The teacher took her cel phone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
The teacher took her cel phone!
27
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 1:00pm

Yes, she has been warned, no texting at school, no texting while driving. I will be checking! Don't know about the driving, but DD 16 had her cel phone confiscated this morning for texting in class. DH went to the school to retrieve the phone, and he is mad.

Now in the grand scheme of things, I know this is small potatoes. She is basically a good kid, and pretty responsible. She gets good grades, dances 3-4 evenings a week, and is working part time to pay for a spring break school trip to Paris and Italy. Her car is old (1981 Mercedes) and she drives about 25 minutes to a Performing Arts charter school, so she MUST have a phone. For my peace of mind, if nothing else.

My first reaction is to cancel the text messaging, and block it. Does that seem reasonable? The texting is new, but got quickly out of hand. I would say that before this summer and the PT job, she had very little social life. Her school is very small, the kids live all over the place, and there are very few boys. All of the sudden she is going out with boys, and they all seem to communicate exclusively by text. I am glad she is going out, I think she needs some practice with it before college! And I can't believe that if they can't reach her by text, they won't call.

So, my question. Is cancelling texting an overreaction to one phone confiscation? Her Dad is livid, so I'm sure some scolding will be involved. He wants to take the phone away completely, but we need a compromise here.

She is supposed to go bowling with a group tonight, and is meeting a boy for a movie on Sunday. She can't go out without her phone, my rules.

As you can tell, I am not experienced at this! She is my only child, and has been very little trouble up to now.

Diana

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 2:45pm
Sorry but the $20 fine for picking up a phone sounds like a very sweet cash cow for a school. Seriously. They aren't going to be at all lenient if they have a chance of making $20 out of it.
Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 3:40pm
I totally agree. But, this school is not known for ANY leniency for ANYthing (unless, of course, you have the *right* last name). Wish I could charge them 20 bucks for everytime they screwed up on my son's grades...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:27pm

I would punish her for texting in class but I would not take the phone away from her because of all of the reasons you listed. My girls text all the time, probably 99% of the time and use the phone for an actual call about 1% of the time. I don't understand it but then I'm not a teen. My girls would go over their limit when they first received their phones but they've gotten better at it, especially since I made them pay for ANY overage charges they incurred. It got to the point that I decided to go with an unlimited texting plan (our plan was very reasonably priced), given that they're both in college and text friends at other colleges quite frequently.

Texting in class is really bad (especially in college...my husband is a college professor and just hates it). Try to nip it in the bud now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:24pm
LOL She sounds like a normal teenager. I asked my DD this summer (as she sat texting a friend) why she didn't just call, wouldn't it be easier? Her response was when you text someone you can be doing something else also, like watching TV or being on the computer and you can't do that when you make a call. Go figure, multi-tasking!!!!
Yes she shouldn't have been texting in school..but it was a first offense. I wouldn't cancel the texting unless the mistake gets repeated. I can understand why the school doesn't want cell phone use during class...but sometimes I think they go overboard with the confiscating, at least our school here anyway. My DS made a call to me from school to inform me he was being punished for something that didn't involve him and I called to inquire about it. Boy the Dean jumped all over that and wanted to know how he called me...looking to see if he had used his cell phone to call me. He had used the phone in the library...but I knew it was only going to be a matter of time before his got confiscated because the Dean couldn't prove he had used it to call me. Sure enough within 1 week, his phone got confiscated as he moved it from one pocket to another without even using it. They informed me that if it was confiscated again they would keep it until the end of year...luckily I did not have to fight that battle. They all make mistakes and in the grand scheme of things, I really don't think this was bad enough to eliminate texting yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:37pm

I'm kind of a "nip it in the bud" Mom. I don't want her to do it again, so I'm going with taking away her phone for a week. She will use my phone when she's going somewhere, driving or with someone else. And I will use hers. She can't use mine to text, I don't have texting.

Another issue, my husband and I had agreed on what the punishment is. I left a note for her to call him when she got home (to check in) since I had a doctor's appointment. He went off on her on the phone, yelling and swearing. It's just a lovely habit he picked up from his Dad, but I didn't think he would do that since we settled it between us and he was calm. I guess I will handle these things myself from now on and leave Dad out of the loop unless she goes too far. I don't agree with the verbal abuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:52pm

Our kids are not allowed to have their phones out during "instructional time" but can if class has ended but the bell hasn't rung yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:56pm
Boy, am I glad someone brought up the fact that we survived without cell phones!!
DD's school does not allow them out of the locker at all during the day. She & I had to sign a form at the beginning of the year about it. Also, I made sure we never got texting for our phones, what's wrong with leaving a message or she can see that she missed a call & then return it. Our cell phone provider told me that they restricted them in the school because kids were texting each other answers on tests! That's a little beyond sending notes. Also, won't the secretary get messages to the kids- that's how we have to do it. Not a huge school, but still..
I agree, they're a privilege, not a necessity
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-1999
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 9:56pm

I would definitely make sure you know what your school's policy is. Up until this week, in our school system, if phone is seen, on, or used any time during school day--1st offense: parent had to pick it up at the school; 2nd offense: phone confiscated and Board of Education gave it away to charity. Period.

This past week at the school board meeting, they agreed to lessen it to 2nd offense: phone is confiscated and kept until the *end of the school year.* Make sure your DD understands what your school policy is. Depending on what it is, there may be enough incentive for her to follow the rules.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 11:54pm
If it were my dd, she would not be going out anywhere this weekend!! The texting would also be blocked, but I am a mean mom!

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 3:12pm
As a teacher, I disagree here! Texting is MUCH worse that passing notes. For one thing, the kids are often texting people that aren't even in the same room - they are texting friends in other classes, friends outside of school, etc. That's a lot MORE people to be texting than you would ever have passign notes - and who knows? They might even be communicating with people they shouldn't be. One point made to us is that while they are in our care, it is our responsibility to keep them "safe" - parents assume that peopel outside the school environment don't have access to their children in school, but cell phones can give them away in. (eg - I had one girl who would text with her 23 year old boyfriend, he'd convince her to cut her next class, etc - parents were livid about that). also, texting has SO much more potential for bullying, abuse and exploitation, especially with camera phones. And it just seems so much more time intensive - texting even a short message sure removes the child's concentration from the lesson for quite a time! One really peeves me is that if I DO try to take away a kid's cell, even just till the end of class, I get a HUGE fight out of it, and often even the parents are mad that I've tried to take away something that "belongs" to their kid. I like the schools that just don't let the darn things into the building!