Techno Age & Teens-Myspace/Facebook

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Techno Age & Teens-Myspace/Facebook
32
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 12:07am

I read with interest the myspace/facebook discussion below...and was shocked to see two different camps - one that would never ask for their child's myspace/facebook password but WILL open their mail (which is the camp I belong to), and the other who would never open the mail but checks the myspace/facebook daily? I wonder how that happened?

In reality, the mail is safer. You KNOW when you see a letter whether it's from someone you know - and whether it's an invitation or thank you note. Whereas the internet is so public, and there's so much danger involved, that it really does make more sense to focus your monitoring on that aspect of your child's life.

But we seem to have forgotten one very important detail. Our children were raised in this technological age - unlike us, they haven't learned it as adults. Just like we learned from each other how to "bulk up the blankets" so our parents didn't see we'd snuck out, they share information with each other on a daily basis that teaches each other how to "scam" Mom and Dad who are checking myspace/facebook.

Fake screen names, additional myspace/facebook accounts, the ability to create an unlimited number of email accounts through yahoo, gmail, hotmail, etc. make it easy for our children to have the myspace/facebook account we "see" and have access to and the one we "don't." The one we don't simply won't have THEIRi picture or name, so if we search their friends' pages, we won't find them - and if we believe there's something suspicious about a myspace page, and think it's something they may have created, it will be private.

I created a fake myspace to show them how easy it would be for a predator to befriend them. I had 55 friends in a month...using fake pictures, a fake email address, and a completely invented personality. When my son found out that his ex was looking at his myspace, and Dad insisted that DS "friend" him, he simply created a new one - that didn't show what he didn't want seen.

If your children don't balk at giving you their passwords (as most will), be wary - it could mean you're getting the "safe" account. Same with email. One can create a gmail account you would never know about.

if you're truly suspicious, a good keystroke logging program or internet monitoring program will tell you exactly where your child is going online...but if it's just "watching for watching's sake," take less time to investigate their email and myspace and more time to talk to them...you're more likely to get the truth.

Also - play the game - be "friendly" with their friends - most of my kids' friends are my friends on myspace--I see everything that's going on. The good part about this is that if either of my kids created a fake myspace to "get over," I'd know it immediately. I also know which of their friends lie to their parents, which smoke pot, which went out drinking last weekend. It's information I keep in my head until I need it (my son's best friend once said they knew they weren't allowed to go to a party before they were even invited bc "Mamarose has myspace").

Keep your eyes and ears open and pay attention - you'll learn far more that way than by having your kids' passwords.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2007
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 12:37am
I'm glad to hear you were concerned about that too. On Facebook they actually have networks consisting of all the schools etc. It's very exact. That's why Mayor Guiliani's daughter was listed there from Harvard I believe and she said she was for Obama and everybody found out. Thanks for your response!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:28am

That makes sense. I could see it for kids in high school.

Pages