Teen girl and first intimacies - please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Teen girl and first intimacies - please help
17
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 11:40pm

I'm panicking right now... My 16 yo daughter is talented and has had 2 nice boyfriends.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:47am

It's not too late to help her. And this is exactly when you should go into hard-ass mode. She's lost your trust by sneaking and lying, and so she is now losing her privacy for a while. So start by taking the phone away. Even if she pays for the thing herself (which your post suggests she does not), you, as her parent, have the right and the duty to take it away as long as she is living under your roof. Remove her computer from her room, as well. She can do her homework in the living room, or some other public space in your house.

And if it feels right to you,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 9:06am

I agree with everything Ashmama says. She's broken your trust, she's a minor, and now you have every reason to rein her in a bit. Another thing for you and her and the

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 11:22am

When we discovered that dd#1 (15yo at the time) had made some poor choices with her cell phone and computer use we put her on lock down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 2:44pm

I didn't even read anyone else responses because I KNOW there will be plenty of good advice.

So far I've raised 3 teenagers and have one more to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 2:49pm

Okay now that I've read all the responses, which I love by the way, I thought there was so much good advice in EKMAMA's in addition to mine that you should consider hers as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 3:05pm

She's still a great kid! We still talk, laugh, bake, clean, garden together just like any other time.

It's been about seven months now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 3:12pm

Oh I just love that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 4:16pm

Yep, having high standards is so important. Once they understand that your standards are high because you think highly of them, they get it. This is something that parents with the "teens will be teens" attitude totally miss. Yep, they will be teens, but it's our job to raise them to adulthood, whatever it takes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:41pm

You are getting really good advice here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:48pm

Sorry, just one more very important thing to add to my most previous post.

After you've done what is needed, the talking, the explaining, the consequences if necessary...

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