Taking a Stand - or Not
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| Mon, 10-02-2006 - 12:07am |
Over the summer I had the subject of particpation in the pledge of allegiance was on my mind, and I had told my kids that I may not want them to say the pledge once school starts.
I explained what a pledge was and what the word allegiance meant and we talked about that a bit and I told them I would let them know before school started.
The week before school started one of my sons had his first football game. Before the game began, the announcer asked us all to rise for the pledge of allegiance. It has been my practice for years now to not be present when the national anthem is played or the pledge is recited at events, however this time I chose to just keep my seat.
I was sitting in the third row, and I didn't look back or around to see if anyone was taking notice of my non-participation, but I got a touch of the butterflies in my stomach thinking that other parents were likely taking notice and making a mental note not to let their kids come over to my house to play in the future.
On the way home after the game I told my kids about how it had made me feel to keep my seat, and I didn't feel it was right for me to put that kind of pressure on them, so I wouldn't require them to keep their seats at school during the pledge. They really didn't have much of a response.
At the end of the first week of school one of my sons told me "hey dad, I forgot to tell you. - I haven't been saying the pledge at school. I've been sitting down." I was shocked, and proud. I asked if any of his classmates had given him any grief. He said no one had, and in fact two of his friends had followed his lead and sat down after they saw him not standing.
The following week he told me there was one girl that was giving him some grief and had told him she was going to tell the teacher, but that didn't concern him. He knew his rights, he knew the reasons he had for not participating, and he was very confident of himself. He wasn't giving in. Then last week he came home from school and told me I needed to make a phone call to the school because his teacher had made him stand for the pledge. He stood there as I made the call to the principal. It was a short conversation. He heard me speak pleasantly to the principal as I simply said his teacher had made him stand for the pledge, I said thanks and hung up the phone. He wanted to know what the principals response had been, and I told him she had said that saying the pledge was optional and she would inform his teacher of that. He seemed pleased. The following day his teacher explained that she wasn't aware that saying the pledge was optional, and apologized to him.
This has all been a great learning experience for my kids and for myself. I know I'll never duck out when they play the national anthem again, or worry if people are looking at me when I don't stand for the pledge. It seems kind of odd, but my son has set the example for me, and I couldn't be more proud

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You're proud that he mimicks you? Ok, whatever.
zz
Hmmm..... I seem to remember almost this exact same post being here a year ago, at about the same time as the last diatribe about military recruiters.
Stand out of respect for your fellow citizens but no one said you had to open your mouth. That's up to you.
You stand out of respect for your fellow citzens.
This is how non-citizens handle it. They would stand (out of respect) but not say the pledge to the flag because it is not their flag.
anonajohn,
You've never indicated how old your kids are, but since you are posting on a 'teens' board, I assume they are teenagers and as such, are old enough to think for themselves and thus, make their own decisions about how they feel about something as personal as allegiance to their country and flag -- rather than being told that they should think, feel and act just like their father.
P.S.: Considering the fact you feel so little allegiance or loyalty to this great country of ours, I'm wondering why you don't just immigrate? I'm sure there is a country somewhere in this wide world of ours whose feelings and beliefs -- particularly those related to the United States -- are more closely aligned to yours? Like maybe somewhere in the Middle East?
Edited 10/2/2006 1:07 pm ET by hydrangea_blue
Edited 10/2/2006 1:08 pm ET by hydrangea_blue
I've read the responses to this post and get a sense that there's something else going on that's been around longer than this past summer.
Personally I see nothing wrong with the pledge. I am quite happy to be in this Nation Under God and would hate to have it changed in any way. Quite a few people have made sacrifices to get us where we are today, my father included in those. He served in WWII. I was quite proud to wear his military ring for several years until I placed it in a safe place to pass on to my DDs some day.
Sallie
It sounds to me like you've brainwashed your children to think like you do, which doesn't surprise me because this is also an un-american thing to do. I wouldn't be proud at all of a son who cannot think for himself, and make his own decisions. If your kids really are teenagers, this is especially worrisome. Remember, there are other things to protect them from besides the military. If they only learn how to parrot another's ideas, they are going to be quite vulnerable to real predators.
And honestly, would you prefer this war be fought on our own soil? Or are you really naive enough to convince yourself, even after 9-11, that it could never come to that?
Sorry iteadrinker, I think you misread my intent with my previous post on this thread, and as I read it again, it was about as clear as mud.
blue,
we all try to instill our values into our children. What made me proud was that I told them that I wouldn't expect them to NOT participate because of the feelings I had when I chose to remain seated. I was giving them permission to stand and say the pledge, yet my son decided own his own not to. When my other two heard that their bro telling me he was keeping his seat they told me they didn't say the pledge but they did stand. I reminded each of them they were free to make their own decision on this - and I think they appreciated that. In telling them it was up to them, I was giving them options that their teachers had not given them, even though by law saying the pledge is an optional activity.
Regarding moving to another country. I'd love to. My reasons for staying are strictly financial. I would love nothing more than to be able to sell my citizenship on ebay and use those funds to leave this country.
I have a flag waving bro in the military who was recently in Germany. While there he toured Europe and I asked him to take notice of whether the citizens in Europe seemed to be more or less free than the citizens of the U.S.. He returned saying that they were more free over there. Sounds like the kind of place I'd like to go. I can set up a paypal account to take donations if you guys think you could come up with the funds to send us.
John,
Life isn't all about money (as you probably know, being a fan of the Europeans), it's about peace of mind. By staying here for financial reasons, imho, you are "buying into" the very things which you seem to detest and sounding quite hypocritical. If I felt oppressed in the country in which I lived, you better believe I'd find a way out, and to h*** with the money. Thousands have done it over the years, risking their lives to get where they want to. I feel that, if you really want to, you can find a way. Good luck.
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