Teen wanting to go on cruise
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| Sun, 12-30-2007 - 1:52am |
Hi, this is the first time I have posted anything, but I thought I would give it a try as my 17 year old daughter and I have been arguing a lot about her wanting to go on a cruise next December during Christmas break. She will turn 18 in November of 2008, still be a senoir in high school and she wants to go on a cruise with her friends. I am totally against this for several reasons. One I just dont think she is responsible enough to get on a big ship and ride off with her friends. Shes not the most responsible girl, God love her. Her room is always a mess and when I say a mess, its a mess, she never washes her own clothes, she loses stuff all the time (like her car keys), shes a procrastinator and waits til the last minute to do anything of importance (like school work), etc. Honestly I really worry that things would just go completely wrong if she went on a cruise. I know I am just worried as a mom, but the fact that she shows me little signs of being responsible in just her day to day life, how can I think she is responsible enough to go on a cruise. The cost is $520.00 to be paid by the end of july. Thing about that is, she works now but barely works enough to cover gas money for all her driving around she does and is always asking for more gas money anyway, now all of a sudden she thinks shell be able to come up with money for this cruise and spending money. She says to me " I will be 18", and I tried to explain to her that shes still in high school, she still lives under my roof, which means she still has to follow my rules. Dont get me worng other than the fact she isnt that level headed and responsible with certain things, she is a good girl, very active in church, has good friends, never been in trouble, never had sex, done drugs or even drank, and yes I can say that its all true and I am certain of it, I am notbeing nieve. Still I just dont think its a good idea for her to be going on a cruise a month after turning 18, besides the fact it just worries me to death, I just dont think these kids need to be leaving the country without any aldult supervision. Being 18 shouldnt make you an adult, your maturity level should. So anyone have any advice for me??? I just need to hear what others may think. Its a year off, maybe shell have changed alot by then with her maturity and responsibility level, but I dont think so. Any advice would be great.

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Now I know who you are all talking about. Yes, it is a very sad.
Unfortunately, kids are not always controllable. I am not a fan of these 'group vacations" to exotic places. Unless it is planned trip (i.e. today we are in Belgium type of trip), it can be dangerous. Band trips, foreign language trips (i.e. kids go to France here) are OK. They are more working holidays. But "vacation trips" can be a problem. The senior kids here in a few of the high schools organize trips to a resort in Cuba over the winter break. (Canadians have no trouble visiting Cuba. It is only Americans that can't). It can get rather 'rowdy' with all the drinking. Not a trip I would like my kids to go on.
Only my humble opinion because I don't have an 18 yo asking me to go on cruises just yet... lol....
Nov 2008 is an entire year away.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm just a big, ol' scaredy cat!
My DS-18 did go away for a couple of days this past summer, first time w/o me. But he went to a resort town that we have visited many, many times. We went over the driving route together. It's only 2 hours away and he has a cell phone. I encouraged this trip as a first-timer. He went with 3 other guys, all of whom I actually took with us at one time or another to this same place. They all know the area very well, and I squared it with all the other parents beforehand. (it can be surprising how many kids don't actually tell their parents these things) They went camping. Ran into a few snags, but worked things out, and DS did call every day. (he did because he knows I would have haunted him otherwise)
I would be worried about a group of girls alone so I understand your concern but.....
that's a long way away. A lot of plans fizzle, if not for your dd, they may fizzle for the other dds. What do the other parents think BTW?
Money. She would be financing it and,as others have said, I would be sure I wasnt taking care of gas, etc to the point she had more of her income to keep. She may give up on her own and you wont have to say a darn thing!
I would likely agree and cross my fingers that it fell through.But Id be darn sure I was coaching her as necessary. Id be discussing Natalie H and every possible situation these girls could get themselves into
Id definitely be discussing drinking. Once they hit international waters, 18 yr olds can drink and, even if she has not done so yet,the temptation is going to be huge. Much of the side trips on these cruises revolve around alcohol consumption(I would discuss thos side trips as well)
If she doesnt go, you have taught her life lessons. If she does go, it had to happen sometime and you have prepared her the best you could
Good luck
Unfortunately, this is all too common. It drives me crazy listening to DD's friends as it is none of my business. The theme is the same,
I agree with you wholeheartedly, Daddioe. I think you put a very good perspective on it.
I'm wondering--do cruise lines have any requirements that kids that age be accompanied by a more mature adult, such as someone over 21? You'd think they wouldn't want a gaggle of 18-year-olds partying away without any chaperones, at least out of consideration for the other passengers.
Update. I just checked Carnival Cruise's website. They have a reputation of being more "party" oriented, I think, so I thought their rules might skew more towards a younger crowd. Here is what they say:
Guests are required to be 21 years old (on embarkation day) to travel.
I'm glad you posted. I forgot all about this requirement!
If memory serves, last year there was only one cruise line allowing under 21 travel. It was something like Cruise Easy? These
Great thought, ej-we should have known! They can't rent a rental car at that age so why would they be allowed on a cruise ship.
Here it is....
http://studenttravel.about.com/od/boardaboat/qt/easycruisecarib.htm
OMG... Ain't no way...
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