Teens having sex in parents home
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| Thu, 12-28-2006 - 12:12am |
I know many parents oppose this, but whats wrong with allowing your teen to sleep with their
boyfriend/girlfriend at your house? I mean most kids nowadays have sex at 16 anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they should be allowed to have sex with anyone. But for example, I've told my daughter that she can't date until she's 16. But once she's 16 I don't really mind her having sex. I mean I want to raise a decent girl. I encourage her to wear modest clothing. I don't want her to go out wearing revealing clothing, bring any guy home and have sex with him.
But for ex. if shes been seeing him for a while and they're serious about each other, and of course I've met the guy and feel comfortable with him, I wouldn't mind if she had sex with him in my home.
I'm pretty open about sex and I've talked to her about condoms and birth control. I know they don't guarantee 100% but they are very effective.
I mean doesn't that sound much more reasonable than to completely ban them from having sex in your house?

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Yes! And I'm fully aware that's what Im doing and it's OK that my opposition is 'symbolic'
Edited 12/29/2006 11:30 am ET by windrush54
Is my opposition to my children humping away in the next room "symbolic" or "practical"..?
Hi Pam!
Thanksgiving was wonderful! Thanks for asking!
I made the turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, creamed corn casserole, cranberry orange muffins, cranberry salad, pumpkin pie, and pecan pie.
NO ONE got food poisoning!
My evil intent was to outshine the queen (DW) and cause utter and irreparable embarrassment, but she actually made a similar menu for Christmas day that put mine to shame... :-)
D
HAVE WE ENTERED THE TWILIGHT ZONE????
There are actually adults posing as parents that welcome sexual activity between teenagers and provide the romantic cozy home environment? My DH is having a seizure in his recliner as I read this thread aloud.
I would ask what is the definition of COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP to a teenager? Please (major eye roll here) Teenagers are children...children...children. We may educate them about the responsibilities and consequences of sexual activity, but really most teens cannot comprehend the dynamics of a physical relationship. Beyond that of immediate sensation.
There is much more I could add, but words should not be published on the internet. Is the person who initiated this thread an actual adult? actual human possessing maternal instinct?
DH still convulsing over subject matter.
I met my 15 year olds boyfriend. I knew him, I was comfortable with him and I liked him. I also met her other two boyfriends that she had for a few months. I liked them and I was comfortable with them. Oh yeah, she is almost 16, has a new boyfriend who I know, I am comfortable with and I like him. She felt committed in all of her relationships. Does this mean that I let them have sex under my roof? NO! For sybolic and personal reasons both. I have too much respect for myself, my home and my daughter to allow this. She is only 15!!! I also know that my daughter smokes. (GAG) I do not like it. I think its horrible. I don't let her smoke in front of me or in my house. That would go against my beliefs and morals. Same as having sex at 15 and in a parents home. You asked for opinions and you got them.
Now, if you still feel fine with it, well, thats your opinion and nothing anyone says will likely change that and actually I respect your opinion because every one has a right to one. I know that my 15 year old daughter would agree with you.
Symbolic or practical? ROTFLOL Definitely practical - thank goodness my house has thicker walls than S & C's apartment did!! And yes, if THEY want to have sex in my house, go for it kids - but they're also 22 y/o and MARRIED, talk about an adult, committed relationship there. Even when they were engaged, we allowed them to stay together under our roof... much to C's parent's dismay, but they were also just days away from their wedding at the time - completely different situation than our OP's scenario.
OTOH, there is no way my 15 or 16 y/o child is going to be welcome to have sex in my house - whether I know they're sexually active or not, whether I like their partner or not. That doesn't fit into "adult, committed relationship" in any way, shape or form, and while it might be symbolic, I refuse to compromise my values to make anyone else happy. To do so would be sending mixed messages, and I think part of the reason there are so many kids out there hoping from one bed to the next every few months is because too many parents take the attitude of "well, they're going to do it anyway, might as well go along with it."
Rose
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I took it to mean
"do you really think you are stopping it?"
Practically, where this is a will, there is a way and I accept that not allowing sex, drugs,drinking or smoking in my house doesnt stop it from EVER occuring in another location
But I do think it is my job to give moral structure and guidance and show my beliefs and by forbidding them in my home, I am showing 'symbolic' disagreement
Well, that's how I interpreted it!
Windrush, thats exactly what I meant when I asked if they didn't do it for symbolic or practical reasons. Man thank god somebody understood the question.
But thats basically the point, if you're not really stopping them do you just not allow it to show your opposition? Thats basically what I was asking.
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