teen and spring break
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| Thu, 01-19-2006 - 7:03pm |
Hi,
My name is Anita and I have a a question. I normally just lurk here, but have come upon a situation and I'm not sure what to do. You all seem so level headed and I've seen some good advice, I'm hoping you can help me.
Anway, my DD is 17 and a senior in HS. She's a great kid, good grades, never in trouble - at least nothing major, just normal stuff. She does her chores, sometimes have to nag her, but she does them.
She asked to go to Florida (we live in NY) with a couple of friends to Disney for spring break for a week in April. One of her friends parents has a timeshare there and they want to stay there - the parents will be going as well and of course I wouldn't consider it unless they were going to be there. She'd be financing the whole thing herself.
Have you let your kids go away on spring break? Under what conditions?
Just a little concerned - she'll be going away to college in August (still waiting to hear on whether she's been accepted) but I figure this would be a good first away from home experience before the college dorms.
Anyway, has anyone been there, done that?
Thanks for your help!
Anita

Hi there,
Yes I have allowed my dd now 19 to go away once in grade nine and once in grade 11. It all depends on if you feel comfortable with it, if you think your daughter is responsible, do you know the parents and if so how much supervision would there be? Basicly you have to feel your daughter would act repsonsibly because you just can never tell how much someone else will supervise, everyone has their own idea on how much supervision teenagers should have. Both times my dd went away once to nova scotia and once to washington dc. it was with school trips and let me tell you they are not really supervised all that much, they would have breakfast together and then be told when to meet back and check in. I knew this in advance having been on one myself. I knew my dd to be responsible and not a risk taker and always stays in with the group, so with this in mind I let her go. Of course I was nervous and she called everyday to check in with us and I did manage to sleep everynight!! You also have to trust in the other kids and parents who will be going. It is a great experience for them at that age.
Catriona
I think this is a tough one - I agree with you that since your DD will be in college in a few months, it's a good idea to give her some practice on her own. My DD is only 14, and I know this will be coming up soon. Honestly, I think my DH will have a harder time than I will.
Since your DD would be travelling with someone else's family, it seems somewhat safe.
But, I have concerns about "Spring Break in Florida". Is this just something that gets over-played on TV or are there real problems with HS and College kids getting carried away? It seems like one of those situations that has alot of hype - kids have big expectations about what they *can* or *should* do on Spring Break - and then a situation that can be dangerous/tempting.
If it was my DD, I would talk to the other parents about the trip and then talk to my DD about my concerns and expectations. And then probably would let her go and hope previous years of good teaching will pay off.
HTH
Sue
Mom to Emily (18), Conor (17) and Hannah (12)
Wife to David - 8/20/88
I went away for spring break my senior year of high school. I had a great time, and it really was a growing experience for me! I encourage you to allow your daughter to go and have this experience.
Laura
I agree with this poster that the first consideration is if your dd is responsible and trust-worthy. Then if you trust the other kids and the parents. Teens that are looking for mischief will manage to find it because they won't be with the parents 24/7. Also different parents have different ideas of what level of supervision is appropriate or necessary so don't *count on* these parents to supervise to your specifications unless you know that they already do.
I think that there is an expectation to go wild on spring break for college students that are off without adults. For HS students that are staying with parents it may be less because hopefully the parents aren't letting them go off for hours at night where they might meet up with college students and join the partying. Is the Orlando area is a popular spring break destination for college kids?
My DD13 has gone on spring break twice with friends and their families. In sixth grade (age 11), she went to Florida with a girl who has been a close friend since kindergarten (and I grew up with her mom). They stayed in a condo on the Panhandle, everything went very smoothly. Last spring, just before her 13th birthday, she went to Virginia Beach with her very best friend and her mom to stay at her aunt's beachfront home. Again, this is another parent who I completely trust. The trip went very well.
I think the most crucial thing is to make sure everyone (kids as well as adult chaperones) are on the same page as far as the level of supervision, rules, etc. I would insist on *all* parties getting together to hash out expectations and come to a workable agreement before giving permission for my child to go.
I also agree that this might be a good "test run" for your DD before heading off to college. My DS17, a junior, will be going on a class trip to Europe this summer (3 weeks- ack!). The supervising teacher is a good friend (we had our DS's together) who has been very candid about the trip, the level of supervision and her expectations. We did a lot of soul searching before giving the go-ahead. It will be the trip of a lifetime for him and a very valuable learning experience for us all!
Debbie