Teen son and older woman

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Teen son and older woman
11
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 2:31pm
I'm new to ivillage, and to chat and message boards, but I need help! I just found out my son sent $500.00 on his 17th birthday to a "friend" he plays WOW with. Come to find out, he sent it to her to keep her out of jail because she owed child support. More digging, and now it seems they're in a "relationship" and have discussed eloping, although he told her he's not ready for that. She is 27, divorced with 3 kids, in a different state. I'm freaking out. He is naive and immature emotionally for his age. He hasn't even had a girlfriend at school before. I don't want to freak out on him and scare him off to her. I'm not very internet savvy, so I don't know what my options are in finding her, or finding out any more info on her. I have not yet let my son know what I know, as I want to be careful what I say to him. Please help!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 4:06pm

Oh, geez, I worry about this with my 15 yr old. One of the players in his group(they have a name but I dont recall)is a woman in her late 20s who broke up with her BF because she spent too much time on the game!!!!

How much have you spoken to him about this stuff? Can you address it without revealing the 500 dollar scheme knowledge? Ask about his friends-ages, sex, place of residence.

Use this board and my 15 yr olds 'friend' who is 28/29, if you like. Tell him I'm worried as my son is innocent, shy and naive and unlikely to date in HS. See what he thinks about MY situation with his 17 yr old wisdom. Would he say I am worrying for nothing? Etc Etc

Mine plays "Silk Road" btw.

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 5:27pm

How do you know she is 27 divorced with 3 kids and lives in another state?

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Avatar for commitmeplz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 7:50pm

How about disconnect the internet in your home! This is a serious issue. So if you have to, take away his internet at home and he won't have as easy access to it. And I agree. This lady (IF it's a she) could say anything, she could send photos of 'herself' that might not even be her. And I do think she's scamming him as well. BAD situation that needs a grip put on it now!


JMHO

 

 

 

      

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 10:44pm

Well from what you say, either:

(a) she is what she is and she and your son have developed a sort of bond or relationship, or
(b) she is preying on your son's innocence to get money, or
(c) she is or is not what she is and is attempting to lure him away for some nefarious reason.

Whatever the truth, your son may end up feeling used, betrayed, victimized, humiliated and embarassed.

I'm curious though, how did you find all the stuff out that you do know? You claim to not be internet savvy but you are savvy enough to have determined this persons age, status, money he sent her and discussions/conversations they had. How did you manage that? How could you know all this and not manage to contact this woman yourself, threaten her with some action or whatever and warn her off your son?

This all sounds a bit fishy to me, quite honestly, but if this is legit what is going on is dangerous for your son and I think you MUST confront him. You have to be able to talk to him and find out what exactly is going on even if you have to put on a front to ask him to invite the "woman" to your house or maybe a phone call so you can all "get to know one another". Draw this person out if you must...

Avatar for weberdns0
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2000
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 11:56am
I think that you really need to talk to the police about this matter and see what they can do about this since he is still a minor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 1:37pm

This should be reported at www.cybertipline.com immediately. No question about it. Just make a report and if they find out what kind of person she really is, your son will realize that he could have put himself at risk.

Report this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 5:01pm
Thanks for this website. I hope it helps. The police so far have been 0 help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 5:31pm
The first thing we found out was the money - saw his bank account. When we questioned him he said it was just a friend he was helping out. He gave us the why and such about the money. He has her name and address, that's all, she'll pay him back when she's able. My son is not a generous person, so this is a bit unusual for him. He happens to be very close to his cousin, my sister's son, who filled us in on all the rest of the info about wanting to elope and such. My son also out of the blue a few weeks ago started talking about entering the Army. According his cousin, this is so he can be stationed for basic near her, then they can get married and live on base and have all those military benefits. I'm so afraid any negative reaction from any of us at home towards either of them will make him angry enough to go straight to her. So far we are limiting internet times, trying to find a way to get some solid proof or copy of their conversations, and trying to question him without him feeling like he's being interrogated. The local police will do nothing without solid proof.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 5:35pm
I love the idea of using this board and your concerns to start a conversation about this. Thank you, I'll try it. I know if I question him outright he'll just clam up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 9:08pm
The CyberTipline is a program of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. An analyst will investigate your case and it will be reported to law enforcment.

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