Teens hanging out at the mall?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Teens hanging out at the mall?
10
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 1:57pm

Is this something you let your teen do? My DD15 asked last night if she could hang out at the mall with her friends this weekend. I said no and she told me to get with the program, that this is something ALL teens do. She asked me to think about it.

lol. Well, knowing how rowdy she can be around her friends I still think the answer is going to be no. I don't mind taking her and a friend or two to the mall for maybe an hour, when I'm going to be there. I give her a cell phone and say I'll call you in an hour and we'll meet up or stay a little longer if there's more you want to look at.

How do other parents handle this? Am I being too strict?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 2:09pm

I did used to let my DD go to the mall a lot when she was 13 or 14 w/ some friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 2:10pm

My dd (15) doesn't ask very often, and I generally let her go. However, I am also fairly confident that she will not do anything she's not suppose to, as she is basically honest and not very rowdy. My dd and her friends use the mall as a place to walk and talk without anyone (i.e. parents) listening in. I also do not let her stay more than a couple of hours. She knows that if there are any problems, she will not be going to the mall by herself again. And so far, there haven't been any problems (that I know of).


Hope that helps.


Amelia


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 2:12pm
I think it depends on the mall and the child.
Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 2:24pm

Thanks for the fast replies!

DD is hanging with a new group of friends that we are trying to get to know. The ones I've met so far have been nice kids. It's the others (still part of the same group) that I haven't met that concern me. I've seen their myspace pages and while I take what's on their myspace with a grain of salt, I draw the line when I see these teen boys smoking pot and drinking. And the fact some of these kids might be able to drive worries me. I'm confident DD does not do drugs or drink, but I think she'd be easily influenced.

When I say rowdy, I meant loud. Yes, I worry about them being a public nuisance and also some of the guys are pierced, tattooed and dyed hair. lol. Before having teens myself, I think they would have made ME nervous!

Avatar for mjaye2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 2:35pm

I think it may have more to do with the particular mall in question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 3:03pm
My DD15 goes to the mall every now and then with a friend, but only when they want to shop for something, not just to "hang out". I don't stay on the premises anymore; I did until she was about 14. But she never goes with a group of friends, and I would never let her go at night. There is a different crowd that hangs out at our local mall at night,particularly on weekends, and the newspaper frequently lists crimes that occur there during those hours. I don't have a problem w/ my DD going with a friend on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon though, and only for a couple of hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 7:34pm

I think this is reasonable for a 15 yr old

You can certainly set parameters-only Sat afternoon, two hours, call in at X time(s) but, at 15, I think it's time to put her out there. You will have to sometime, after all, and this seems a reasonable and safe beginning.

Going off in a car on a date with one boy at 16 would worry me a lot more and that's not too far away, right?

Baby steps ;) JMO

Avatar for bookwormmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:02pm

I think there is a lot to take into consideration on this one. Age, maturity level, how responsible are these kids, how are they going to get there and back? I didn't let Kelsie go to the mall alone until she was almost 16. I had seen too many kids acting up and goofing off when they shouldn't have been. Once she was "hanging" with a group I thought was a good group and wouldn't have a problem there I let her go. Now she is 17 and she and a friend or 2 go often.


We have a lot of malls in our area and some of them I would never allow her to go to alone even at her age. In fact one of them won't allow kids under 18 with out parents or another responsible adult with them. There have been too many problems with groups of kids, not necessarily causing a lot of trouble as in stealing or fights etc. but many people especially single women have been very intimidated by them. I know if I see a group of 10 or 12 teens hanging in a group and blocking the walk way, I am a bit intimidated by them. So this mall made some rules, then again it is the one that the inner city has the most access to and there were a lot of big groups hanging there.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 9:29pm

"Hanging at the mall" is a fairly common activity for teens

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 11:34pm
I agree with the others, depends on the kid, firends and mall.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!