Teen night at a club

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Teen night at a club
12
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 7:07am

DD15 wants to go to a "Teen Night" at a club this weekend. So far I haven't seen anything in writing (or online) that says what this club is, who's sponsoring it, where (exactly) it is, etc. DD knows I have to see something specific before she can go. She also wants to follow the night out with a sleepover at I's house. She sees this as a 'favor' to mom and dad - you won't have to come out late to pick me up - but we are not happy. I is the friend who has consistently shown the most risky behavior and seems to be the least supervised. I told her this morning that we were thinking she could go to the club, but not the sleepover, because I'm not convinced that I's mother provides enough supervision. She says "how can you say this without talking to her first?"

My DD is ususally very responsible, and has (so far) given us no reason to not trust her. But this is one of those boundary pushing times - she wants more independence, we want her to stay where we can see her until she's at least 25 - the "right" answer is somewhere in between lol - but finding it is the key!

WWYD? What are the "right" rules/boundaries here?

Sue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 5:09pm

As far as sleepovers go, I'm wondering if you stopped them altogether based on one (or more) bad experiences. I do understand where you're coming from - I didn't allow my dd14 to spend the night at a party she was recently invited to simply because I can't trust other parents. It's really sad to say, but even after talking with them you're just not going to know what really goes on. I don't trust any parents unless I have known them for years (so nobody, basically).

Right now I let my dd spend the night at one friend's house because the bad experiences were all at her bad influence friend's house, H. But I'm starting to wonder if I should not allow them at all, too. All I have to say is one more bad experience at any other friend's house and they will terminate for us, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 6:56am

Thanks for all the responses. So far, all I've gotten is the name of the club, but no flyer. I agree with daddio that if it's important to her, she'll find a way to get us more information. Thanks for the tips on finding out if/when adults are let in, and if kids can leave and come back, and the rule about not hanging around outside. Also, it scares me, but I will talk to her (if she goes) about watching her soda and not taking anything from anyone she doesn't know. YIKES!

Sue

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