Teacher with a grudge

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Teacher with a grudge
9
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 3:56pm
It's only the second day of school, and I'm so angry about one of my DD's teachers, I could scream. She's a sophomore now and had this same teacher for foreign language last year too. Just as background, my DD is an average "B" student. She had some learning issues in elementary school, mainly due to difficulty processing spoken instructions, etc. She is very determined and has worked her way through that. She is an incredibly persistent, hard worker and a very organized, focused, and responsible student. I'd say that 99.9% of her teachers throughout her academic career would agree with that. However, this language teacher last year decided that my DD is a goof-off--that she constantly has to tell her to pay attention, that she's talking in class etc. I'm the first one to side with the teacher in these situations--I questioned my DD and asked her exactly what was going on. She made an even bigger effort to focus in that class after we met with the teacher, and things got better for a while. Now it's only the 2nd day, and this teacher is already picking on her again and telling her to "pay attention." If you knew my DD, you would know how utterly absurd this is. I don't want my DD to go through another year with this awful woman. She obviously is holding a grudge against her for some reason since last year. I have a call and an e-mail in to the guidance counselor. I discussed this with her at the end of last school year and again before school started. Any ideas on this? I work in schools, and have been a teacher myself, but I think my anger is getting the better of me. There is no other teacher for this particular course and I don't want my DD to switch languages because she needs a certain number of years to look good on college applications. Plus, it's a language that is spoken by members of our family, so it's nice for her to learn it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:04pm
The best thing to do is have a face to face (not by phone) meeting with the teacher to discuss your concerns. A foreign language is important to study but not a requirement that colleges really focus on.
Avatar for sharo63
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:19pm
Actually it depends on the state you are in. In NY, for instance, foreign language is a requirement. I would talk with your daughter about strategies to work through this herself and I would as much as possible stay out of it - unless you think your daughter is being harmed. By 10th grade they can handle a little more and if your school is small enough where there is only one teacher for this course, you are not going to win by fighting her. It is very hard when we encounter people (teachers) who don't appreciate all that our child is but I think in your DD best interest I would calm down and talk to her about her biggest issues with the teacher and help your daughter figure out how to deal with it. It is one of those life lessons that just isn't fair:(
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:26pm

Thanks to both of you for your replies. I've already done both of these things--including having a face-to-face meeting with the teacher with my daughter present so she could participate in coming up with a solution. We did that last spring, and things improved significantly for a while. I know of other kids who have dropped this foreign language specifically because of this teacher--and these are good, responsible kids. I've also talked to my daughter ad nauseum to come up with strategies. This teacher is singling her out for some reason.

Any other suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:26pm

It is a big deal to some colleges so I understand what you saying. DS2 only did 2 years of German in HS, and, while it didnt affect the 4 yr college he went to last year, it is necessary to have under your belt to be considered for transfer to the 4 yr college he would like to attend beginning his junior year.

Both the German teachers in this area(2 schools)are known to be tough-what is it with German, I dont know. I knew of someone who took her language at the community college instead because of issues with one of them You have to get permission from your counselor, and you would have to pay, but its an option and a college semester = a high school year so 3 yrs of German would take three semesters, one of which could be done over a summer

I know this isnt unheard of here as I took a semester of beginning Spanish a couple years back and the teacher was talking about it and the awkwardness of having underage students; one was accompanied by her dad which sounds like free college for dad to me. Another could not leave the room during the breaks.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 4:36pm

I totally can believe that teachers just do not "click" with certain students. I've seen it with my dd more than once. She is a top honours student, 90% of her teachers will say she is a "pleasure to teach" and then there is that one or two that just...don't like her. My dd is esp strong at English and even won awards for her creative writing and marks and I remember in 9th grade she had an English teacher she swore "didn't like her" and her average was below 80 which was unheard of for ANY of her classes and esp not expected in English. In English esp where the marking does call for some subjectivity its easy to see grades affected by a poor relationship.

In our case we had no alternative, English is a required compoenent of the curriculum, there was no room to move her without affecting her entire schedule so she just sucked it up and stayed where she was even though she seethed at all the comments and lower marks.

As for your dd, she could do the same or you can find another way for her to take the foreign language course. Perhaps summer school? Or night school? Some school systems offer these courses off-hours with different teachers and they are still credit courses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 5:11pm
I know here in PA, at least with the University both my children attend, foreign language did make a difference. Because they both had three years it was not required to be taken at the University level. I have been in your situation with my DS while he was in high school, I tried to let him handle it, but with some teachers that just does not work. I would meet with the teacher and your daughter again as soon as possible to see what the problem seems to be already and how to resolve it. If that doesn't work, I would proceed to the next step by making an appointment with the administration and the teacher. I regret that I did not take a more proactive approach when my son was in school, if I had it to do over again I definitely would question more. Sometimes there is a definite personality clash and the teacher being the adult in the situation needs to overcome that, just my opinion. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 5:43pm

It is my opinion that teachers and students can sometimes have personality conflicts just like any other two people. I am not an advocate of letting kids switch teachers because of these conflicts, because it is a great life lesson on the fact that sometimes we have to deal with people we just are never going to see eye to eye with....However, I wouldn't make my child go through it for a second yr :) I would be honest with the councelor about this and state just that. It would probably be in your daughters best interest to have a different teacher this year. I think that I would insist :)

Julie

Avatar for imomtojd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 9:27am
I've read all the other responses and the other posters gave some great advice. In our area, you must take a minimum of two foreign languages and three to get into certain university's around here. I'd hate to have my child go through another year with that teacher though, esp. since you've already had conferences with her. Do you have any other options - online courses, etc.? Our county (state, I think) has a huge online program for high school kids to take extra courses or ones not offered at their particular high school. I hope this all works out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sun, 09-02-2007 - 10:31am

Unless I felt the teacher was grading unfairly or being openly mean (calling names, handing out punishments, etc) or could not teach the subject, I would let/make my DD work it out for herself. Not every kid can get along with every teacher, and learning how to deal with this (especially by the time they get to HS) is a good lesson.

My DD was an English "whiz" in Elementary school - she has had a hard time since 7th grade - and part of it was realizing that the English teachers didn't automatically *love* her! Now she does fine, but it was an adjustment. In 9th grade she had a really hard Global Studies teacher - my straight A student barely squeaked a B- for the year. Knowing that other kids also thought she was a hard/mean teacher helped keep it in perspective, but she had to tough it out because no other teachers taught 9th grade G.S. I wasn't happy that she spent the year thinking she wasn't good at this subject - but she made it and learned alot about getting along with teachers.

OTOH, last year's French teacher was awful - literally knew less French than I do (25 years after my last French course) - on that topic, I did follow up, complaining both to department head and PA President - teacher was a leave-replacement (long-term sub) who was not asked to return for the second semester.