a teen's first girlfriend
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a teen's first girlfriend
| Thu, 10-05-2006 - 12:01am |
i need some help, please.........i am so worried & so frustrated where my 16 year old son is concerned....after staring across the driveway at our blonde little neighbor girl for a year, they have (after 1 month of talking, first kisses, & watching movies) decided they are in love & will get married after college....this is my son's first girlfriend ever.....he's shy, doesn't have the greatest self-esteem, but has good grades.....he & i have always had a close relationship as i raised him alone for the 1st 8 years of his life.......but he's slowly changed in small ways.....my silly happy boy doesn't joke around anymore......he doesn't work on building his plastic models, play video games, watch tv.........he does NOTHING that doesn't revolve around this girl.........if he has time to kill at night, when he could work on models or something, he just goes to bed......which he's never ever done before......ever......he never went to bed early before.......he's outright disobeyed me twice this week......not big things, but things where she was concerned.......calling her when i said no.......going to her house without telling me when i'd JUST told him to ASK first.....he's never really disobeyed me outright before....she tells him she doesn't get along with her parents at all.......then he up & says something about how he & i used to fight all the time which is such a total untruth.........we've never ever fought "all the time".....we had 6 months of stressful times when he was turning 13, but otherwise he's been a great kid.....i don't know what to do........i've limited his visits with her to 3 schoolnights of his choosing til 9pm......friday & saturday nights til 11:30pm....sunday afternoons......the other nights, he can call her on the phone.........i'm going to have to limit that further b/c the other nights, he talks to her on the phone for hours & hours & does nothing else........i limited visits so he could spend some time doing things he used to love to do........but he won't.......they've never been anywhere together except for her parents taking them to youth meetings at her church on wednesday nights....they either stand in our driveway talking & kissing & hugging or sit at her house watching movies....she so far as refused to come into our home.....which baffles me....he's told me of her ex-boyfriend who threatened to stab her at youth a few weeks ago....her dad called the youth minister & the boy was kicked out of church........what kind of boy was she going with to begin with? then tonight he tells me they were talking about drugs at youth meeting.......then immediately says "she told me something bad but i can't tell anyone else"........he said it wasn't about drugs......i asked if it was about alcohol.......he said no........i asked if it was about sex......he said no.......am i crazy for thinking this girl is beginning to be a bad influence on him....should i talk to her mom about this in generalities to get a better perspective on lauren?.........she's failing 2 of her classes & just got kicked off her volleyball team because of it..........she goes to a private christian school.....she has just turned 15.....her mom told me recently during the only conversation we've ever had that her daughter is very immature.....last week, she broke my son's heart by threatening to break up with him 2 different times....for stupid reasons like she was feeling "guilty for keeping him from his passion" (working on models) & then said they should break up & just be friends because my son was being more serious & not joking around as much as before they decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend.....then the next morning, after i spent almost an hour that night nursing his broken heart, she called him at 6:30am & was happy, fine, no problems.....he'd been crushed the night before.....
sorry to ramble/vent......i'm at my wit's end.......thanks for any help..
sorry to ramble/vent......i'm at my wit's end.......thanks for any help..

Sounds like your DS is just learning the ups and downs of romance.
I agree with the PPs.