tea that makes them high/ + other concer
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| Wed, 09-12-2007 - 11:23am |
Let's start with this...I spy on my son's (17) computer. Sometimes I think I learn too much and I don't know how to deal with the info. Remember, there should be no way for me know this info, so I can't outright tell him what I know, or he'll figure it out (or his friend's will)
This week I read where his "friend" (becoming girlfriend) says "I'm so wasted" I know they sometimes just say this sort of thing. Then my son replies "yea, I was so wasted off that tea we had, lets have it again when we watch that movie (movie of book they should have read over the summer). What kind of tea did they have!!??
I also know that a friend of his is "hosting" a party at another friend's uncle's "crib" and that there will be alcohol. Since there is know way I wolud know about it I don't know how to stop him from going. He works most weekend nights and probably won't get off until 10. I know he will try to have a sleepover somewhere. The mom of the one friend knows that we have agreed to check in with each other to confirm these sleepovers. Both of our kids have attempted to say they were sleeping over, mine stayed out until 3 am, hers went down the shore!! My son will probably say he is sleeping at someone else's, whose number I won't know. These kids are old enough to put their friends on the phone and pretend they're the parent.
Last week, I think he was going to try to do this type of thing, but since he was so tired from school and a lot of work, I told him just to stay home. I watched him out the window as he was reorganizing his trunk and it was obvious that he was pissed. He had somewhere to go....But, the friend's mom (where he claimed he wanted to sleep) did not mention her son doing anything weird that night (like saying he was at our house) so maybe I'm wrong.
Mainly, I don't know how to approach the info I shouldn't have (such as this party). I talk to him about drugs and drinking and stuff, but I think he thinks he is too cool and too invincible.
Haven't caught him yet.....which brings up another point (for another post?) about randomly testing for drugs/alcohol. I have tests and he knows it, but never used it. Also,I believe some of them may have used shrooms (mushrooms), and they don't show up in drug tests.
Help me, don't judge me. I worry every minute he is out of my house.

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You could say you have read things on this messageboard that are making you rethink your decision to allow him to go to ANY sleepover(and, once youre on the board awhile, that will be truthful ;))
Insist you need to meet these parents-you could offer to follow in the car or search out a landline in their name. That would be an interesting poll for the board-I think many in the age group to have teens still have a land line. That way you would know if the number he was giving you was legit or some kids cell phone. You would have to call, not have 'them' call you
I don't know about the tea thing but I did find some links when I googled marijuana tea(my first thought but there could be other choices)
Be sure you address "IF you drink....." and not driving. I guess thats the good thing about sleepovers-beats drinking beer while driving out in the country, KWIM
I understand your worrying!
I did find marijuana tea on the net. I hope her parents are home tonight. Wouldn't it have an odor while it was cooking? Pot isn't the worse thing he could do...My brother smoked since 9th grade and went to college after his junior year of high school and has a PhD in CHemistry, and smoked his whole way through!!! But he was REALLY smart (my son is pretty average)
Anybody know how being high affects driving? Haven't heard of too many accidents where they blamed it. I actually never smoked it, my parents scared me to death, especially after they caught my brother at school (slap on wrist from cops in the 70's).
use the spyware or don't use it??? Sticky dilemma. Last week it helped me stop him from attending a party I was afraid of for him, but only because I could come up with a valid reason why he shouldn't go out that night....
I'm stuck if I do and if I don't. What if something happened, and then I found out I could have prevented it?...but, like this coming weekend, even though I know, how can I stop it? He is a big boy, I just don't want him in situations with lots of drinking. I don't trust his judgement yet and he's only has his license since May.
He's a senior. My hubby says we have to trust him, but I haven't told my hubby everything I see, for fear he'll flip out (and some might just be "talk") and he could give away our source-and son will just stop using computer and do all texting. Yet, Dad's also the one that says if we hold too tight he'll just try to do even more....
Did I mention that I hate having teens? I was just at McDOnald's with a playplace, and really felt that I "miss" my kids. They were so sweet, and I don't think enough parents realize what is down the road and treasure the moments the way they should.
Also, I have a 14 year old. I like all his friends and know them and their families much more than my 17 yr old. I will spy on him to be sure he stays on the right path. Perhaps I waited too long with my 17DS, or maybe I could have discouraged his Friend early on. (yes, I partly blame his choice of friends)
Thanks for your thoughts, they give me things to think about and make me feel like I'm not alone. I hate when I talk to parents of "perfect" kids, and they are out there. Good grades, good friends, no drinking or lying, working hard etc. Though the one perfect child is a girl who has never had a boyfriend (17). At least socially my son is quite skilled!
Mushroom tea was our favorite when young.
Driving and mj is no good. There's a long thread (35+ posts), titled something like "help my son drank & smoked pot", on this board. Read through some of those if you think pot is harmless. There may be a small minority who can be addicted and still be successful, but no one should take the risk.
Your son sounds a lot like the way my DS18 was last year. Last fall he got in trouble for drinking and ended up seriously depressed for 2 months because of the severe punishment the school doled out. AFter that we did ban sleepovers for him after learning that that is where he began drinking. Then, after graduation, he still had the guts to smoke pot, after all our talking, and after being warned that he should expect random drug tests. (I bought a urine test kit from WalMart when I suspected it, and I was right.) After doing that drug test, I felt really sad, thinking what am I going to do if I do another some time and it's positive? Quit paying tuition, cut him off and let him fend for himself? He's reallly not a bad kid, is polite and respectful, and has gotten good grades all through school. Once we know they will try these illegal activities, as one OP mentioned, all we can do is talk and talk and talk. And I've been doing a helluva lot lately!
Hugs to you.
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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM
Google "salvia."
There are a number of "legal" mood altering concoctions available over the internet that are of short duration and very expensive. This may be one he's referring to as it has become popular. As far as I know, there are no lasting side effects other than an incredible waste of money.
I don't think its unreasonable to put a stop to sleepovers for a 17 yr old boy since the
There's an odor to the tea, for sure.
If you know about the party - you can always say you learned about it on the parent network - call the school, call the police but don't ignore it. I always look at it this way - how would I feel if I knew about it and someone was killed be it driving, alcohol poisoning or some other accident? I would rather have kids mad at me for a few days than be dead, personally.
The tea was probably twisted tea - which is what the wine coller was back in the day.
Let me just say - do you really need to drug test him? You already don't trust him and think back to when you stopped trusting to him and just
Courtney
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom
Cindy,
My DD17 is not allowed to go to sleepovers if I don't have the home phone number and address of the friend she is staying with.
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