teen age boys and ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
teen age boys and ...
3
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 9:18am

Hi I am new to this site and am just going crazy to get some info on this subject. Please don't judge as I am sure this in a normal thing (I hope).
I walked in to my son's room the other night to say goodnight as he was having a sleepover with his best friend. When I opened the door they both jumped off the bed trying to play it off that they were wrestling and one fell off the bed. I noticed that my son was erect. Oh my god, what is going on here? I didn't say anything told them lights out and left the room. Didn't hear another sound all night.

The next day we went swimming and the boys were playing under the blowup boat. It was upside down so I couldn't see them. I thought they were hiding from their brothers. Swam over to flip the boat and tell them to let the kids have a turn with the boat and saw my son erect again. I can't really tell if his BF has been erect because he takes off the minute I come into the picture.

When questioned, my son pretended that he didn't know what I was talking about. But as you all know we as mothers have ways of getting them to spill it.
He started crying and said that his BF was doing things to him that he knew wasn't right. He has been kissing him and telling my son to touch him and; well use you inagination.
My son said he asked him to stop on several occaisons but he just tells him it's ok.
I asked him how long this had been happening and he said for a few months now. I think he knows it's wrong but then started enjoying it and felt; what mom doesn't know won't hurt.

Please help. I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever experienced this or some varation of this?

Please help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 12:23pm

OK - you need to find out the actual truth...

Is your son telling you this story because his BF is actually encouraging him to do things he doesn't want to do, and making him uncomfortable, or,

Are they two boys experimenting with each other, and your son is telling you this story because he doesn't want to disappoint, embarrass, or anger you - or get into trouble?

Those two explanations have very different consequences.

If it's the first, you need to take action immediately - someone that uses persuasion to get someone who's saying "no" to say "yes" (when not in the midst of a romantic relationship - where it's still not right, but more motivated by hormones) is showing signs of becoming a sexual predator or a pedophile. He needs help - and if he's 15, his parents need to know what's going on and GET him help, before he gets older and hurts someone.

If it's the second, you need to find out if your son is having homosexual tendencies and is afraid of not being accepted by you or your DH - if that's the case, that's YOUR issue, and you're going to have to deal with it. Or, is he afraid he's going to get into trouble for experimenting, and you're going to take his BF away from him? If that's the case, just let him know the importance of not "playing" at sex...and keep your eye on them carefully.

Sit down and speak to him carefully - and let him know you love him no matter what, and you like his friend and want to see him get the help he needs. Make sure he understands that an accusation that is based on "tryingn to keep myself out of trouble" could result in very negative connotations for the other young boy - possibly permanent ones...but at the same time, it is VERY important that he tell you the truth.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

Avatar for sharo63
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 12:37pm
What age teen boys are we talking? This could be experimentation if they are young, but I would be concerned if the other boy is forcing your son to do things, either through intimitation or otherwise. I think you need to have a very open, nonthreatening talk with your son about what is going on.
I have 2 teen boys, (older) 17 & almost 19, and we have been through alot of weird stuff!! Not this exactly but...never say never...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 12:38pm
Not sure if this post is for real or not but if it is true that your son's friend is doing these things against his will that is abuse and it should be made very clear to the other boy that any further attempts will result in you taking legal action.
Pam