teens is all i can say

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
teens is all i can say
12
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:15am

ok this is the second time i have put anything on this board as far as a problem, i have looked at others as for to help with problems i have had but dont seem to find one to help with this or i have missed it somewhere...

Here goes, I am with a wonderful man, that has two teen boys. These boys have been with him for eleven years alone( he is divorced, large battles with the ex over the kids and custody for the last 11 years so the kids know how to play both of them and do) anyway my problem is when we were dating the children were going out doing things with friends so we had time together to do things we found time to put everything in to place family time as well as alone time, even in his home because the kids went out. but now it seems i can not get any alone time with him. The mom does not visit with the children as far as her weekend visits, and they slacked off on going out with friends. They seem to want to have there dad do things with them but leave me out of everything to the point of picking things that i can not do because of health related issues...
the other problem i have is i stay home most of the time i have a part time job but do most of the cleaning in the home, seems that every day i clean something the older boy messes it i vaccum he makes sure he gets the floor dirty things like that they leave things laying around jackets papers books dishes ect .. they have no choirs to do but always ask for money and get it .. i have said something to him about this not the money thing but the choirs he said they dont have to, and if i want to give them money i will it is mine to give .. now the older one spends time in his room and his dad says it is because i am complaining to much about him or something is wrong we have had our rounds about this for over a year now i even left once but told him if i leave again i wont come back

what can i do .. if you need more info plz ask i will try to get it to you

i am just confused and at the end of my rope i dont want to be around the older one because he causes so much trouble for everyone else in the family not only me but his brother and his dad dont see all the things he does or does not want to see it

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 3:24pm
we are engaged to be married but with all this going on not sure if it is gonna happen he told me about 2 weeks ago if i can not get along better with his older boy that there might not be one
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 5:28pm
I would move out and continue to date him. When his sons are grown and out of the house, then get married. Right now you're just an unpaid housekeeper, cook and bedmate.

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