teenage self esteem

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
teenage self esteem
5
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 7:03am
Hello everyone. I wondered if anyone has went through your teen not having self esteem or confidence? My daughter is 14 years old, has lots of friends, social, cute girl but she seems to have no self worth She is hooked on her so called boyfriend (first one) who treats her like crap and she just keeps begging him when they are fighting to forgive her, or spend more time with her etc. I am so afraid that she will get into a pattern and end up with boys that take advantage of her lack of self esteem. I wonder is there are some teen programs for this. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 10:26am
Is this the only instance where she has shown low self-esteem? My 15 y.o. DD sounds a lot like yours. But she has been extremely strong-willed in every instance except when she was dumped by her first boyfriend. I'm sure that being treated badly by a girl's first boyfriend is, in and of itself, a blow to one's self-esteem. Does your DD seem to have healthy self-esteem otherwise?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 1:18pm
Thank you for responding. My daughter was on the volleyball team because her friends were but it turned out that she was good, but had no confidence in herself, therefore the coach did not play her much because of that. It really concerns me that she does not think enough of herself to let this boy treat her like crap and she goes back for more. There are other boys that are interested in her but she won't give up the other one. Tell me more about your daughter. Does she seem this way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 10:17pm
My DD seems to be pretty confident in most of the other things she does. She isn't super outgoing, but she is very strong willed once she makes up her mind to do something. I think that's why she had such a hard time letting go of this first boyfriend (that, and his continued manipulation of her). I think these teens just think these relationships will last forever, that this boyfriend is "the one," so it is hard to let go, even when they aren't being treated very well. Unfortunately, I guess it's a lesson they have to learn the hard way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 6:53am
How long did it take for her to let go of her first? I keep hoping that she will decide to move on but I know she has to do it on her own. Has your daughter had other boyfriends since then. I worry that my daughter will get into a pattern of choosing these kind of boys. I just want her to feel that she is good enough and she does no have to be treated bad by boys. Also, she has not really had a father figure in her life and I have read some about girls having problems because of that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 8:39am
It's been 3 months since he broke up with her. She hasn't "let go" yet, still hoping things will change between them, but I see signs that she's starting to come around. Of course, she hasn't had other boyfriends since then because as far as she has been concerned, this is the only boy on the planet!