Teen spending habits?
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Teen spending habits?
| Mon, 07-17-2006 - 1:46pm |
How much do you attempt to influence how your kids spend their own money? My 15 year old has had a job for a little over a month. He really wastes his money (in my opinion). Most of it goes to DVD's and video games. On Thursday, he got a $489 paycheque - and then later in the day he got a $400 government rebate cheque that everyone in the province got. It was ALL gone by 6:00. He spent $30 on a birthday present for my 7 year old DD, bought a new DVD player for about $100, spent a little on fast food -and ALL the rest on games and movies. On the one hand this is terrible financial management, and I'm trying (unsuccessfully) to encourage him to make better choices. On the other hand - it IS his money, so I don't know how far to push that!

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> > When he has a job he will no longer recieve an allowance from us. He will be required to purchase all his own clothes, car insurance, gas, entertainment, gift giving and save money for college. We are not paying for his college tuition. We expect that he will continue to tithe.< <
I'm just curious...Are you speaking of him having a part-time job in high school or is this for after he graduates HS and works F/T to save/pay for college? I realize we are at opposite ends of the country, but down here, there is *no way* my son could've paid for his gas, clothes, car insurance, gift-giving AND save for college on what he made part-time thru high school, and then get to have *any* kind of fun. It would've killed me to see him not have *any* fun in high school. I even paid for his tuxes for proms (He went to 3). I don't care how well you budget, part-time jobs just don't pay that much here. I don't know, maybe he could've gotten more hours if he weren't involved in sports, but I felt the sports thing was important too. But that's just me. :) He is going back to junior college this fall, and some of the things he has paid for while he was out of school, I will pick up. I want him to be able to spend *some* time studying and going to class. Even with it being a junior college, it is so stinking expensive, I just don't see how he could pay for it working part time (without taking out tons and loads of loans).
If your son can pull this off, my hats off to him!! Maybe I should take budgeting tips from him! LOL
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Just because we would much rather our son experience the process of saving up and working toward a goal of purchasing a more expensive item, than to simply hand it to him, doesn't mean we are harsh. Chances are something like your dd's sewing machine would be something we would consider to be a good item to give as a Birthday or Christmas gift.
My son's allowance is sufficient to cover his needs, including the cost of his hair cut each month, Either we give him the responsiblity of handling things for himself, or we drop his allowance down and pay for everything he needs ourselves. Personally I'd much rather he learn NOW how to budget things over the course of a month, learn to manage and anticipate things that will come up (gifts, expenses, etc..) than to simply wait until he has his own paycheck and hope that he'll listen to our advice and not spend it all on stuff he doesn't really need. I'd rather give my son the opportunity to learn to really manage things now, so that he will have good skills for the future.
We specifically added to his allowance last year, the cost of the hair cut, to give him more responsiblity in handling his personal financial needs. A hair cut only costs $10-15 depending upon what is done. If he manages to save money he can keep the difference and apply it to something else, if he chooses not to get a hair cut, that is his choice, but he has to live with the unrully hair (he's tried it,hated how hard it was to manage when it was long, even after having it styled it was difficult and now keeps it nice and short). But it was his choice to make.
The clothing allowance is separate from his regular monthly allowance and specifically set up for him to learn how to shop wisely and to make good purchase choices. The only time his monthly allowance is used is if he wishes to purchase a more expensive item than what he has budgeted for that item. ie. A pair of Levi jeans instead of Wrangler jeans. Though most times he finds clearance sales and outlet store deals that help him keep in the brands he loves, without having to really dip into his own wallet too much.
As for our not purchasing un-neccessary items for our son outside of his birthday and Christmas, that has a lot to do with our chosen lifestyle of simplicity. We take a needs before wants mentality towards everything. We have a very negative view of materialism and hate the level of commercialism that society seems to embrace. Now just because we don't purchase things outside of birthday and christmas, that doesn't mean that our son has to go without nice things. He has his own laptop, professional quality mountain bike, weight bench and weights, PS2 and games (though he doesn't have many and gets maybe two new games year at best and usualy those are used or traded games for something he doesn't play often) etc... It just means that he doesn't get the instant gratification of mom or dad purchasing things for him whenever he would like it.
stacy
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Tithing is his choice to make and if he tithes and how much he gives is entirely up to him. Tithe is never forced and must always come from the giver's heart. Otherwise it is not truely a giving of thanks. Right now he's averaging about half of his gift money and that is his choice to make. We have no say in how much he gives. In fact the only reason I know how much he gives is because he asks me to fill out an envelope for him when I'm filling out mine.
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Expecting (as in anticipate) and requiring are two different things. I suppose I should have said I anticipate that he will continue to tithe. I don't see what his service to God has to do with our requiring him to pay for his own higher education.
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I don't know what you consider "all" financial assistance... but a free roof over his head, free meals, free family activities, free family vacations, free medical care, etc.. hardly seems like he's not recieving financial assistance.
All I said was that when he started earning his own money from a regular job, we wouln't continue with giving him an allowance. Part time, at $7 per hour here will earn him an average of between $600 and $800 a month. I highly doubt the amount we give him for an allowance will make or break him.
stacy
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While in highschool I expect my son to manage his car insurance, clothes, gas and gift giving. In speaking with other parents of teens who are there already... they said that the average for gifts, clothes and car insurance is running about $35 per week. Leaving the rest of their pay for gas, college savings and anything else they may like to do. Most of them are having fun, going to concerts, movies, the beach etc..
I managed to pay for my car insurance, gas, clothing and my college education and work at the same time. I worked my way through school, while continuing to live at home to save money, attended a state school and never needed to take out a student loan. My parents did help with fees and books (Which we also intend to do for our son). I babysat two nights a week for extra spending money and because it was at night, the kids were asleep and I was able to get some studying done. My coworkers and I went out on Friday nights after the store closed up to go dancing and my friends and I went out every Saturday night to listen to a live band. We averaged seeing three live concerts a year as well. I'm not saying it was easy, but it was well worth it.
Dh worked his way through school, but also took out a few student loans because his parents did not help at all. He had to pay for everything, including books, fees, room and board. He still managed to have fun while going to school.
Just because parents do not foot the bill for a college education, doesn't mean that the student's social life is over.
stacy
I'm well aware of costs. All my siblings children are either recentely graduated and married, just finished college in the past year or currently in college.
Starting pay at most jobs here is $7 per hour (McDonalds pays $7.25 to start)and maximum hours is 32 hours per week for part time reguardless of age so long as the parent allows the teen to get a worker's permit. There is no state income tax where I live which really adds to what your take home pay is.
My friend's dd just got her licience and their insurance for her is only $700 per year (good student discount). I pay about $530 per year for my own car and $650 for dh's... but that's for a brand new vehicle.
As far as driving costs go, we live within 10 minutes of one of the biggest shopping districts in the state. Driving cost is minimal with city buses going to all the major shops and restaurants at a fraction of the cost of paying for gas. My personal gas bill for dh and myself (dh going to and from work each day and I going to market, library, ds' doctors 4-5 times per month etc... is only running us $120 per month for both vehicles). Dh works two towns away and yes, gas costs us $3.00 per gallon.
I am basing my expectations on what my parents did for myself and my siblings as well as what my siblings did for their children. (two of which just graduated from college last year and one is working on her masters degree, so my information on cost is very current).
Tuition for 2006-2007 school year at my son's dream school is $7,500 per year minus fees, books, room and board (Which is what we will help pay for if neccessary). He will need to only cover tuition.
He may need to take out student loans at some point. I'd be suprised if he didn't. Two of my nieces needed to, but one had them paid off within two years of working full time after graduating and the other has about $2,000 left to go.
stacy
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Forgive me, but I find this way of thinking a little off-kilter, perhaps even a little twisted.
I too, have a 12yo DS. Like your DS, he did not ask to be born, nor did he have the opportunity to chose me as his mother. It is my responsibility, my duty and my obligation to provide him with a roof over his head, food, medical care and the right for him to accompany the rest of the family on outings and vacations.
I don't see how this can be construed as receiving 'financial assistance'. I see this as doing what you as a parent are obligated to do for your child when he entered the world via your womb. I think if I ceased to meet those obligations, I expect I'd get a rather unfriendly visit from the folks at Child Protective Services.
Managing money is a huge and worrisome burden. There is no way I'd want my 12yo DS to have that burden so early in life. Just getting through middle school and the teen years is tough enough.
Just curious Stacy ... how long has this 'budgeting' plan been effect with your DS? Or is it all just theory at this point?
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He's been living with a montly allowance since he was four years old. Requirements for what he was responsible changed as he got older and his allowance increased accordingly. At first it was just money that he was allowed to have to spend on those little things that the kids always bug for in the check out line at the grocers. You know... those little toys in the quarter machines by the exit, or the gum and candy in the check out.
As he's gotten older he's taken on more responsiblity. He didn't like us paying for HIS gift to Grandma, because "then it really wasn't from him", so that's when we figured what we spent on gifts that were "from him", averaged it over the course of a year and then added that to his monthly allowance, so that he could purchase his own gifts.
When our friend's kids (who are not quite two years older than ds) started complaining about wanting this brand and that for clothing, we decided that a clothing allowance would be helpful in avoiding the situations our friends were complaining about. In addition it would allow him to truely see the value of budgeting and looking for the best deals, sales etc. Ds loves being able to shop for his own things and to manage his own money for clothing and such that he needs. He loves finding deals and gets excited about going shopping for new clothes. We started the clothing allowance when he started middle school. He's in 8th grade this year, so this is his third year with a clothing allowance. The only down side is that since it's his clothing allowance, I have very little say in the choices he makes and he does occasionally make impractical choices.
But it's a live and learn process and I was happy to see that he's learned from the past when he's made some of his choices this year. ie... choosing a button down shirt that goes with all his pants and jeans, instead of the denium shirt that would just look good with one shade of blue jean.
We don't required him to tithe, as that has to come from the giver's heart. He chooses when and how much he wishes to tithe.
Hair cuts started this past year when he asked if he could also take that over. Basically he got tired of having mom bring him to the barber and wanted to take himself in. So we decided we could either hand him the cash each month or we could add that to his allowance and his budget. We left it up to him how he wanted to do it and he chose to budget it.
As for the college thing. We are just following what worked for our parents and for my siblings with their kids.
My point about not providing "financial assistance" when he got a real job, was just that. I will assist him by providing what is neccessary (roof over his head, food, etc... ) and some things that are not (family vacations etc..) but assistance in terms of recieving a regular monthly allowance will stop. In no way did I imply that my child's basic needs would not be met by us. I misunderstood and viewed providing financial assistance as providing everything... needs as well as allowance. Forgive me for any in reguard to that.
As for this being a burden to my son.... He has no trouble budgeting things or managing things. For him it's almost second nature. He can look at his allowance and separate it out within five minutes in terms of where things are going. He employs an envelope system to keep track of things. He uses an accordian style envelope thing that you woudl use to keep coupons in. He's separated it into categories and he then puts the money into each category. This helps him keep track of where the money needs to go.
I don't see how having my son learn to manage and budget money now, is putting a burden on him. He's never stressed over it and it's been a gradual process that he's grown up with. Reality is, it only takes him all of five minutes to categorize his money into the "envelopes". He enjoys having his own money to spend and loves the control it gives him in terms of shopping for clothes, gifts etc. Not to mention how cool he thinks it is to be able to walk into the barbershop by himself and get his hair cut, without mom being with him.
In his world he doesn't really have to worry about important things yet. Mom and dad provide for all his actual needs, pay for summer camp, pay tuition to the university for workshops and summer programs, cell phone and provide more than he financially needs to meet his smaller personal needs. (hair cut, gifts, clothing etc..) allowing him plenty of money for free spending, movies, comic books etc..
Biggest decision he's had to make this past month was if he should spend his extra money on a pizza with friends downtown, or ice cream from the ice cream truck at the city pool.
stacy
Reading the whole picture of how you structure things seems more generous than your original post-a cell phone in middle school doesn't happen in my home, for example, but I was much more gullible with clothing for my middle son, the fashion plate. I also think 2 PS2 games a year is generous enough!
I think we all find out what works for us and, in my home, it has done some changing. DS1 and DS3 are very good with money and always have been. DS2? Yikes!
I guess the important thing is that we teach them to budget and be financially responsible for something-that 'something' probably varies.
College?
Interesting-I think Ill start a new thread.
Stacy, now that you've detailed it in more description, your plan (aka, your son's plan) doesn't sound harsh at all. It sounds like he's had a contributing voice in regards to how he earns, saves, and spends his money. I think he shows remarkable maturity and determination for someone so young. And I do agree, it's probably better that his knowledge of his finances begin earlier rather than later, like most teens.
I have a problem with tithing, but that's my own personal baggage...lol.
I find your son's approach to his finances admirable - you should be proud.
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