Teen Bedtime Issues

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Registered: 05-12-2003
Teen Bedtime Issues
24
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 8:49am
My DD (17) has been routinely staying up until 1:30-2:00. There was one night she stayed up until 4:00 playing a video game with another kid (he lives with us now). We did talk to them both about this the next day and said that was just too late. DH and I go to bed around 10:30, but sometimes I wake up around 12 or 1. Last night it was 1:30; I went down to tell her to go to bed. She continued to chat on Yahoo and just said "I will!" Well, 10 minutes later she was still doing the same thing. I again told her to go to bed and she snapped me to leave her alone, she was fine and that she always stays up this late! I reminded her that she has a 10:00 a.m. doctor appt, has to pack for a week long Florida trip, has swim practice 3-5:30, then works 6-11. Her room is in the basement... she went down to her room and turned on the TV and was texting friends on her cell phone. At 2:30, she came back upstairs and was walking around again. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep because I was concerned and frankly a little ticked-off because she tends to always do things HER way even if it affects her negatively. I have been trying to get her up by 9:30 a.m. in an effort to put an end to these late nights... but she stays in her bed and it takes a good 45 minutes and about 10 attempts at waking her to actually get her out of the bed and standing. This is just NOT enough sleep for her. When she was little, sleep was very important to her. She always got about 10 hours a night, so I know her body's needs as far as sleep goes.
This whole year is going to be an experiment. She plans to go to college in a year, but I am not so sure she can handle it. First off... she is young for her class... she JUST turned 17. She has ADD and has a history of making poor decisions and not thinking things through. I mentioned to her that she COULD go to the University that is 45 minutes away next year and take just a couple of classes and work full-time before going to college full-time. My gut feeling is just that she isn't ready to handle getting enough sleep to attend classes, staying on top of the homework, and the partying lifestyle of college. Of course, there is "though love" and I have had thoughts of just letting her figure it out and sending her off. That could be expensive though.
Regarding the night time habits... we could have her turn her phone in to us at a certain time... but what will she do next year? I wish the computer would turn off at certain time at night. She loves Yahoo and Myspace way too much! Her brother (15) has regular routines for himself; he chooses 12 midnight for his bedtime every night. This seems fine... because it is sort of structured. He figures out how much sleep he needs, goes to bed at midnight and then gets up around 9-9:30 on his own. Whereas, DD just sort of allows things to drag on and doesn't think about her needs.
What do you all think about this?
Deb
Debbie
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Registered: 10-26-1999
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 8:27pm

Hi wolverine - I mostly lurk here, but I have to say that my dd has had an entirely different experience with ADD.

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


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Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 8:33pm


n/t


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Edited 8/17/2006 8:49 pm ET by wolverinegrrl_84

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Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 8:48pm
Oops, nevermind, I read incorrectly. I thought she was going off to college this fall.

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Registered: 12-04-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 9:55pm

I think it's common for teens to experiment with sleep. It's an independence thing as well as somehow there is an attraction to being up in the wee hours.

Will some of this pass when school starts? I'd set some ground rules - like have to be able to get herself up, chores done, etc. and then let her decide on bedtime and activities as long as she is not disturbing you. If she's not meeting the ground rules, then I think it's legitimate to require electronics be off at a certain time. She still has another year for you to have some say in her activities and for her to show she is ready for college. If stuff is getting done but she is tired, eventually she'll figure it out. (One caveat, we've been pretty strict about not letting kids drive any distance when they have been burning the candle at both ends.)

All easier said than done, I know. My DD, age 19, keeps very odd hours and I am concerned about her. She typically goes to bed at midnight, gets up at 4:45 a.m. to go to work, gets off at 2:30 p.m. and then takes a 2 hour or so nap. It's unhealthy and very inefficient as she takes two showers, etc. A couple of times this summer she stayed out until time to go to work! I hope this schedule will go away soon. She doesn't drink or get into other age 19 issues so I've kept fairly quiet on this one. DS, age 15, is very much self-regulating. He goes to bed after me about 11:30 - 12 and doesn't have too much trouble getting up at 8 for sports.

Avatar for jupiterfit
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Registered: 05-12-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:39pm
We've been giving her freedom when things go well... like when she communicates with us and handles her responsibilities well... which she does a lot of the time (her meds have been helping with this). But lately she has been staying up TOO late and then can't get up in the morning, so it could be the meds causing insomnia... or that she just wants to be a teen that stays up late and wants to chat with her friends (who are also up late). DH and I told her that electronic devices would need to be turned off by midnight until she starts getting herself up in the morning for work, sports, appointments, etc. When school starts, it will be earlier. Hopefully she will be able to sleep. I am curious to see how the meds help her in school this year and with organizing her life. She was so sick and tired of people hounding her because of her failure to follow through on things before she was on the Adderall. I have confidence she will mature this year.
Deb
Debbie
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Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 10:53pm
I strongly urge you to check into the insomnia thing. I know when I went on Adderal, my sleeping got even worse (and it was bad to start out with). At first, my psychiatrist wasn't sure that treating my ADD was a good thing to, given my problems with sleep. However, I'm now on Adderal (though I alternate between Adderal and Concerta), and Lunesta. So long as I take them far enough apart, there's no real danger of a bad drug interaction.

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Registered: 08-17-2005
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 1:47pm

Amelia,
I would really love to know how you have your parental controls set up for the internet to go off at a certain time - I don't know how to do that. Do you have a particular monitoring program for that or just the computer? Feel free to email me if you like. I would love to do the same thing.

Marie

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Registered: 05-24-2003
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 2:05pm
My DD isn't quite as old, only 14, but the way we deal with it is if she can't get up when she says, she loses the right to decide. If she wants an adult bedtime, she has to have the adult wake up as well. Tell her as long as she gets up and does all she needs to do...she can decide. Put it in her hands and let HER know that she decides what happens.
Avatar for jupiterfit
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Registered: 05-12-2003
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 7:14pm
Thanks for the info on insomnia. Doesn't Lunesta have some side affects? Or was that some other prescription sleep medication? How do you feel taking two meds with opposite effects? Just curious. Do you feel you function well during the day?
Deb
Debbie
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Registered: 10-16-1999
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 7:17pm

You're probably thinking about Ambien, which used to be touted as a great sleep med, but has some real problems.