Teachers , students and sex.........

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Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Teachers , students and sex.........
5
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 4:01pm

I've been thinking about a previous post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 6:22pm

You do make a valid point... and especially with the very young teachers, they aren't very far removed from the casual hook up world of college and haven't learned a new mentality yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 7:13pm

Your point may be slightly off topic but I think there is truth therein -- ie that poor judgement and bad behaviour is not limited to the young and inexperienced and immature. The reasons behind these types of poor choices are complex and its why I personally have issues with cause and effect types of discussions where there are educated, informed people who should definitely know better.

If you took any action and traced all the way back through the path of how a person got there, there were probably hundreds of points at which there was some thought required and decision made. And at each time a different choice could have been made. Why a person at that particular point in time decided to take one path over another is so mind-boggling to fathom.

When I think about what it takes for a young teacher to start off by being helpful and attentive to a young boy in her classrom and then progress to the point where they are SLEEPING TOGETHER! You gotta know how many things happened from point A to point B and at some point this teacher must have said to herself "but this kid is 14, I shouldn't be doing this". So what makes them do it, I dunno.

For me, I don't get it. But when you think about how many young people in their 20s have active sexual lives, restrained or not, its a very tiny percentage that choose to act on young students. And, for me, if someone has a healthy, active sex-life with people their own age or thereabouts, how they could choose to be with a fumbling, innocent kid is beyond me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:52pm

"if someone has a healthy, active sex-life with people their own age or thereabouts, how they could choose to be with a fumbling, innocent kid is beyond me."


Maybe to have the upper hand in the relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 3:34pm
Uhhhh, no. As a HS teacher I gotta say that the "teachers" who engage in sexual activity with their students are doing it not because society is too permissive and sends out the message that it's OK but because they are selfishly seeking to fulfill a need that wasn't met in their own adolesence. They abuse their position. Almost every young teacher who started their career in middle and high school can tell you that students have developed crushes on them. That is totally normal and expected. It is the responsibility of the adult to discourage it. Those people who take advantage of it are feeding and soothing a part of their own egos and psychies. I know you weren't defending the behavior. I just had to add my two cents
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 4:20pm
I would really be surprised if this was actually going on more often than it used to. I honestly believe that this type of behaviour is nothing new or even occuring more often than it used to. Young people will always look up to teachers/profressors/mentors and it's easy for them to confuse the admiration for affection/attraction or flat out lust. If there is an increase, I'd say it's because the teens/young people are made more accessible because of email, texting or cell phones. Many parents have no idea who is calling the child at 11pm (or that they're even getting calls at 11pm) because they don't pay attention to them. There chance of being caught now if perceived to be less because of this direct communication that is possible between teachers/coachs, etc.
My DD's softball coach asked me to hang out at practices because he was usually the only adult there and didn't want there to even be an appearance that something bad was going on, he also only used the girl's home numbers and if they wanted to give a cell number he told his own DD to take it so she could call the players herself. Actually a shame it should be that way, but I can understand why he would want to protect himself from anyone even suspecting anything other than coach/player relationship going on.