talking on the phone 25/7, no joke!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
talking on the phone 25/7, no joke!
22
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 2:26pm
My 17 1/2 y/o stepson has a new girlfriend who is 15 and lives an hour away. They are on the phone from the time he gets home from work (about 6 pm) until, sometimes, 1 am. We set a rule of no phone calls after 9pm. This made him mad and he decided to move out to live with this girl and her mom, with her mom offering to pick him up! He says that since he is 18 he is an adult and can do whatever he wants.
I told him that if he thought he could support himself, he knew where the door was. I also told him that when he decides to come home he will be expected to pay $175.00 per month rent and supply everything for himself (shampoo, deoderant ect.). He was also told that he would be responsible for his own health care, car, insurance,gas... I had previously offered the same to my 19 y/o daughter.
I have raised these children for the past 5 years and watched as they have walk all over their father, which he seems to facilitate. I can't stand it anymore and after talking to my husband explained to the boys that when they walk out the door they become adults and must take care of themselves.
Any suggestions would be welcomed. I am working full time and going to school, I also have a 3 y/o son who does everything his brothers do. HELP!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 5:10pm
His cell phone is pay as you go and he pays for it. I think that he thinks since calls on the cell are free after 9p then the house phone is too! Dad is doing a little better, but J. has been gone to camp this week. We will see what happens soon.
We are also moving to a new, larger house, so for a little whoil there will be no home phone. at least until they transfer service. Anyway, we will see what happens in a few days.
THANKS
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 9:42am
My husband and I have decided to allow him to make all the calls he wants, as long as they are originated from his cell. There will no longer be calls made or recieved after 10 PM on the home phone, and any calls will limited to 10 min.
It isn't that we mind him talking to his GF we just do not feel that we should have to ask to use the phone in our own home.
I spoke to him "adult to adult" the other night, I told him that I did understand what it was like to be a young adult. I also explained that since we have bought a house things should get better. We are living in a 3 BR apt. until the 1st of Aug, we will then be in a 4 BR house. He will have his own room, which he has never had. We will not be living on top of each other anymore, and each of us will be able to find our own space away from the rest of the family. You know, so we can take a break from all the noise, relax a little, pull our thoughts together, and so forth.
He has been at church camp this whole week and is asking to stay another so I am hoping that spending time without all the amminities and having time to reflect on the past few weeks will do some good. We will start working on the house this weekend, so maybe he will see that it is real, and he can relax about "his apace" a bit.
Pray that this works. I do not want my child out in the world too soon.

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