DD to post the invitation to this party on the internet? I can't even begin to think what these parents were thinking ... perhaps they weren't? Or aren't very well versed or in-tune with the habits and ways of teenagers these days? And how far and spread anything posted on the internet can spread? Yikes.
Not only do I think calling the parents is a reasonable thing to do, I think it's in L's best interest, to make sure she will be safe at this party. Being the 'half glass empty' kind of person that I am, I have visions of mayhem and bedlam ... hoards of teens trying to crash ... you know, the unsupervised parties of OUR youth, lolol. My how times have changed!
Depending on how the convo with the bday girls' parents goes, I might have even reserved the right to change my mind about letting her go.
Good luck and let us know how this one goes! Is the party anytime soon?
Edited 3/7/2007 11:33 am ET by hydrangea_blue
That's the funny part - it's Friday - "sorry for the short notice, Mom" LOLOL I think L was seeing if any of her friends were going before she put in the effort to discuss it with me and DH.
I hear that!
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Good point, Marie. I also totally agree with you, Sue's DD sounds like a very responsible and trustworthy young lady!
I totally agree with you. My guess is the parents have no clue she did invites on facebook or if they did they have no clue what that means ie -- party crashers!
I'd call the parents too frankly. And if your daughter is embarassed well too bad. Just ask her if she'd prefer to be less embarassed or home that night ...
DH & I do exactly the same thing in our home. DD(16yo) wants to attend a party anywhere and we speak to the parents. My DD gave me sang the same tune "it is really embarassing", our response we call and feel comfortable then you can attend. We don't make the call the you will not be in attendance. She has always chose the call. Trust your instincts, set the boundaries, they eventually get the idea.
Besides you know we parents are here to make simple things complex. LOL
Happy Parenting - Anna
After reading some of the posts, I realized my main focus should be on talking to L about the risks. I said "just a warning, some time before the party I'm going to want to talk to you (maybe lecture) about things to be careful about". Interestingly, her response was "good. that will be more permanent than just talking to the parents". LOL she's way ahead of me sometimes!
Sue
I learned the hard way of not calling, until I caught my son drunk as a skunk one night and my daughter lied and had her boyfriend over. I really just like to have an understanding of who the parents are. Some of my kid's friends I know really well, and I play cards with their mothers and are in book clubs with them, so I trust when my kids go to their homes. But the kids who I have never met the parents of, I usually call to just get a better feel of the place, much to my daughter's dismay.
Adelaide