Teenage girl---soon to be 18
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| Sat, 08-11-2007 - 7:50pm |
Hi there, I am new to this Board but have been in several others. I need some help with my 17 year old daughter. Her dad and I are divorced almost 6 years now. I have a man in my life for over the past 2 years. The problem is, she hates him and has just told me recently that she hates living with me and him. She has been moody, wants to be left alone, basically wants/has nothing to do with us. I am on disability so I am home daily. Money is and always has been very tight. I do whatever I can and would just love to see her smile, carry on and be happy. Maybe that's my first mistake. What teenager is happy ??? Her nature alone is very quiet, she loves her time by herself and like a typical teenager spends alot of time in her bedroom, even eating there. We are in a small apartment so there's not alot of places she can go. She enjoys her friends and going out, but we are not as close as I wish we were. She doesn't want to live with her dad, who is just a few streets down the road, and we get along fine. However, she can't wait to go to college. We have one near here...but she wants to go away to college, to escape us too, that much I know. As for my partner, he is also very quiet, and doesn't say much, if anything to her, just as she to him. (it's fun for me I tell ya ).
I myself, suffer depression, anxiety, agorphobia (at times) and find it so stressful and am hurt by her admission to me. What's a mom to do ??

Try not to take her comments about not wanting to live with you anymore too personally - so many kids this age say that.
I think you should help her go away to college, if that is at all possible. Considering you are probably low income, you should be able to qualify for fin. aid. She doesn't have to go that far, it could be an hour away, so you can still visit sometimes. My DD is going to college soon, 2 hrs. away. She is very excited and I am happy for her cause I went away to college and really enjoyed it.
By the time I was 18, I was tired of having to listen to my parents, having to be home at a certain time, etc. and it's not like my home life was so bad, I just needed some independence.
I definitely agree with your advice about college. I am going to, as always, support her decision and do whatever I can for her. Yes, she will qualify for a student loan without question, so that's good. It seems we've been communicating abit better since I first wrote. I think it was a need to vent more than anything. She's quite looking forward to her last year coming up and has even started going over some of her studies. She seems to be happier as school is approaching.. 24 days she told me today lol.
Thanks to all who have posted and helped me.
ivpisces