Teen Expieramenting!
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 06-07-2006 - 12:41pm |
Have any of you had any problems with your teen smoking cigerettes or expieramenting with pot? thats where I'm at with my 15 yr old son right now. last summer he admit to me that he's tried smoking cigerettes and tried pot and that he was just curious, I told him that it is unexceptable and that he may not do that anymore, I was happy he felt he could talk to me about it, well about 2wks ago I thought I would snoop in his room a little and check to see if I find anything inappropriate, well I found a pack of cigerettes with a joint inside it, my heart dropped because I did not think he was using, I confronted him about it and punished him, I am so confused as to where I go from here with him, I feel I dont trust him anymore, should I get him counseling right away for smoking pot or is this something that he is just expieramenting with? any advice would be helpful. Thanks
Cat

Thankfully, I don't have any btdt experience or advice to offer you, but I would venture a guess that since you found the cigarettes and joint in HIS room, therefore in HIS possession, it is most likely HIS stuff and his use of both has gone beyond the 'experimentation' stage.
I don't know what steps you need to take next, but I'm sure others on the board will. Sorry you are going through this.
Cat,
It depends on how strong a stance you have taken towards cigarrettes and/or pot. Some parents allow their kids to smoke cigarrettes, choosing to pick their battles. The pot is illegal and most take a stronger stance towards that, even if just on that issue alone.
I can tell you what I would do in my situation if I found that in my own ds16 or dd14's room. I have not and will not tolerate any of that in my home; I would begin by explaining that a certain amount of trust has just been lost and must be "earned" back. I would remove privileges (such as t.v. in their room, cell phone, computer time, whatever) for a short period of time. But what would last longer is limiting the amount of "free" time he has with friends. The justification is that he has just proven he cannot be trusted, and will be treated like a younger child until he has earned that trust back. Again, depends how strongly you feel about this, but IMO it's a slippery slope from here on out if you don't take a strong stand.
You must be really disappointed--and angry--and scared...am I correct?
Truth be told ALOT of us parents out here have not only smoked in our time but smoked a few joints. I know I did when I was a teen. I had a period of about 3 years during which I smoked fairly regularly without my parents knowing. It was something I tried and I actually enjoyed for a while but when I turned 18 I had enough and quit -- cold turkey. I think I'm one of the lucky ones because its not that easy to quit.
I also tried marijuana more than once as a teen. It was something purely social -- here have a try -- why not -- that sort of thing. Again I was lucky in that I never got any further than pot and the occasional drink.
Neither the cigarettes nor the pot did me any lasting irrepairable harm. But I know NOW that with smoking or marijuana its really quite a gamble and a risk. You think you'll be okay and alot of people are but many people aren't. And there's no way we can ever tell who has a physiology that is more addictive than someone elses. My kids saw their grandfather have one lung removed and undergo a long recovery from lung cancer due to years of smoking. I hope to God that they've taken a lesson away from that.
Just a few months ago my husband had a very serious experience with marijuana. (Don't ask me why a 42 yo man smoked a joint but let's just say he often operates with the judgement of a child...lets not go there...). Anyway I think this joint, that some young people working at his job passed him, was laced with something other than pot. Maybe it was meth, maybe it was crack, I don't know. But he spent 18 hours in a hospital with a serious case of jitters, heart palpitations, nerves -- you name it. He thought he was going crazy and I believe that if it weren't for some quick thinking he would have been dead...honestly. Lesson there is pot isn't what it used to be. Used to be someone had some weed and rolled it up and we smoked it and laughed and ate something and slept it off. NOW we don't know WHAT is in that joint and may get more than we bargain for.
All I can recommend to your son is to ensure he has a solid education of the risks he is taking. Show him this post if you want to, if you think that would work. Take it from a former teen smoker -- smoking is THE MOST POINTLESS EXERCISE on this earth. Breath in smoke, blow out smoke, -- what a friggin waste of time, energy and money. Never got me anywhere -- never got me more friends, a better social life or anything -- just smelly clothes and less money in my bank account.