Teen getting involved with wrong person

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Teen getting involved with wrong person
2
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 1:35pm
Well - I have posted here before on issues with my dd. This is just a carry-over from before. Due to a lot my dd has been through over the last 6 weeks, I am concerned because she is latching onto someone who is so wrong for her and will lead to a bad relationship. I have seen this in the emotional and verbal abuse he bestows on her - but she cannot see it. She is vulnerable right now and I feel like she is ready to attach herself to this person because of the attention he is showing her and her feelings of lonliness. She stays very busy with activities and hanging out with other friends, but I know it is a mask and effort to bury the hurt. I want her to be strong and accept things for what they are and not feel like she has to have someone (boyfriend or friend) to feel worthy or whole.

But - I feel the more I prevent her from being with this person, the more she will push to be with him. And the more he will be the 'good guy' in her eyes and her parents are the 'bad guy.' Any advice on how to handle this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 2:31pm
I'm not sure what advice to give you but am sending (((hugs))) to you and your dd. I'm sure it's tough to see your child heading in this direction. From past posts I know we have different parenting styles. I wouldn't hesitate to do all I could to keep my child from a person that I felt would be abusive, either physically or emotionally. I realize they would 'be mad' at me and for a time it may make the other child more appealing but I'd stand firm and figure they would thank me in a few years! I hope you get some other advice here!

Pam



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 5:31pm
Have her talk to any woman in a battered women's shelter. These are people who can tell her exactly WHY she would be better off without this guy. They start the same, kind, attentive and things quickly deteriorate. Ask how many of these women who have escaped were told by their families only to turn away from their pleas and find themselves in a situation that they think is love, but really a sick, obsessive hate relationship.

Our local police department actually has pamphlets on this for teens. Check with yours and see if they have them there. There are resources listed for parents and teens on them for help.