Teen girl and first intimacies - please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Teen girl and first intimacies - please help
17
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 11:40pm

I'm panicking right now... My 16 yo daughter is talented and has had 2 nice boyfriends.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 11:49am

"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 9:36pm

I understand that you didn't see it coming but, remember, two years of friendship is actually a stronger base to build a relationship on than what most relationships are built on.

They screwed up. Too much, too soon, too young.

Technology just makes these things too easy, I suppose. Although girls were letting boys take pictures of them nude back in my time. Parents simply didn't find them, don't you think? I never went there myself and, frankly, part of that was discomfort with my own body(although I WISH I had pictures now; hey, I looked darn good back then ;)) I do know DH had a collection of former GFs pictures-notice the "had".

Anyway, you can get past this-keep communicating, keep a close eye on her, and certainly discuss birth control and STDs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 4:20pm

I think what your daughter experienced is a lot more common than the deep romantic relationship that eventually

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 1:40pm

I just had to add that I wouldn't really expect a teenager who was going to have sex to tell you & ask you for BC--some will do it but some will either be too embarrassed or feel their parents will be mad & then not let them see their BF or GF.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 2:06am

Thank you all for the good advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 9:36pm

Absolutely don't go silent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 8:24pm

Good point - I still have the bad habit of 'going silent' when ds21 does something stupid. I have to keep reminding myself that at his age what his parents think/feel are really not even a blip on the radar...

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:48pm

Sorry, just one more very important thing to add to my most previous post.

After you've done what is needed, the talking, the explaining, the consequences if necessary...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:41pm

You are getting really good advice here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 4:16pm

Yep, having high standards is so important. Once they understand that your standards are high because you think highly of them, they get it. This is something that parents with the "teens will be teens" attitude totally miss. Yep, they will be teens, but it's our job to raise them to adulthood, whatever it takes.

Pages