Teen Interracial Dating: Your opinion
Find a Conversation
Teen Interracial Dating: Your opinion
| Tue, 09-27-2005 - 3:30pm |
I was just wondering what everyones opinion on interracial dating is for your DD/DS. If your against the race itself or more worried about the conflicts teens may run into from family, friends and the public.
My opinion is that if he treated my dd with respect, didn't abuse her or drugs, is just a regular upstanding guy then it doesn't matter what race he is. DH on the other hand says any other race except black is okay and I have never understood that.

Pages
The area we live in right now is very diverse and couples of different races are common.
I wouldn't have concerns about society acceptance here
The area we lived in three years ago would, I suspect, have been a harder area to fit into with more openings for stares and comments and perhaps rudeness
I have a white female friend who married a black male and she was very open of where they would and wouldnt live based on reactions they received. As suspected, the area Im in now was a big yes!!! as was Dallas, TX-where she lives now. Other towns had presented her with some bad experiences and she was clear she wouldnt live there
But, ultimately, that would be the choice of the couple-were they willing to accept the challenge?
And I suspect if DH chooses to expressly forbid it, the kids might purposefully do it just for being in a rebellious mood
Neither hubby nor I have strong opinions about interracial dating, it's the person inside that matters, not the color of their skin.
You know, being a teen now, I realize that our generation isn't racist much at all.
We watched Remember the Titans in English class today, and i'm amazed that movie takes place in the early 1970's. That wasn't that long ago, but things are amazingly different in terms of racism!
Kids wouldn't think twice about dating someone of a different race, nor would they think anything different of someone who was half white, half black. Most of the parents are fine too, but when you get to the grandparents, some issues start to arise.
Personally, my mom doesn't care, but my dad says I can only date black guys if "they don't act black" *rolls eyes*
My 14 yo DD had a young man out on the porch a few nights back and when I walked by her, I noticed the guy, looked at my DD and said "Hey, this one's white!" and then went inside.
My (white) DD almost never dates within her own species, let alone her own race.
ILR
I don't have any problems with interracial dating. In our area (Lansing, Michigan) there are lots of interracial couples. In fact, all of my boys have friends whose parents are white/black, so they think nothing of it. Also, my brother is married to a black woman (and even back in high school, 20 years ago, mostly dated black girls and most of his guy friends were black, too).
My oldest DS isn't dating yet, but when I cast a glance over the girls in his class that I think are nice and that I'd be happy if he brought home, there's are at least two who are black.
(Of course, back in the 1960s and early 1970s, my parents got harassing phone calls from the neighbors who didn't like the fact that my dad brought home black people to dinner and to cookouts in our white, southern neighborhood. The phone calls didn't stop my parents from inviting whomever they pleased to our house, and we kids saw that and took it to heart.)
Elizabeth
I'm in your court on this one. If the guy (or girl) is polite, respectful -- all the things you mentioned, race doesn't matter to me. Same-race relationships don't guarantee that!
My best friend of 30+ years is Japanese, married to a caucasian. Another high school friend is caucasian, married to an Indian man. DH's best friend of 35+ is black, was married to a caucasian woman and dates white women pretty much exclusively.
Last week, DD was telling me about a conversation she'd had with a guy who approached her in the library while she was doing her homework. After relating the conversation, how funny he was, cute, etc., she said, as an afterthought really, that he was black. Guess skin color is secondary to all else.
I can relate to this, and in this case it's WRT me, in grad school. I dated a guy whose parents were old world Austrian; he was born there but they came when he was 2. They expected me to shake hands, hug, and be comfortable with them talking Austrian in their home; my family has never been physical nor did I know Austrian (German in hs, but not Austrian!). That guy and I seriously talked marriage, but after such a fiasco visiting his family (they were literally insulted that I didn't do those things 'naturally' and insisted he break things off) and after I learned he intended to only speak Austrian or German at home with kids, I bowed out. So for me, that was strictly cultural differences, but it sure was enough.
To me, it'd all depend on the person and what they expect, vs. race, color or creed.
Sue
My DD dates interracially - and is currently in a relationship with a good kid who is africanamerican - and it doesn't bother me. It would bother me if he were a bad kid, but he is great. As was her last BF. She knows to evaluate people on their values, accomplishments, goals, ideals, etc. and if they have things in common, if he makes her laugh, if she can talk to him easily, like a friend - all that stuff that makes a person & a relationship REAL.
My DH (her stepdad) doesn't say anything although it bothers him - fortunately for DD, in this case, he really has no say.
The only time it ever bothered me was when she 'changed' her style of talking to 'ghetto' or 'urban' or whatever. But that was a few years back and she doesn't do that anymore and realize that it is phony to pretend like you are from somewhere you aren't. And, also realizing that not all africanamericans talk like they are from the ghetto! I don't know or understand why, at anypoint, pretending you were from the 'ghetto' was cool. I guess thats popculture rearing its ugly head - fortunately, she figured it out.
Unfortunately, my parents/her grandparents have not been supportive and she knows that they are racist, though of course, they deny it. And, unfortunately, she sees them all the time - weekly - and sometimes this subject comes up and it turns into an argument and I have no choice but to support DD. Somehow I think they believe that since they aren't in the kkk that they aren't racist - they don't realize that thinking differently or less of another person due to the color of their skin is still being racist.
Socially, I don't think many people in this area give it a second thought.
Anyway, just my two cents...
<<>>
You sure got that right. It's only been 7 years since a black co-worker of mine had a cross burned in his yard for dating white women. And I know a self-professed Christian who's great-nephew is biracial and she won't allow the child into her home. Even as an infant.... it is very sad. And what you said about the elders in the family not being accepting of the kids or adults dating outside the white race is also very true.
However, I've found that my DS-16 has no racial issues whatsoever. And for that I'm glad. Maybe the U.S. is headed in the right direction in this area.
cc
Pages